Pip

“Is he?” Simon asked with interest, surprised to hear Pippa had a brother in healer training. Though Simon didn’t know why that should be a surprise. It wasn’t like he and Pippa were friends, and he also didn’t have anything to do with healer training. “Well erm, it’s important to learn the way things are normally done before you can start innovating, but it’s also important for healers to stay open to new methods once we’ve mastered the usual ones. It’s how we keep improving, find new and better ways of helping people,” he explained. And probably bored her with it, he realized as soon as he was finished speaking. Bloody hell. Thank Merlin he was almost done here. “Oh, er – no, that’s fine, you can just send it to me.” As if he wanted to stand here and make it more obvious how awkward he was longer than necessary. Simon pulled his wallet from his pocket and pulled out five galleons which he passed to Pippa across the counter. “Here you are.” 

Simon couldn’t tell if Pippa was laughing because she actually thought he was funny or if it was just because she thought he was weird and he’d made her uncomfortable. Probably the latter. There was the vague thought that she had a nice laugh, but Simon brushed it aside. She was just being nice. It was sort of her job to be nice. Which she was clearly doing more of when she told him he was impressive. Not that Simon doubted his own ability, just now he wondered if she was thinking he’d been fishing for compliments. “Er – thank you,” was all he managed to say in response, and as soon as he did he wished he’d just said nothing. 

What she said next took him by surprise. “Oh, er, is that so?” He ventured to ask, since it had been more about the wand and less about her judgment of Simon. Maybe. Or maybe his curiosity had just gotten the better of him. Better to focus on his old wand, even if that was also oddly unpleasant. It was just a piece of wood, after all. A piece of wood that rejected him. “Well I, uh, hope someone else can use it.” He said, feeling awkward. More awkward.

“Maybe,” Simon said with a slight smirk, an admission despite the vague words. He was surprised by the fact she actually seemed interested in what he’d said. Or she was just very nice. Either way he let out a soft chuckle of his own as he glanced over at the shelf of wands she pointed out. “I’m impressed, that’s a lot of wands,” he said with a deadpan, though his lips twitched again, a subtle giveaway that he was teasing if Pippa noticed it. Only he wasn’t here to make jokes, he was here to find a wand. And it seemed like he’d actually done that. Maybe even a better one than the old one, given the non-verbal patronus he’d just conjured. Pippa’s comment had him bringing a hand to the back of his neck and giving a bashful shrug. “I’ve never actually done that non-verbally before,” he felt compelled to admit. “Seemed a good way to test it.” Or maybe she just thought he was a show-off. Which was fine if she thought that. Simon wasn’t really sure what to say to her next comment. Was she saying that just because of the magic he’d done, or because of whatever judgment had made her think he needed a pine wand now that his old one had abandoned him because he was supposedly a liar? “Oh, er – I hope so,” he managed to answer, clearing his throat after he did. 

Speaking of his old wand. Simon glanced at it again. It felt oddly sad to just leave it in the store, but hadn’t it already abandoned him? It felt even worse to take the core out. Maybe someone else could use it until it betrayed them too, probably. And Simon had never been one for sentiment. “I’ll leave it. No sense in ruining a perfectly good wand.” Because apparently the wand was just fine and Simon was the problem.

Pippa felt even more flustered at that smirk of Simon’s. Smiling despite herself. A soft, short, embarrassed laugh was all the could do at his teasing. Er was it teasing? It sort of seemed like teasing. But why would Simon Peakes of all people be teasing her. Unless of course he was actually making fun but that didn’t seem to be who he was. What she did know was that he was here for a wand not her poor attempts at small talk. Pippa was pleased she’d been right about the pine wand even if she hadn’t trusted herself. And if she cared to admit it to herself, which she didn’t, she was pleased at the fact that Simon wasn’t being a show off or bragging about his magical talents. Bashfulness wasn’t a bad look. His words surprised her. “You hadn’t? That’s even more impressive,”  she told him. Clearly the pine wand was the one for him. She decided to focus on that and not wonder what the memory he’d used for the charm was. Pippa smiled again at his answer about the pine wand. “A wizard who’d try out such a complex non-verbal for the first time to test a new wand is an excellent match for a pine wand.” This wand had definitely chosen the right wizard. Which felt like a weird thing to think, thank Salazar she hadn’t said it out loud.

