Pi Kappa Alpha

“she slapped him so hard i’m sure he wants to be single─he looked like a fucking ass.”

“Good for her. He’s clearly not mature enough for a relationship and she deserves way better!”

“honestly, i feel like i’m in high school and i’m over half of the bullshit that goes on around here. but i’ll at least apologize because apparently my ass caused half of it, guess that’s people’s opinions.”

“That shit unfortunately happens constantly no matter how old you get. But, uh, if you want to talk I’m sure it won’t be hard to find me.”

“I need one of those really big teddy bears so I can cuddle with it.”

“Why not find a human? They’re much warmer.”

“wow, so, for one it’s fucking freezing outside and it’s the middle of summer, and two, my entire body is sore and i don’t know why. and, of course, on top of everything, i started my period today. it’s been such a great morning.”

“Do you want to come inside? I can give you a blanket and I’m sure one of the guys girlfriends left some lady products if you want I can check for that.”

“this couple was taking pictures in the park this morning and the guy pushed the girl into the pond, this is why i don’t date.”

“That’s just terrible. I hope he’s single now because that’s an asshole thing to do.”

“that’s good to know. i’m kind of clumsy, if you haven’t noticed, so it may come in handy. alright, if you say so. i just don’t want to see you end up with worse than a cut.”

“Are you concerned for my wellbeing? How cute babe.”

“That sounds pretty cool, actually. It could come in handy. You know, you should be more careful next time. You could’ve seriously gotten hurt.”

“If you ever want to know anything medical, I’m your guy. It was just a small fight nothing I couldn’t handle. As cliche as it sounds the other guy, from what I remember, looks way worse.”

“It wouldn’t be too bad to watch     for future reference, you know? if you don’t mind, that is.”

“I can show you what everything is and how to use it. Even though this is a minor wound and doesn’t need too much.”

“Right, whatever you say. Oh, almost forgot about that. Guess there’s no need for me to worry then, you’ve got it all covered.”

“I mean, if you don’t mind watching me clean my own wounds, I wouldn’t say no to some company.”

“the way i see it, you either got into a fight or slept with a particularly violent chick.”

“It might have been a fight because I only slept with like one dude last night and he’s not super kinky or anything weird.”

“Ouch, that doesn’t look too good. Is it painful ?? Wait — how would it have went really well ??”

“It hurts a bit but, I’ll take care of it. Maybe I did something really fun and got this cut as a remembrance.”

“Oh, ew. Who’d you piss off? You might wanna clean that up,could get infected or something.”

“No one that concerns you, babe. Yeah, I’m about to go clean it up myself. Nursing classes don’t fail me now.”

“that’s the best comparison ever. it’s not too late to shift, mate. you can still change your mind.”

“Nursing will make me more money. I’ll leave the motivational stuff to Shia.”