sorry im fat 👉👈

Sure! I'm going to put a trigger warning on this post for in depth discussion of self harm and self harm methods--please approach with caution!

A harm reduction plan for dealing with self-harm can look like many different things, but it's basically any plan for coping with self-harm where completely stopping self-harm is not the main goal. A harm reduction approach to self-harm recognizes that self-harm is a coping skill that people start using because it does meet some need, even if it also causes other problems or the benefit begins to get outweighed by the harms. Harm reduction can help you slowly start to work to understand what that underlying need is and work to meet it in other ways, without demonizing you for doing what you need to survive. Harm reduction can be an important way to take care of yourself and make some less risky choices, even if you're in a situation where you're not ready or not capable of stopping self-harming. Everyone's individual needs will look different, but there's several categories that can be good to consider if you're wanting to make a change in how you approach your self-harm.

One category is frequency. When you're actively struggling with self-harm, it can become really addictive. A harm reduction self-harm goal around frequency might look like making a goal for reducing how many times you self-harm per day, week, or month. Instead of traditional coping plans for self-harm where any instance of self-harm is seen as a relapse and might bring up feelings of failure, goals about reducing the frequency of self-harm might allow you to achieve positive changes that you feel good about, even if you're not stopping completely. For some people, it might help ease into doing healing work that requires a lot of emotional energy and processing, as you will still know that you have access to old coping skills and might not feel as bad about still being in a position where you're using them. It also might help you continue to feel committed to healing when relapses do happen, instead of seeing relapses as a catastrophic moment where if you're going to break your streak of days clean, you get into a "fuck everything" mindset and use riskier behaviors.

Another category is severity. We might not be ready to give up self-harm completely, but reducing the severity of the self-harm method we use might feel like a more accessible way to reduce the risk and take care of ourselves. This can look like making the effort to make more shallow cuts instead of deeper ones, less severe burns, or banging our heads on a surface that is softer. This can also look like switching from a more dangerous method of self-harm to a less dangerous form of self-harm. Even things like snapping a rubber band against your wrist instead of cutting could be considered a harm reduction approach to self-harm!

Another category that I like to focus on is environment. This is sort of a broader category that I like to use to focus on what other types of risk-reducing behaviors you can take. This can look like making sure that you always clean and sanitize your blades, that you have appropriate first aid materials and take care of wounds, that you only self-harm while sober, that you make sure the physical space you self harm in is clean and sanitized, that you tell a support person when you self harm or let someone else help with wound care--any of these things are things that could reduce some of the harms of self-harm. This could also look like setting up intentional self-care practices to use after you self-harm, whether it's sensory items, journalling, cuddling with an animal, using therapy coping skills, or distracting yourself.

A harm reduction approach to self-harm doesn't have to be restricted to the things I've listed above, and also can include goals about completely stopping self-harm! If you're in a place where you feel ready to stop completely, harm reduction might still be an helpful framework for considering how you want to engage with your self-harm urges and help you understand what path towards stopping self-harm feels most easily accessible.

I'll share what my personal harm reduction plan looks like. At different times during my life, my harm reduction plans used to be a lot more focused on reducing frequency and severity while still leaving room for regular self-harm. Now, my plan is with the goal of not using self-harm. However, if I do end up in a situation where I am using self-harm, my harm reduction informed goals are that: I use clean supplies. I self-harm indoors while sober. If I'm getting urges for a much more dangerous form of self-harm, I will let myself use cutting as a less risky form of self-harm. I practice safe wound care and leave a certain amount of time for those wounds to heal before self-harming in the same place again. If I self-harm more than once in a week, I let a support person know and ask for help with accountability.

My advice for anyone who's interested in taking a harm reduction approach to their self-harm is to embrace education and self-inquiry. Education about things like safer cutting and burning, anatomy, and wound care are really important so that you can actually know the risks and know what steps you can take to make things safer. I think self inquiry is also a good step to take when you're making any sort of coping plan. Really looking at your individual situation and figuring out what things seem the most achievable, what role self-harm is playing in your life, what triggers are connected to your self-harm, how you feel before and after you self-harm, how you want to feel, what parts of self-harm feel helpful and what parts you don't like. This can be a great thing to do with a support person if you have someone who you feel like can help you process this and give their perspective.

Here's a link to a google drive folder full of zines and workbooks about self-harm harm reduction. Trigger warning for continued discussion of self-harm, self-harm methods, anatomy, some mentions of suicidal ideation, and a photo of self-harm scars in the Icarus project zine.