A smile tugged at the corners of Simon’s lips at Pippa’s words. “I just might believe it,” he commented, lips quirking just a touch. “I did get my first wand here, after all” he added by way of explanation, choosing to let her imagine just how many windows he’d broken. Hopefully she’d underestimate the destruction his 11-year-old self had caused in trying to find the wand that had now betrayed him. Why was he even telling her anything about his 11-year-old self? And was she blushing? This was why small talk was stupid. Simon gladly turned his attention back to the wands, curious about why she ruled a third one out but choosing not to ask. Whatever judgments she was forming about him he did not need to know. He was here for one purpose, and that was a functioning wand. 

With that in mind, Simon reached first for the hawthorne. He liked what she’d said about them making good healing wands. But as his hand passed over the pine to reach for the other, he paused. Was he imagining that the air around it felt slightly warmer somehow? He glanced at the hawthorne. He was a healer. That was the logical choice. But he also preferred nonverbals…cautiously Simon picked up the pine wand, surprised when he felt that same thrill run from his arm all the way down his spine, just like his first wand had once done for him. Huh. More confidently than his first few experiments, he gave the wand a wave and the coat rack turned back into a coat rack and also looked like it had been given a fresh polish. This felt right. Certainly better than the first two. But Simon’s job required precision. He needed to be absolutely certain this wand would work for him. And he couldn’t very well practice a healing charm here in the shop where the was no one in need of healing, so he settled for a complex spell that had taken him quite some time to master, even after healer training. One he’d had no cause to learn until he joined the Order. Silently, Simon focused on a happy memory – celebrating with his dad the day he earned his lime green robes – and he grinned as a silver wolf emerged from his wand, bounded from one end of the store to the other and then disappeared into a silvery mist. He turned back to Pippa with a slight smile; he’d never managed a non-verbal patronus before. “This is the one,” he said, as if it wasn’t already obvious.

Simon had a nice smile. It wasn’t the first time the thought had occurred to her and Pippa really wished it would stop occurring. She was almost grateful he didn’t smile much around her. But it was a nice smile, even if she thought it would be nicer if it were bigger. His words surprised her and she laughed softly. “Ah so you were one of the broken windows 11-year-olds. I knocked down a whole shelf of wands,” she confided. “That one actually, top to bottom, all in a heap.” Pippa pointed to one of the large shelves of wands on the shop floor. Her confession wasn’t required and as soon as she’d offered it she felt silly for doing so. Small talk wasn’t something she was good at all. Clearly.

At least she had something to focus on instead of her weird behavior. Pippa watched as he paused over the pine, curious to know if he felt what she’d felt, the wand seemed very interested in Simon. She smiled when the wand seemed to be working for him. Perhaps her instincts were better than she’d believed. But he wasn’t done yet and she waited for him to make the final decision on this wand. What she wasn’t expecting was the next spell he chose, still impressively non-verbal. More impressive this time for the complexity of the magic. Pippa had never seen a patrons charm. She knew what it was but knowing and seeing one in person were two separate things. “Wow,” she breathed out in awe as the wolf bounded across the shop. “Excellent,” she replied when he turned back to her. “That was very impressive.” Pippa felt silly at the addition but it had been an impressive bit of magic. “Pines are wonderful wands. You two should be very happy together.” That was such a weird thing to say. Feeling awkward again she pushed her hair behind her ear and tried to focus on her job.  She moved the rejected wands to the side to be put away later. “Now that we’ve got that settled we need to discuss your other wand. If you want to keep it for sentimental reasons we can remove the core.  We don’t recommend storing working wands, magic is far too temperamental for that. Or you can just leave it here.”

