I was a few months into college, and everything was going well (aside from my broken leg from freshman welcome week. That will be a different story). My roommate was pretty chill and all that, but he had one weakness which crippled  our potential friendship. He was the horniest son of a bitch I have ever had the displeasure of being around. I mean, if it was human and had a vagina, he wanted to stick his dick in it. I try to limit my judgement of people to behind their backs, and because he tried to do it when I wasn't around, we didn't have much of a problem. But then along came Amy(This is a fake name to protect the innocent and all that). Amy was the girl down the hall. Honestly, she was probably better looking than him, but she had this weird habit of constantly changing the volume of her voice while speaking, which was a big turn off, if you were not a big fan of being verbally bombarded in conversations. Long story short, she wanted my roommates dick. Now he knew she was kinda crazy, and also that she was a virgin, so he didn't want to mess with that (because sex and not crazy girls were to priorities for him). Unfortunately, after two weeks without sex, he couldn't handle it anymore. So yeah, it took him only 5 days of masterful horny foreplay to get her in the sack for the first time(I know the timing because I was good friends with her roommate and we gossiped a lot about them). Well, beside the fact that the sex was so convenient with them living in the same hall, I wasn't too much displaced. But then came the smell. My room started to smell disgusting. Post-sex musk is one of the worst smells the world has to offer. It was like two musk oxen copulating in a dung heap. It was like the hibernation cave of a bat colony. It was like a Mexican fish taco stand in a third world country with abysmal preservation and sanitation techniques. To make it worse, winter was coming, so the window was always closed. This means they were hotboxing that shit. Another long story short, after exchanges of words, and me raging like Nicholas Cage, I ended up moving down the hall. The whole hall was on my side, of course, and Amy and my ex-roommate became a running joke of the hall, which made them butthurt. We never really saw them again after that, although the first week after I moved out, I walked past my old room. The door was open because the cleaning people were in there. My ex-roommate had put the two beds together into a master sex bed for creating horrible smells worse than Satan could imagine. I'm glad I left that hellhole. Moral of the story: your roommate can be cool, or a douche, and you should just deal with it unless his activities smell like explosive diarrhea after too much Indian food.
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