The Pompousest Pimpous @pimpouspompous - Tumblr Blog

One of the machines broke down at the hyperbole factory. The situation is frustrating, but ultimately manageable.

It just started working again! This is the best day ever!

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funkyfeefee

The thing about American "leftist" comedians is that they aren't actually leftist, they are the Imperial Court Jesters. They stand on a stage, point directly at the blood-soaked gears of the war machine, make a little tee-hee noise, and the crowd erupts. Not because they are critiquing the machine, but because the laughter is a pressure release valve for the people inside it. Take the video of that stand-up asking the defense contractor if she helped Trump bomb those 160 Iranian school girls, and everyone laughing, including the contractor herself. That laughter is ritual absolution. The contractor laughs because she knows she will never face a tribunal. The audience laughs because they get to feel "self-aware" without having to actually stop anything. The joke doesn't condemn the contractor; it humanizes her, turns her into a lovable scamp who just happens to have a job graphing the velocity of shrapnel through children's bodies. By making it a punchline, the comedian sanitizes the atrocity. The blood is scrubbed off the stage. The audience gets to say "wow, we are so edgy for talking about it" while the person who builds the bombs gets to chuckle and order another drink. It is not satire, it is a team-building exercise for the empire.

Then there is the YouTuber talking about Transformers, casually dropping the "Iraq war aesthetic" like it's a color palette. Desert punk. Military core. A vibe. This is what happens when your country hasn't had a war on its own soil in living memory; the violence becomes media, a backdrop for childhood toys. The explosions are no longer the sound of mothers screaming; they are cool action sequences. They are digesting the visual debris of massacre as a nostalgic fashion choice, scraping the trauma off and compressing it into a genre for their retro-futurist fantasies. The apocalypse becomes a mood board.

And finally, the girl recounting celebrity love triangles from her childhood, flippantly mentioning how the U.S. was "busy with the Iraq war or whatever." Or whatever. That single phrase is the thesis statement of American innocence. Over a million dead, a region destabilized for a century, an endless river of grief; and for her, it was the commercial break between pop culture segments. It didn't raise her rent. It didn't stop her Wi-Fi. The violence is geo-locked to brown skin and distant deserts, just background noise like a refrigerator humming. She has the luxury of forgetting because the machine doesn't eat her children, it eats yours.

Americans don't hate the machine; they love the output. They hate the mess of it. So they turn it into jokes, into aesthetic, into "whatever." Because if they stopped laughing, if they stopped scrolling, if they actually looked at the 4K drone footage of the aftermath instead of the cool explosion CGI in their movies, they would have to realize that the lithium in their phones, the gas in their tanks, and the comfort of their suburban cul-de-sacs are all greased with the fat of foreign children. And they can't handle that. So they laugh. They turn it into a vibe. They call it "the Iraq war or whatever." You can't deconstruct the master's house with the master's jokes, especially when the punchline is the corpses holding up the floorboards.

amygdalae

I absolutely adore dogs but I think dog haters are (usually) more justified than cat haters wrt their reasoning

amygdalae

your average cat hater: I don't like how they r bitchy and ignore me/ won't let me manhandle them

your average dog hater: I have been mortally endangered by an ill-trained dog

soapkid

estrogenesis-vaporeongelion

bunnycuriosity

Shit man, this bunny war is fucked. I just saw a bunny clap his paws together and say "the ten hays" or some similar shit, and every one around him was surrounded in hay, loafed on the ground, and then started eating. The camera didn't even go onto him, that's how common shit like this is. My ass is casting flop and level 2 binky. I think I just heard "power word:thumper" two groups over. I gotta get the fuck outta here.

uncollaredcat

reblog to make your tits bigger and more gropeable

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jerico3193

frizz01percy

this should be the most reblogged post on tumblr before it dies

xan-thos-blog

We need to reblog this so much that the post breaks

bittymoonbear-deactivated201807

Do not like

secret-unicorn-sierra-blog

Keep. Reblogging.

dawn-machine-official

If we reblog enough we could save it

vwidjojo

Reblogged at 1.7 M notes

weirdo09

reblogged at 1.8M notes

earhartsease

how did this lose over 5k notes

cybermax

I’m glad we cost Yahoo 2 billion dollars.

cybernetic-divinity-deactivated

it’s like a perfectly preserved body at Pompei

jjsbizarreadveyj

Finding this on my normal dash is like taking a stroll through the Park and suddently stumbeling upon the Codex Hammurabi just lying there.