Her hesitation had him curious. Was she also thinking there were no wands that would choose him now that his first had turned on him?  No – Alder wands were just good for non-verbals. Well. “That sounds promising,” he commented as he took the Alder wand and once against tested how it felt in his hands. He certainly would need a wand that was good with non-verbals, which was why he was testing them with non-verbal spells in the first place. If he couldn’t do it in the wand shop he wouldn’t be able to do it anyplace else, and he didn’t have time to get a new wand acquainted with him. This wand felt…fine, he supposed. There was no thrill down his spine like he remembered with his first wand, but it was possible that had just been because he was 11 and excited and now he was misremembering the moment. Only one way to know, though. Simon cast another silent levitation charm on the coat rack. This time it floated up gently, just as he’d intended. But something still felt off. Brows furrowing, Simon set the coat rack gently back on the ground and then waved the wand again, silently casting a spell to transfigure it into a chair. He ended up with a chair with arms sticking out that would be useful for hanging a hat but terribly uncomfortable for sitting. “Hm.” He turned back to Pippa with another grimace. “I suppose this isn’t the one either,” he said, setting it carefully back in the box. “I’ll fix that once I find the right one,” he felt obligated to add, tipping his head back toward the half-chair-half-coat rack.

Pippa waited, curious to see if this wand would be right. It started off promising. But Pippa saw the expression on his face. Something wasn’t right. This was the part of the choosing that Pippa had no part in. She couldn’t feel what Simon felt. It wasn’t like feeling the magic in the wands responding to the magic in the shop and trying to find which were responding to Simon’s magic specifically. This was a personal connection. Pippa was glad Simon was listening to it. Some wizards were too hasty and returned a week, or even days later, with complaints. She gave him an apologetic look when it turned out this wand wasn’t right either, though it did seem better than the pine. Pippa smiled at his words, touched that he was so nice. “It’s okay. There’s a fair bit of fixing things when it comes to this part of the job. You wouldn’t believe how many broken windows we get.” Normally Pippa wasn’t chatty and she hadn’t meant to be now either. Her cheeks growing warm again as she realized she had been. He definitely didn’t care about broken windows.

She looked back down at the boxes in front of her. The pine wand hadn’t been right at all but she still couldn’t help thinking the other pine might be right. “I think it’s one of these two,” she told him moving the third aside. Instinct seemed to be saying Pine but her head was saying Hawthorne. She wasn’t sure her instinct was right. But who was to say her head was either. “Hawthorne’s are very good at healing magic,” she told him, choosing not to add that it was attracted to conflicted personalities. Her eyes drifted over to the pine wand. “I know you’ve already tried a pine but that one was hard like your previous wand, this one is supple. It does make a good deal of difference and pine are very sensitive to non-verbals.” Pippa pushed both towards him. “One of these,” she told him again, sounding far more confident than she ever had in his presence.

Simon glanced at the box she pushed toward him and carefully took the wand out, testing the weight of it. It felt similar to his old one as far as the length and the flexibility. But it didn’t feel the same in – well, Simon wasn’t sure how to explain it other than the way his old wand felt before it started to malfunction. Still, he wasn’t going to write it off without trying it first. Unlike last time he did this, waving the wand around and feeling quite foolish, half-convinced nothing would happen until he’d started breaking windows, now Simon actually knew enough to hopefully not create any disasters. He gave the wand a gentle swish and flick and silently cast a simple levitation charm on the empty coat rack by the front door. It left the ground far more quickly than Simon anticipated and very nearly hit the ceiling, though he managed to control it just before that happened and carefully lower it back to the ground. He looked back to Pippa with a grimace and gingerly set the wand back in its box. “I don’t think that’ll work,” he said apologetically, feeling oddly responsible and vaguely wondering if whatever made his own wand decide to stop working for him ran deep enough that no other wand would choose him either.

Pippa waited and watched as Simon tested out the wand. It was a lot different with experienced wizards than when a child got their wand. But it was still interesting. She’d noticed that everyone had different ways of doing it. Pippa was impressed by his use of silent magic. Sadly the wand wasn’t right for him but he did manage to right the spell on his own. Another impressive use of magic. Though his grimace and apologetic words made her feel oddly bad for thinking about how impressive he was. His magic was. She was certainly not thinking he was impressive. At work especially. Her cheeks were warm again as she gave him a nod and a smile. “No, probably not. This one might be good.” Pippa hesitated, fingers hovering over the other pine for a moment before deciding on the Alder instead. “Alder wands love non-verbal spells,” she explained as she pushed that one forward slightly.