Last thing I'll say is that it's okay to start small and give yourself the compassion to embrace where you're at. If reducing the frequency seems too hard right now, trying to always use clean blades is an amazing step! If changing anything about the way you self harm doesn't feel achievable, adding emotional self care into your self harm routine is still a win. If you never get to a place where you feel ready to stop completely, that's okay too--any and all steps you're taking to reduce the risk are so important and are worthy of celebrating.

now, i want to add a trigger warning: for any not disordered transmasc that somehow stumbled upon this, please do not read. we face so much as it is, you do not want an eating disorder on top of that. also, this might trigger your dysphoria, be careful

tw over~

⭐ not having to wear your binder, your chest is so bony and thin you pass shirtless

⭐ strangers gendering you correctly, even if you're not on T

⭐ fitting into clothes from the boys' section and everything from the men's being oversized in an adorable way

⭐ your face being so sharp and masculine you can't help but stare at it in the mirror

⭐ your hands, once feminine, now veiny and thin, rings slipping off them

⭐ your feminine curves being replaced by skin and bone

⭐ any hairstyle fitting you and complimenting how thin your face is

⭐ never being treated like a wierdo again - you're so gorgeous and thin now, everyone loves you (and is worried about you, but isn't that what you want?)

⭐ guys (or girls) that were once way out of your league wanting you

⭐ looking exactly as good as, if not better than, the skinny guy that always gives you gender envy

Benefits of Daily Exercise Include:

Weight Management

Reduce Your Health Risk

Strengthen Your Bones and Muscles

Improve Your Ability to do Daily Activities

Increase Your Chances of Living Longer

The Workout:

Easy to do while laying in bed, and won't take more than 15 minutes. You can do this when you wake up, and won't have to worry about the rest of the day!

20 Leg Lifts on Each Side

15 Crunches

45 Second Pigeon Pose

20 Crunches

10 Leg Lifts on Each Side

30 Russian Twists on Each Side

All done! Easy, right? Now you've done your exercise for the day, and you didn't even get out of bed! ♡

Weight Lose Exercises

less than 1/2 cup oats (180 kcal)

the rest of almond milk (aprox 27 kcal)

one teaspoon of sugar (17 kcal)

the half of a banana (44 kcal aprox)

sometimes i add a tbsp of chia seeds (50 kcal)

and vanilla extract but it had like 6 kcal per a 100 ml so i dont rlly think there’s much in the little splash i pour.

total: 298-248 kcal (with n without the seeds)

idk if im doing it right bc im pretty much new to all of this but i wanted to share anyways (rn im trying to have less than 800 if i can but it varies so much on the day)

(i made two portions ,16 pieces in total, the calories are for 8 pieces, about 30 per piece)

okay first of all…sorry that i was gone so long! depressions got a bit worse and i also found some new hobbies that took a lot of my attention but i try to post every once in a while:)

and nowwww these kinda icecream bars are actually soo good for the summer i absolutely love them!

you need:

-60g of fruit (doesn’t really matter which one, couls change the texture tho)

-2tbsp of yogurt (i used skyr) |22cals|

-2tsp coconut oil |90cals|

-1tbsp cream cheese |90cals|

how to:

just combine everything in a blender,blend until snooth and then just freeze for about three hours:)

i made mine with strawberries and blueberries and i must say that the blueberries made the whole thing a bit more „icy“ becaue they had more juice!

i let them freeze overnight but 3hours should be fine as well:) i also think a chocolate kind would be tasty.

so-called 'naturally skinny' people simply just eat less. whether they know or not.

i miss back when i was 13 and was like that.

i was always skinny, this wasnt because i had an insanely high metabolism, but because i just ate less than i did when i developed depression. i would eat lunch and dinner when it was put in front of me and didnt bother to look for snacks in the day.

that 'naturally skinny' friend who has the biggest meal of everyone when you go out to eat, had a snack for breakfast and forgot to eat lunch

that 'naturally skinny' coworker who eats all day, has a few bites of a snack at a time.

that 'naturally skinny' cousin says he ate a bag of crisps, only had three crisps then forgot about the rest.

but people are so jealous of their 'insane metabolisms'

its an illusion, i promise.

I feel like maybe I have more muscle and I'm not sure I like it 💀

Low calorie dinner- roasted zucchini 50 calories

With sriracha mustard sour cream (sounds gross but it’s acc good)-50 calories

- Cut a medium zucchini in half lengthwise and then slice into 1/2 centimetre slices (34 cals per medium zucchini)

- Add whatever spices you like, I used red Thai chilli spice blend and added garlic and onion powder as well as salt and pepper( they say no cals but Im rounding up the zucchini from 34 to 50 Incase there is a few)

- Put on baking tray covered in tin foil (my tray has a rack that sits on it so the food doesn’t stick because it isn’t touching the tray and you won’t need oil which is really high in calories for a small amount)

