#. ¢нαиєℓ !. !!

heads up: huge triggers for graphic/violent language, multiple nsfw themes, some mentions of drugs, and of course murder and horror.

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"movies don't create psychos. movies make psychos more creative!"

"did you really call the police?"

"my mom and dad are gonna be so mad at me!"

"guess who just called the police and reported your sorry motherfucking ass!"

"you already cut me too deep."

"i think i'm dying here, man!"

"the police are on their way. what are you going to tell them?"

"peer pressure. i'm far too sensitive."

"i'm going to rip you up, bitch."

"there are certain RULES that one must abide by in order to successfully survive a horror movie. for instance, number one; you can never have sex."

"sex equals death, okay?"

"never, ever, ever under any circumstances say, "i'll be right back." because you won't be back."

"i'll be right back."

"see, you push the laws and you end up dead."

"you hang up on me again and i'll gut you like a fish!"

"do you like scary movies?"

"what's your favorite scary movie?"

"my name isn't jesus."

"i never thought i'd be so happy to be a virgin."

"careful. This is the moment when the supposedly dead killer comes back to life, for one last scare."

"EVERYBODY'S A SUSPECT!"

"i wanna see breasts."

"if you were the only suspect in a senseless bloodbath - would you be standing in the horror section?"

"this is life. this isn't a movie."

"it's all a movie. it's all one great big movie."

"that woman was a slut-bag whore who flashed her shit all over town like she was sharon stone or somethin'."

"maternal abandonment causes serious deviant behavior."

"it certainly fucked you up."

"it made you have sex with a psychopath."

"i don't really believe in motives."

"you're not a virgin. now you got to die. those are the rules."

"it's a scream, baby!"

"it's called tact, you fuck-rag."

"you are much prettier in person."

"who am i? the beer wench?"

"fairness would be to rip your insides out and hang you from a tree so we can expose you for the heartless, desensitized little shits that you are!"

"i will totally protect you. yo, i am so buff, i got you covered, girl."

"well, you're not going to be alone any more, right? if you pee, i pee. is that clear?"

"wait, i thought we were going to go out."

"i didn't kill anybody."

"i ought to gut your ass in a second, kid."

"it's all part of the game."

"why don't you wanna talk to me?"

"how does it feel to be almost brutally butchered?"

"i am two seconds away from calling the police!"

"if they make a movie about all this, who would play you?"

"what do I have to do to prove to you that I'm not a killer?"

"you make me so sick. your entire havoc-inducing, thieving, whoring generation disgusts me."

"never, ever, under any circumstances, assume the killer is dead."

"prank calls are a criminal offense prosecuted under penal code 653M."

"i'd let the geek get the girl."

"bitch, hang up the phone and star-69 his ass!"

"you can't blame real life violence on entertainment."

"life is life. it doesn't imitate anything."

"hey, you'd better check your conscience at the door sweetie. I'm not here to be loved."

"no matter how hard you try you'll never be the hero and you'll never ever get the girl."

"i'm gonna get some donuts, some prozac; see if i can find some crack."

"how do you know that my dimwitted inexperience isn't merely a subtle form of manipulation, used to lower people's expectations, thereby enhancing my ability to effectively maneuver within any given situation?"

"if she's not a killer, she's a target."

"just wait until the trial. it's gonna rock!"

"it's not wise to patronize me with a gun."

"now i'm gonna do what any rational human being would do and that is to get the fuck outta here."

"stupid people go back! smart people run! we're smart people, so we should just get the fuck outta here!"

"why do you always answer a question with a question?"

"drink with your brains, that's our motto."

"i am gonna fucking kill you! FUCKING KILL YOU! you are dead! DEAD!"

"don't you know history repeats itself?"

"no, it's not just a movie. it's a true story."

"can't we just go back to our pseudo-quasi existence?"

"psychos can't kill what they can't find."

"god why don't stop your whining and get on with it. i've heard all this shit before."

"why don't you take some fucking responsibility?"

"i know what it's like to see ghosts that don't go away, to be watching a scary movie in your head, whether you want to or not, watching it alone."

"dude, i think she likes me. did you see how she was looking at me?"