Simon frowned at his wand when Pippa left it in a stand, as if it might sense his irritation and disapproval. And disappointment, if he was being honest with himself. Which he was, if only that blasted wand believed it. He glanced over at Pippa as she pulled wands, watching her put a couple back and choose new ones in their place. He was reminded of the first time he’d been in this shop, 11 and in awe of the magic around him, the way the wand seller had all but peered into Simon’s soul. It had taken several accidentally smashed-and-then-repaired windows before he’d been matched with the wand he was now abandoning. Though really it had abandoned him first. Simon wondered what Pippa was thinking as she chose wands for him. Was there a certain type of wand better suited to liars that she was selecting for him now? He was staring, Simon realized as she turned to head back to the counter. Quickly he turned his attention to the boxes she set down, studying them with furrowed brows. They all just looked like boxes. Was he supposed to feel something? Simon didn’t think he’d felt anything the first time he was here until his wand was actually in his hand, so maybe there was hope yet that one of these was the right one. He glanced up at Pippa, feeling awkward. “Er…is there a certain one I should start with?”

Thankfully Pippa hadn’t noticed him staring until he was turning away and she was able to decide that he hadn’t been staring. He’d probably just looked over at her as she made her way back to the counter. Which didn’t help her awkwardness much but at least he hadn’t been staring at her as she went about picking out wands for him. Picking wands for someone she knew was a completely different experience. Not that she knew Simon well. She just had opinions about him. Ones that might have colored her choices. He’d always seemed independent, intriguing, and now that she knew he had some inner turmoil or something to be dishonest with himself or others about, very mysterious. Which was probably why she’d chosen two pine wands. The Hawthorne made more sense, a good wand for healing not to mention good for conflicted wizards, which he seemed to be according the the black walnut wand anyway. The other two had also felt like they could be,  but she was less sure of those. Though facing him now she felt very unsure of everything. Get it together, Pip, she scolded herself. This was what she was good at. Pippa managed a smile over at him feeling slightly more sure of herself with that reminder. “Any at all. How about….this one.” Pippa had gone straight for the Hawthorne but instead of pushing it forward she’d ended up pushing forward one of the pines, it was the exact same as his black walnut except for the wood. “You can give that one a try if you’d like.”

Simon appreciated when she provided more information as to how she’d come to the conclusion his wand was broken because he was a liar. He didn’t like the conclusion any better, but he was at least slightly less offended she hadn’t come to it based off his personality. Or she had and now she was covering her tracks, but what she was saying made sense so either it was true or she was a very good liar herself. In which case her calling him a liar was maybe still less offensive. In any case, he doubted that was the case. Or maybe he wasn’t a liar? Simon frowned again. Inner conflicts? He did not have any inner conflicts. And he was very honest with himself. He knew what he wanted and what he didn’t want. 

Part of Simon wanted to protest. He was not having any inner conflicts and he sure didn’t want Pippa of all people thinking he did. Maybe the wand was reading him wrong. The wand he’d had since he was 11. Right. Surely it was the Order thing. Only he couldn’t very well say that to Pippa, which meant his only option was to let her go ahead and think he was lying to himself about something. Fucking hell. This was exactly why Simon avoided people. But he had an issue to be dealt with and he didn’t have time to go after second opinions, nor did he think Pippa was wrong, just that his wand was wrong. And it sounded like there was nothing to be done for that anyways. Even if his wand was right, he definitely didn’t have time to deal with any supposed inner conflicts. After a moment, Simon’s shoulders sagged and he shook his head. “No, erm. I trust your judgment. I, uh…” Simon glanced at his wand again, feeling oddly sentimental about just casting aside the wand he’d had since he was 11. Then he pushed the feeling aside; sentimentality was another thing he did not have time for. “Right, a new wand it is, I suppose.”

Pippa felt warm when Simon said he trusted her judgement.  Silly because lots of people trusted her judgement. At least when it came to wands. Sometimes when it came to what to order at the tea shop too but wands were far more important. Especially a healer’s wand. That was enough of a reason to be happy he trusted her judgement. Not to mention she had also said it was thanks to his dishonesty with himself or others. Pip was leaning towards dishonesty with himself. Simon didn’t seem the type to be dishonest to others. She felt for him, having to get a new wand. Pippa knew how easy it was to form an attachment to your wand. Maybe even more so for muggleborns whose first experience with magic was tied to that first wand. Gently she put it down into an empty wand stand on the counter.