- bake for 15 minutes at 375

- mix your sauce up (add 1 tbsp light sour cream-25 cals, 1tsp sriracha-5 cals, 1 tsp mustard- 5 cals, a few drops of honey- 15cals)

Total dinner cals 100 :)

Suppppper filling just ate it and it’s my first meal today and I’m stuffed so try this If your hungry but in restriction

Servings: 6 - 124 kcal/7g protein per heaping 2 cups full 

1 medium head of cauliflower, about 600 - 700g / 1.2 - 1.4 lb (Note 1)

For the broth

500g / 1 lb zucchinis (2 large), peeled and cut into 1.5cm / 3/5" slices

1 large onion , roughly chopped (brown, white, yellow)

2 garlic cloves , whole

2 cups (500 ml) vegetable or chicken broth

2 cups (500 ml) water

1 cup (250 ml) 0% fat milk (or other milk of choice)

½ tsp each garlic powder and onion powder (or 1 tsp of one of them)

Pinch black pepper

For the soup

1 tbsp olive oil

1 garlic clove , minced

1 onion , chopped (brown, white, yellow)

2 large carrots , cut into 1.25cm / ½" pieces

3 celery sticks , cut into 0.75cm / ¼" slices

2 red capsicum / bell peppers , cut into 1 cm / 2/5" pieces

500g / 1 lb zucchinis (2 large), peeled and cut into 1.25cm / ½" slices

1 tsp dried thyme (or other herb of choice)

Salt and pepper

Finely chopped parsley , optional garnish

CAULIFLOWER

1.  For soup - Break off ¼ of the cauliflower into small bite size florets and put aside to use in the soup.

2.  For broth - Break up the rest of the cauliflower into medium florets. If you have a small cauliflower, use the stem too - peel then rough dice.

BROTH

1.  Place cauliflower for broth in a large pot. Add zucchini, onion, whole garlic cloves, vegetable broth and water.  (Note 2)

2.  Place lid on, bring to boil then adjust heat so it’s simmering energetically. Cook for 15 minutes or until cauliflower is soft.

3.  Transfer to blender (Note 3), add garlic powder, onion powder, pepper and milk. Place lid on, place tea towel on lid and hold down very firmly, then whizz to puree soup, starting on low then getting faster.

4.   Remove lid. Marvel at super low cal ultra creamy soup broth.

SOUP

1.  Heat oil in a large pot over medium high heat. Add onion and garlic, cook for 1 minute. Then add carrots and celery, cook for 2 minutes.

2.  Add thyme, capsicum and zucchini. Cook until softened, around 2 minutes.

3.  Pour in soup broth. Adjustment consistency with water to achieve desired thickness. Add reserved cauliflower.

4.  Simmer 5 minutes to bring flavours together. Season with salt and pepper.

5.  Serve, garnished with parsley. Or splurge your calorie credits on a piece of grilled cheese to dunk into the soup!!

RECIPE NOTES

1. Cauliflower - diameter of about 25 cm / 10", about the size of a basketball ( <– The weird way I measure veggies!). Don’t get too hung up about accuracy of size, there’s flex in this recipe in terms of soup thickness.You could also use 500g / 1 lb frozen cauliflower florets - reserve about ¼ for the soup and use the rest for the broth. Cook from frozen, use per recipe.

2. Liquid won’t cover veggies - that’s fine, it gets jostled about when boiling and also steams.

3. Work in batches if your blender is on the small size. Also, stick blender will work here but because it’s not as powerful, the soup won’t be quite as silky smooth. Also, I suggest cooking the vegetables for an extra 5 minutes to make them even softer.

4. STORAGE: This keeps very well in the fridge for up to 4 days. It also freezes very well!

so like. if we talk about aesthetic body preferences, there's a problem because mine (for both self and others, all genders) is like...1 or below (mayyyybe also 2?) on body size rating scales such as this one, which is not only stupidly unhealthy to want, but also literally fuckin impossible because I possess bones and have, like, broad shoulders and shit and that is literally not a shape my body can take on ever. I can never be "small", no matter whatever fucking reason I consider that so desirable anyway.

and so I tell myself this one is workable if we try to reduce its femininity, and after all, this is in fact preferable for that purpose. taller than almost 100% of women is great! it makes it that much less likely someone might mistake me for one! proportionate width isn't bad either! (tbh it's the width that bothers me, I like lanky) shoulders are great!

whereas smallness is associated with femininity, particularly thinness and some sense of 'fragility', and should probably thereby be less desirable?

but ofc that's not good enough. and well, my ed shit doesn't have body image as anywhere near a core element, but,,,,, it does start getting restless when it hits a certain amount of deviation. I've never gone very far in weight gain, but I expect it scales, probably greater than linearly.