P♊on♊c.

ju2t two humor you, ii took a 2elfiie wiith iit.

check iit.

Happy human “Valentine2 Day”, wherein ♊’m told you’re 2uppo2ed to 2end card2 and dre22 up like human… 2hit, ♊ forgot what the2e were called. They’re kind of like Fidu2pawn, but not?

2o hey. Enjoy, mini me. ♊ expect you to adopt thi2 co2tume when you get bigger, by the way.

——-

piippiin, ii thiink ii can’t get more done wiith you than ii already am. holy fuck. ii’m laughiing 2o hard ii think you’re goiing two kiill me wiith the amount of riidiiculou2-o2iity enca2ed iin thii2 card.

and no, no, ii wiill never wear that.

you can’t make me.

ju2t two humor you, ii took a 2elfiie wiith iit.

check iit.

♊’m having a pretty great night 2o far actually. Well, ♊’m in a good mood right now at lea2t. 

Glad to hear thing2 are holding up decently on your end. Perhap2 you 2hould let your2elf kick back for a while, eh?

11 D0 PL4N 7W0. 11N F4C7 11 4M 0N MY W4Y TW0 R3L4X47IION 42 II 7YP3 7HII2.

11 D0N’7 MIIND 7H3 QU327IION 4T 4LL C: A B4RK3NTIIN3 II2 A 2HIIP 0F OLD 7H4T H4D 7HR3E M4272 4ND D43D4LII2T II2 4N 0LD W0RD F0R A PIILO7.

Oh my fuck. That i2 the be2t face ♊ have ever 2een. Al2o that'2 intere2ting, prop2 to you for being creative and intere2ting. 

11 4M D0IING QU1173 W3LL 4211D3 FR0M 83IING 711R3D.

♊'m having a pretty great night 2o far actually. Well, ♊'m in a good mood right now at lea2t. 

Glad to hear thing2 are holding up decently on your end. Perhap2 you 2hould let your2elf kick back for a while, eh?

<You find that odd but deign to leave it alone, stepping inside with a thankful nod.>

Thank2, 2ound2 like a pretty 2weet arrangement.

<Except the bee thing. Y’kn- shut up, you’re leaving it.>

2o what do you think of Cu2tard? A2 in, a2 a nickname. Not the 2ub2tance. But for rea2on2 to do with the 2ub2tance.

<You count your reasons off on your fingers, extending one and tapping it with a finger from your other hand, and repeating for the rest.>

Plus iif II leave them somewhere else… well… they could get bothered wiith people they do not liike comiing over and II’d rather avoiid that.

> You sigh closing the door before tilting your head hearing the nickname, a smirk on your face

IIs thiis all you’ve got? Really? 

> You snort

And no, that'2 not all ♊'ve got, but-

Well there you go.  Cu2tard it i2 until ♊ think of 2omething better. Maybe ♊'ll make a nickname from your nickname and call you Cu2. Eheheheheh.

Well you’re already dead 2o what con2equence2 do you have to 2uffer. Or, uh, do ♊ have the wrong info?

Fuck your comrade2. Not literally. Really though, 2crew peer pre22ure. ♊f you like them, give tho2e oppo2ed what-for. ♊f you want to change them for your2elf that’2 a different 2tory.

Not really, ♊'m fairly 2ure at lea2t 78% of iteration2 of Ro2a ♊'ve met have berated me on my ae2thetic choice2.

... Come to think of it, 2o have probably 80% of people in general that ♊'ve met.

But ♊'m pretty 2ure the problem i2 them.

Look pal, the only bulge2ucker around here i2 you! ♊ 2ugge2t you 2urrender before 2omebody get2 hurt. Or 2omething dra2tic happen2.

No, Pippin W♊N2. ♊ win, ♊ win, ♊ win, Damara 2uck2 bulge!!

<You find that odd but deign to leave it alone, stepping inside with a thankful nod.>

Thank2, 2ound2 like a pretty 2weet arrangement.

<Except the bee thing. Y'kn- shut up, you're leaving it.>

2o what do you think of Cu2tard? A2 in, a2 a nickname. Not the 2ub2tance. But for rea2on2 to do with the 2ub2tance.

<You count your reasons off on your fingers, extending one and tapping it with a finger from your other hand, and repeating for the rest.>

Yeah, thank2 for coming. ♊ don’t know how you deal with a wiggler. ♊ certainly couldn’t do it. ♊ can hardly take care of my2elf. Eheheheh. 

And you fucking know what? ♊ have a 2ecret for you. You’re a bulge 2ucker. Al2o a little 2hit. 2till love you though, ♊ GUE22.

deal wiggler...damara love little. make deal worth. pippin watch little soon!

<She begins to laugh hysterically as he tickles her, kicking her legs and curling up into a ball as best she can, squealing and pushing her horns against his chest.>

<Oh geez, this is ridiculously adorable and he's grinning widely, at risk of chomping down on his bottom lip, not that that would be a new thing. He may have several bruises by the end of this, but it'll be worth it. He snorts as he watches her, then, when she's all curled up and made herself small, he stops and curls around her, laughing into her hair.>