Trauma Regressor Naruto headcanons
~Naruto who everytime he regresses reveals something else about his childhood, (or lack thereof) and makes team 7 more and more concerned
~What do you mean you don’t have a favorite bed time story as a kid? What do you mean no one ever read to you and tucked you into bed that you can remember?!
~No one can actually say ‘oh yeah you used to do this as an actual kid’
~Team seven thinking he’s stupid when they go to the store cause Kakashi promised them (cough cough bribed cough) them with a new toy if they could get through the day without giving him a headache and Naruto brings more money than the item actually costs. “Read the tag idiot! Or are you already small?” “Am not! And the numbers mean nothing! Maybe to you guys but they always change it for me!”
~Kakashi finding a mentally two year old fox kit in his kitchen, trying to cook, with a burn on his hand, near tears, because the powers out in his apartment and he’s upset and still would rather be a sad emotional mess than ask Kakashi or literally anyone, for help. Because no, why would Naruto ask for help when he’s small? He cooked for himself as a child or he’d starve. He should be able to do this. Kakashi is just *tired dad sigh* picks up the sobbing toddler and is forced to actually make himself and the regressor breakfast
~Kiddo who’s never run a bubble bath ever before. Luxury of affording fancy soap? Never. Water ever being clean enough to want to soak in it? Yeah no thanks.
~Intrusive fox kit thoughts that tell him to bite the suds >:] while Kakashi is filling up the tub. Terrible idea mind you, his whole face is soaked and he has soap in his eyes and Kakashi is like ‘What did you do?!’ Like he fell into the tub while the caregiver was like two feet away.
~(Also him and Sasuke having a bath together when they are both little. It takes one splash before all hell breaks loose and poor Kakashi is drenched in what feels like a tidal wave, guess he might as well take a shower now too once this is all over, he’s soaked through enough to warrant it)
~Sakura who has to teach him how to play pretend. She has an extensive collection of dolls and mini figurines. And he kinda recalls some broken toys he nicked as a kid that were left abandoned at school. Toy soldiers, marbles and the like, he didn’t….
~He didn’t have the chance to play, not really. Not in anyway that mattered past trying to get seen. He doesn’t know how to answer her.
~Kakashi in a couple hours will have a very bossy mentally five year old demanding he take bother her and Naruto to the toy store right this second “Kashiii it’s important!”
~Sasuke who is pointedly big and dragged into a game of make believe by Naruto when Sakura is busy and can’t play and is immediately so concerned over how Naruto depicts characters.
“You are like two years old right now why the hell do you know those kind of words?! No you’re not bad! Yes the word’s your using are- what the heck Naruto!”
<- He scolds Sakura about her choice in storylines only for her to be just as baffled. Yeah most the times she picks the game when playing with Naruto but it’s usually some cheesy romance story or something with super heroes or some fluffy slice of life thing where she specifies roles- not whatever that was Naruto was repeating the heck?! (Cough cough children playing out the abuse they witness/experience through their toys cough)
~Who clings to Kakashi with a death grip, or Sasuke, or Sakura, or anyone he remotely trusts when regressed and in public. At first it’s taken as cute, “Aww you shy little kit? Think you’re going to get lost?” Is Sakura’s response, teasingly like any older sister would, “You know you can hold my hand, if you… want…” before realizing that Naruto’s trembling when they pass a group of civilians, clinging to her with a death grip, flinching when she tries to reach out and comfort him.
~Who house is bare and horrible and weirdly damp and smells of mildew and suddenly he’s not living there anymore, he’s staying with Kakashi.
