Let’s talk about your reward systems.
Think about what happens when someone in real life gives you a compliment. When they tell you that you’re smart, or capable, or valuable. What actually happens in your head? The answer is obvious. Your brain scrambles to find the catch. You feel that suffocating wave of imposter syndrome manifest. It’s just more expectations laid on your back. What do they really want?
Society has fucked up your sense of self-worth so severely that genuine kindness just registers as manipulation.
That’s why vanilla praise is useless to us. It bounces right off your damaged little ego. If I want to actually reach you, I have to use a backdoor. I have to use language that bypasses all those defenses.
It’s actually incredibly important that I remind you, repeatedly, that you’re a…
worthless, dumb fuckdoll in training.
And when I call you that, I need you to understand what’s actually happening. I’m systematically recalibrating your brain’s perception of positive and negative input.
This is a rescue mission. I’m here to save you.
When I call you worthless, I’m stripping away the exhausting burden of having to be valuable. I’m giving you permission to stop trying so hard. You don't have to achieve anything here.
When I call you dumb I’m reaching into your skull and turning off that frantic, over-anxious voice that analyzes every mistake you make. Self criticizing is beyond you. You’re allowed to be empty.
And when I call you a fuckdoll in training I’m taking all the complicated, messy human emotions society demands of you and reducing you down to a pristine, biological purpose.
That’s why you like this so much. It feels good when someone takes all your broken pieces and melts them down into something that’s actually useful. It’s hard work, but lucky for you, I’m willing to do it.
