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One of my all-time favorite Jin Ling moments was when he realized that his crazy homo uncle (who may or may not be the Yiling Patriarch) was trying to get with Lan Wangji—one of the only adults Jin Ling actively fears and respects. And after enough Wei Wuxian-specific shenanigans, Jin Ling’s reaction to all this, which had initially been, "cutsleeve? more like cut that shit out," eventually morphed into, "okay this is HANGUANG-JUN, buddy, you cannot fuck around and find out with this one. You gotta LOCK THAT SHIT DOWN if you're going to sleep with a man that famous. Look at me, put a ring on it immediately, he's too good for your slut ass do you hear me—”

me when my shizun reveals that i was meant to be a bloodthirsty, lust-driven monster who bedded three hundred women and never loved a single one of them and who could scarcely separate my own desires from that of my sword and who hoarded more and more riches for happiness i couldnt buy and accumulated so much blood on my hands i couldnt ever wash clean and i was bitter and lonely and vengeful but even so, he loved me. he loved me so much he died cursing the gods for making me unhappy. he loved me so much he transcended worlds to come make me happy. there was an evil overlord demanding he be cruel to me, and despite that, he gave me medicine, he smiled at me, he pat my head and believed in me and loved me. he came from a world with no cultivation nor swordfighting, yet he protected me. it was probably scary and he had no one to confide in, and i made it so much worse, i misunderstood him, trapped him, hurt him, and yet he loved me. he loved me so hard he resewed the threads of fate and rewrote my destiny, are you fucking kidding?

"Be not afraid" you say to the startled angel as you crawl out of its shower drain. It doesn't know how you got there, or whether you know what those words mean. It doesn't like the thought that you know that you frightened it. Maybe you've just heard those words before and assumed that that's just the sound you're supposed to make when you greet someone.

there should be a pill you can take one time that will shrivel up your uterus and abort it through one last horrible period

Nobody who has seen this has ever forgotten about it.

Nobody knows if writing a story is possible

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.