transarsonist

This post has about 10% as many reblogs as there are active users.

tilthat

TIL in 1915, San Diego hired a “rain maker” who used a secret mix of chemicals to “attract rain” for $10,000, payable if he filled their reservoir. It rained for most of January, destroying bridges, dams, and causing 20 deaths.

via reddit.com

armedandgayngerous

that was the Devil

general-thinks

I mean they wanted rain

northerlygale-deactivated202307

His name was Charles Hatfield and I’m not saying that you shouldn’t make a deal with him, but I am saying that you should be very clear about the terms and conditions

prokopetz

I think we need to fully appreciate the fact that the reason he “looks like the Devil” is that many depictions of the Devil in American popular media are specifically caricatures of this guy. Like, imagine being a con man and fucking up your hustle so badly that for more than a century afterwards people start drawing the Devil to look like you.

rslashrats

rainintheevening

Okay, we got a new one, boys.

officeshelpdesk

由于中国世纪已经到来，我现在只会用（可能写得不太好的）简化汉语来发帖。

officeshelpdesk

有一天，我们都会回首往事，大笑起来，不过，我们会以一种明显的中国方式大笑。

officeshelpdesk

当有人谋杀“South African Pedophile Hitler”时，我会回去用英语发帖

discord-the-app-offical

No clue what you’re saying but right on brother

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hazardousyuri-deactivated202510

me when i get one (1) note on tumblr dot com from my beloved mutuals: they lovme❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏😭😭❤️❤️😁😁😁😁😁✨️✨️☝️☝️☝️☝️😁😁👅👅👅👅👅👅👅💜💜💜💗❤️‍🩹❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥🫂🫂🫂🫂i love them 😁😁😁❤️❤️❤️❤️💜💜💜 f ried n

gerardwayspostcocaineweightgain

it’s actually wild how terrified of the general public most usamericans are. like you don’t realize it if you’re someone who mostly walks and takes transit and spends a lot of time in populous public spaces but then you talk to one of the thousands of people that seemingly never set foot in any public space besides a parking garage or a starbucks and you suddenly understand why it’s so easy for fascist rhetoric about the dangerous alien to take root. this country’s median voter pretty much never interacts with strangers who aren’t their coworkers or people they met on dating apps

gerardwayspostcocaineweightgain

saw a post on instagram that was literally someone citing statistics saying public transit is one of the safest travel options out there and the comments were literally just “ummmmm op this is so ableist and misogynistic of you :) don’t you know the average public transit user is a dangerous violent criminal who wants to set you on fire :)))”

gerardwayspostcocaineweightgain

it must be so terrifying and sad to go through life convinced if you set foot outside your car in public or interact with people outside your nuclear family you’ll instantly be raped and robbed by the Evil Poors no wonder so many of these people are reactionary tar pits

gerardwayspostcocaineweightgain

important points which I did not address but should be appended ☝️☝️☝️☝️

gerardwayspostcocaineweightgain

ITT:

- people giving their life story to explain why they have a special secret valid trauma reason to be a reactionary tar pit

- white true crime women assuming I don’t know what it’s like to fear rape

- fascists calling me a euroslave

- cybersmith, for some reason

64mpg

i’m on onion rings right now

64mpg

get me my keys NOW

marinella-ela

the-frightening-ghoul

ㅤ

paperandpencilsandskips

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hyzenthrae

you are required to be and act anti-racist

hyzenthrae

thinking and hoping you're not racist isn't enough. i am talking specifically and especially to white trans people whose political ideology and differing axis of oppression makes them feel immune to racially motivated missteps and behaviors

hyzenthrae

and im suggesting firmly and with pain in my heart that apologies must start and end with "i'm so sorry to have done this. i recognize what was done and will work to do better." and at no point must your apology be accepted in order to continue a working relationship/comradeship/solidarity, at no point does your continued ":( i just feel so bad" matter to me or any other person of color

you have to process your feelings about doing a racism separate from the persons or people you did the racism to. you do not offload the labor to the affronted. you do not assert what your "intent" was repeatedly or ask for help from the hurt

fandoms-most-parentified

I’m Getting Adopted By… WHO? (tumblr parent poll round 1 poll 17)

Bilbo Baggins - The Hobbit

pukicho - Tumblr

Voting ended onJun 19

Propaganda under cut

pukicho

Come on now. He would prioritize the ring. I would prioritize my child.

pukicho

That is no way to talk to your father

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