bellisimo

  Its cool you can say he’s in a mob. My mom was married to a guy who was in a mob. But he was pretty shit at it and he wasn’t earning a lot of money, so my mom divorced him. Thank god. 

Oh, well yeah, he's in the mob. Some guys are just there for the sake of being in the mob, so all they really do is grab coffee and shit. Good on your mom, some of them are so weird...

  they are the reason we cant have nice things

More like the reason I have to hide my nice things, they blame it on black people but it's really them, 

  I’ll pay your entry, I feel bad you’ve never experienced it before.

Hey, you don't need to do that. Not my fault I've been deprived of a proper childhood.

  He got caught for having drug possession but his lawyer was able to bail him out. Took a shitload of money to bail him out though. I wasn’t able to shop for two weeks. More like two hardest weeks of my life. 

Ah yeah, my Dad's really stubborn so he told us not to bail him out because he's kind of like.. in a.. club, but after a while we just did it anyway. 

  Hey! So did my dad! Kind of…

Really? That's cool! Well, kind of...

  My mom used to live in Harlem. 

My dad used to live in prison, so what?

  They have pretty good tacos there, you know?

Oh? I'm the wrong person to be telling that to though, there's like heaps of mexicans in Laguna and I'm the only Italian. If you had have said a nice carbonara? Then I would have been on that.

  finally someone who thinks the same

They scare me though, they always travel in packs.

  How would you even swim in a tra- … Yes, yes it does have a trampoline moat.

It does?! Then that is definitely where I need to be at.

  Albuquerque Private College? 

Of course. The only good thing to come out of Albuquerque was High School Musical, and that was a fictional school, so.. That's unfortunate. You should probably go to the zoo to relax or something.