So... I didn't think I would make this post, but I wanted to share this on here.
I've been bisexual for nearly seven years, but it didn't feel like it was actually for me. I had a long preference for women a very long time and it always has been. The reason why I decided to be bisexual is because I was afraid of fully being out as a lesbian.
But, like all say, 'New year, New me', I decided to give that a go and finally come out.
The first person I've ever came out to was my mom who is also my first supporter. She was always there for me in my worst moments and helped me a lot with my mental health. She's also the only person in my family to come out to as bisexual, which she supports. She's basically like my best friend.
I felt nervous coming out as a lesbian to her because I thought the reason why she accepted me is because I also had a preference for men (which I don't anymore). But, I was more worried about coming out to my dad. Now, he's more of in a conservative side since he grew up in that environment where anything in the LGBTQ community was a 'sin'.
I was basically up all night to recite how I'm going to come out to my family that I didn't know it was morning.
So, when it was just me and my parents, I decided that right there is when I'm going to tell them everything. I started off by asking them if I changed one thing about myself, would they still love me. Once they shared their answers by saying "Of course we will," I dropped the bomb.
"What if I told you that I'm a lesbian?" The moment I asked that question, I saw their expressions change. Yep, this is it. There's no turning back now. "Yeah, I'm a lesbian. I like women. I know you two want me to go off and marry a young, nice man, but I-"
"Who said you had to get married to a man?" That question came out of my dad's mouth. His question shocked me down to the core that even I forgot what I was talking about. "Wait, you're not... you know? Mad?" I asked him, dumbfounded, still trying to recover what he just said. I watched him speak again, "Why would I get mad at you? You didn't say anything wrong. I mean, I knew you were gay, but I'm just a little surprised that it took you this long to say it."
I looked over at my mom who was smiling, even wider than before. She only leaned forward to where I was sitting and embraced me tightly. "You don't have to worry about anything. We'll always be by your side," she tells me in a reassuring tone that a mother should have.
At that moment, I felt myself breaking down. Not actually yet, but I did feel tears falling from my eyes. Holy shit, I'm actually crying. But also, I never knew that my family would respond in this manner after finding out that their oldest daughter is gay. This wasn't what I was expecting at all...
With the confirmation of love that I got from them, I was confident enough to come out to people whom I'm close with. My little sisters, my close friends, even to the people I became friends with for my final year in high school.
But most of all, you. Everyone here who came across my page.
I really do feel happy about who I am now and how I'm sharing this with all of you. For a long time, one of my biggest struggles is how I'm constantly looking for my identity that'll stick with me for the longest time. And after almost seven years of this, today was the moment that I feel true to myself and now, I'm permanently marking this as this is who I am.
I want to thank all of you for sticking around with me, and basically giving me that love and support that I didn't expect. Everyday when I get on here, I always think about you guys and how you made this a place called home for me.
Home where I feel the love that you give me.
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