possessed by printmaking

maid 1: poison her

maid 2: yea poison her

maid 3: i have a connect on some really strong untraceable poisons if you want

me: girls she makes me try all of her food before she eats it how am i gonna poison her

maid 1: put it in her mouth while she sleeps

maid 2: ^this. worked like a charm for my sister

maid 3: yeah dm me i have a bunch of techniques that might work

maid 4: have you tried seducing her? maybe she just needs to have her heart warmed so she may show you the kindness you deserve

maid 2: MARY

maid 1: cmon mary

maid 3: just because YOUR lady has sex with you doesn't mean everyone's lady does

me: no wait she does like to put her fingers in my mouth to check if i swallowed her food. and i'm pretty sure she squeezed my ass once

maid 4: yeah exactly. message me i can tell yoy more

maid 3: whatever. if you need the poison just hit me up

maid 5: girls do you know how to get wine out of satin

maid 1: how recent is the spill

maid 5: a few days old

Highlights include:

For your first two years (when you were small) you lived in a foster home with people who raised you into a very polite young man. Two is like you plus me, that's what two is.

Some people adopted you before me and they called you Timmy (which is a stupid name) and they returned your ass almost immediately because you were so annoying at that age.

Like think about how annoying you are right now at seven years old, but way worse.

I'm better than them though, I don't call you Timmy and I wore earplugs to bed for three years because you love to scream at bedtime. Earplugs are like when I roll over and go back to sleep even when you are yelling so so so loud.

I got you at a time in my life when I was really sick (being sick is like when I'm up late because I'm throwing up and you are a very handsome good boy who sits with me) and they had to put me asleep for a procedure. A procedure is like what happened to you when they put you asleep and took your balls away.

11 pm thought: unfortunately the sad but logical reality is that he is straight and just kind of a weird freak and also a misogynist but it's still beautiful how romantic his obsession with his best friend is and how its psychosexual nature haunts all his creative work