“Right! I’ll just grab a few for you to try out.” Stepping out from behind the counter made her feel even more awkward. She didn’t look to see if he was watching as she pulled boxes off the shelves, sometimes changing her mind and setting one back. Instead she tried to focus on the task at hand. Choosing wands for someone was the best part of the job. One Pippa had always done well at and had only gotten better at with experience.  Pip came back to the counter with five possibilities. All five with unicorn cores like his previous but varying rigidities and woods. She was certain that one of them would be the right wand for Simon. In fact she had a strong feeling it was either the Hawthorn or the Pine. Pippa wasn’t confident enough in her own abilities to pick just one, though she had picked two different pine wands. But Hawthorn felt like it should be a better fit, they were excellent healing wands. She’d just have to see which chose him. “We can start with these. I can get more if we need them.” Because maybe she was wrong all together. Pippa managed to give him a smile despite feeling flustered all over again.

Simon was surprised to hear she’d paid any attention to his wand. Or to him at all, really, but he quickly brushed the thought aside. Of course she paid attention to wands, given her interest in them. He just hoped she could fix whatever was wrong with his. He handed it over, feeling oddly self-conscious as he did so. There was something profoundly personal about a wand, after all. And with her quick assessment about Black Walnut being good for healers, he wondered what else she was deciding about him based on his wand. He managed a slight smile at the comment; he’d been inclined to agree until the thing stopped working for him. 

He quirked an eyebrow at the next thing she said, though. It might not do any good to try to fix it? She sounded more confident than he could remember hearing her, not that they’d spoken all that much, but that didn’t quite align with the words themselves that seemed to indicate there might be a chance of fixing it. Which was it? She kept speaking before he could ask, and Simon’s brows furrowed together. Dishonest? Simon wanted to retort that he was not dishonest – if anything, he was known for being too honest – but that hadn’t been the case since he joined the Order. Only he’d been with the Order for some time now and his wand had only been acting up recently. He bristled slightly at Pippa’s addition. Assuming that was the problem? So what, Simon being dishonest just seemed like the most likely issue? He looked from Pippa to his wand in her hands and then back to Pippa with a frown. He knew his bedside manner was not the best but he tried to tell his patients their problems the same way he would want his own presented to him: directly, without beating around the bush or sugar-coating anything. “So…does that mean there could be something else wrong with it, or am I almost certainly the problem?” Simon wasn’t sure if he’d be more upset to hear he was definitely the problem or that there was some other equally likely issue and she’d simply assumed that he was. Neither was a particularly good option.

Pippa was relieved to find that he wasn’t getting angry at her despite clearly not liking what she was saying. But then who would like someone telling them they were dishonest. She was technically just the shop girl. She’d never fixed a broken wand or created one. Still she knew wands. Maybe not as intuitively as Alaric but given the chance she thought she could hold her own, knowledge wise at least, with the blokes who fixed the wands. Pippa was certain she was right about Simon’s wand even if she wasn’t sure what it might be that he was being dishonest about. Taking a breath she summoned all her confidence and answered him.

“Normally there’s signs the wand is broken but yours is in great shape. The magic feels strong, the core isn’t dead or dying. Given the fact that it’s a black walnut wand, that worked for you in the past but isn’t now, and you haven’t said there was any trauma to it, I would say you’re definitely the problem.” Pippa looked apologetically over at him. “That doesn’t mean you’re a liar,” she added quickly feeling very awkward. “Black walnut is very attune to inner conflicts, whatever is causing the issue can be something you’re not being honest with yourself about.” Pippa wasn’t sure if that was any better but she’d be mortified if Simon thought she was calling him dishonest. Though being honest with herself, she was already mortified at having to tell  Simon his wand wasn’t working because of dishonesty on his part. “If you want a second opinion I can give it to the repair department and they can check it out for you. I just think you’ll be wasting your time.” Judging by how tired he looked she doubted he had much of that to waste. “Or I can help you find a wand that won’t give you power issues.”

