Traditional Desires

I made a post on a bottom’s sexuality before in an effort to put my ideas into words. As said I would possibly follow up with more ”ideology” posts later so here is one about social life. This is written from the perspective of being in a committed relationship.

In a relationship my social obligations ultimately become those towards my husband, which in many ways is a relief. I don’t need to juggle conflicting obligations against each other, when in doubt, it’s always my husband that is the correct answer.

The keyword in any relationship is ”permission”. The only person who can judge how well I’m fulfilling my obligations is my husband so why assume rather than just ask him? It takes no effort and any social activity becomes more enjoyable knowing he wanted me to do it. This means of course that sometimes he will say no, which again means I please him by choosing him ahead of others. Always asking for permission is a win-win!

Unfortunately it has got a bad reputation, but granting him access to my phone and sharing my location are great ways of building trust by showing I have nothing to hide from him. Should something happen he can also easily find me, so it is for the peace of mind for both of us. I just don’t understand this obsession people have with keeping secrets from their husbands, it is a beautiful thing to trust someone with yourself.

I have been thinking over the years about what it means to be a bottom and I decided I want to try putting the standards I have developed for myself into words. There may be more posts eventually, but I’ll start with the subject that is at the core of being a bottom, sex(uality).

To start with, I know there are people who may accuse me of double standards for not applying the same to tops, but that is a false comparison. There are standards for how planes and cars are built, that are uniform within each category, but they are not the same across. Some basic principles are shared, like that the vessel needs to be safe, but otherwise it would not make sense to apply the plane standards to cars and vice versa. Similarly, tops and bottoms are not identical and while basic human decency should be expected from both, the standards are only uniform within people of the same group.

Below are the bare minimum standards I think any bottom should live up to and that I do my best to adhere to.

Keep the body count low. Staying a virgin until marriage is admirable if one can achieve it, but for most it is unrealistic as one enters at least some relationship before marriage. A good target is to keep sexual contacts within such committed relationships and not date every person you run into. Bottoming is riskier in terms of STDs and if I have been all around town, what does it say about my ability to stay loyal in a marriage?

Masturbation should at most be seen as a harm reduction activity to stay away from hookups while single, not as a pleasant pastime. When married (or in a committed relationship) it is cheating and not to be done, period. Time should be spent building my character to be a good wife.

One way to spend that time when married is preparing for marital duties. Bottoming often requires preparations and there are almost always ways to make oneself more attractive for one’s husband. Understanding one’s husband’s likes and catering to them is a key building block for a successful marriage.

Sex is called a marital duty because it is not about the bottom’s enjoyment. I consent to sex on my husband’s terms when marrying and offer myself in exchange for his affection and protection.