Young man

that one ‘’i heart pizza’’ shirt that makes you pull pizzas out of your ass when you dance

Me today

you *buy* your flour? you don’t grow your own wheat and mill the grain on your water turbine stone…. thingy? tsk tsk.

one sec i gotta google some shit

yeah this is funny

(nominative determinism is the theory that people gravitate towards occupations that fit their names, like how usain bolt is a sprinter)

You can mail eggplants to people from a couple different websites, if you just do a quick search of “eggplant mail”

*exports you as a jpeg* *and turns the quality waaaaay down*

too many people see evolution as just animals becoming better animals when the truth is that theres a species of boar that evolved to die because its tusks grow into its skull because the males with long tusks fuck the most

himbofication of the animal kingdom

I loved this part in Death Stranding

I hate how on Tumblr, a username like lisa486 is almost certainly a pornblot, while someone named solidsnakesasscheeks is almost certainly a real person

I could be a porn bot if I wanted to