Simon really did not have the time for an extra errand today. Of course, he never had time for much of anything, but finally he’d been forced to sacrifice an hour of sleep to deal with what was a very aggravating problem. Simon had a Gregorovitch wand because they ran a bit cheaper than what Ollivander’s had to offer. Not that he’d ever felt he got a sub-par product, at least until his wand started acting up recently. It started subtle, his magic seeming a bit weaker than normal. Simon had attributed it to lack of sleep until the problems got worse. So now here he was, back at the wand shop he hadn’t been to since he was 11. And – was that Pippa Farley?

Maybe Simon should have just gone to Ollivander’s. 

But it was too late now, and that was a stupid thought anyways, so Simon just stepped toward the counter and greeted her with a polite nod once she was finished with whatever she’d been working on. “That’s quite alright. And Simon is fine, I’m off-duty,” he added with the slightest of smiles. It was weird being called Healer Peakes by an old classmate, at least outside St. Mungo’s. “I, er…” Simon cleared his throat. This was a rather embarrassing problem that he’d have preferred bringing to just about anyone else. But he didn’t have time to come back again later, especially not with his wand malfunctioning as it was. This simply had to be dealt with. “I’ve been having some issues with my wand,” he explained, pulling it from his robes so she could see it. “I bought it here years ago, so I was hoping, er, you might have an idea how to fix it.” Simon wasn’t sure if Pippa was just a sales girl like at St. Mungo’s or if she actually worked on the wands, given that he was pretty sure she’d said something about studying wand lore, but it felt rude to assume she couldn’t help him out.

Somehow despite looking tired he still managed to look handsome enough that Pip sort of wished Alaric had come up front thinking it was his auror and taken of Simon. A thought that did nothing for the pink in her cheeks. At least she could blame that thought on the fact that he was wearing regular clothes instead of his healer robes. Again not helping. She felt even more flustered when he said to call him Simon since he was off duty. “Right,” she agreed softly before politely waiting to find out what he needed.

“I thought you had a Gregorovitch wand,”  she said, excited to have been right. The excitement turned into embarrassment quickly as she realized that was probably weird to notice that. Especially since she hadn’t seen him use his wand very often. Suddenly she was glad Alaric was in the back so there were no witnesses to this awfulness.  Except Simon of course. “Um, I’m sure we can fix it.” Pip managed to sound sure even though she wanted nothing more than to melt into the wooden floor. “May I,” she asked holding her hand out for the wand. “Black walnut. This is a great wand for a healer.” Which he probably knew. For goodness sakes! Pippa tried to focus on the wand instead of the wand holder but it was hard to do when the wand told her all sorts of things about the bloke in front of her.

Some of which he surely didn’t want her to know. “They can try to fix it for you,” she started her tone leading up the but she hadn’t spoken yet. “I’m afraid it might not do any good,” she finished. While her words might indicate there was a chance she was wrong her tone was sure, not even a trace of the hesitancy or flustered-ness that was normally to be found when she spoke. Pippa could feel the power of the wand and given the nature of black walnut she was sure there was nothing to fix about the wand. “You see, black walnut is very sensitive to er dishonesty in it’s owner,” the fluster was back as she tried to figure out how to tell Simon what was happening with his wand. “When it’s owner is er dishonest um it well, it loses power. There’s no way to fix it. I’m sorry. Assuming that’s the issue you’re having with it,” she added quickly because she didn’t want to sound as though she were accusing Simon of being dishonest. His wand was doing the accusing. She was just having to tell him. Still she prepared herself for him to be angry with her, he wouldn’t be the first customer to not like something she said about a wand. Though it would make seeing him at the tea shop even more awkward.

Pip assumed it was Auror Shacklebolt when she heard the tickle of bells alerting her to someone coming through the door. “Welcome, I’ll be with you in a moment,” she called out. Just in case it wasn’t she hurriedly finished the owl she was writing letting someone know their wand was repaired and ready for pick up. Once she’d secured it and sent the bird off she turned her attention to the person now at the counter. “Sorry about that, what — oh,”  despite herself Pippa felt very flustered seeing Simon Peakes at the wand shop. At least at the tea shop she knew to expect him. With a slight blush and a hesitant tone she managed to continue after her surprise had caused her to momentarily pause. “Er what can I help you with today, Healer Peakes?”