Pichapie_s

Nightwing, pointing to a fallen henchmen: Hood, care to explain why is he bleeding from the head?

Red Hood: Don't worry, he's just unconscious. I hit him with a bat

Nightwing: Hood. I don't think-

Red Robin: Wait, with a bat or with a Bat?

Red Hood: For fucks sake. A real bat, like a wooden bat. I didn't throw the gremlin if that's -

Red Robin, now just being a little shit: A wood bat? Like, a wooden batarang?

Red Hood: No, you ass, like a- Wait. Do you think we could do it? Change all of B's batarangs for wooden ones?

Nightwing: Guys...

Red Robin: I mean. Probably? There must be a glaze we could cover the wood to make it stronger right?

Red Hood: And with Ivy covering Gotham in trees every month or so we could find the material easily

Robin: It has the benefits of also being biodegradable

Nightwing: Okay I need the focus back to the bleeding-

Red Hood, nodding: Right, sustentability is trending these days

Red Robin: But we would still need metal ones. What if there's a fire? Also, we can't throw wooden batarangs at Ivy, this is like, throwing dead bodies at a person

Nightwing, now getting interested too: You're right, throwing wood at Ivy would only make things worse, she would get mad and at the end we would only be giving her more ammo since she controls plants and all

Red Hood: So what, half of the batarangs should be wood and the other half metal?

Oracle, who had been listening this since the beginning: No, the proportion wouldn't fit. We haven't been fighting Ivy that many times these days, and with the right coating the wood could become fireproof. If we made everything right, about 10% of the batarangs would need to stay metallic, but the rest could be made of wood.

Robin: We would need to find a way to make the weight right. Unbalanced weapons are more of a liability on the field, doesn't matter how much of a improvement it becomes on other areas

Nightwing: We could try adding some metallic alloy to the glaze, not enough to cover it, but just so the weight between the two isn't so different

Red Hood: But a metallic alloy wouldn't mess with the biodegradability of the thing?

Oracle: Not if it's something natural and unrefined, it's a bit crass but it would work

Red Robin: It's a plan then.

--

A few months later,

why the Corinthian is like that.

and it’s brilliant! it’s really cool. so in a series absolutely crammed full of very realistic queer representation– lesbians and bisexuals and trans people of all kinds!– you have morpheus stating outright that nightmares are meant to teach and challenge dreamers, by bringing subconscious fears to light, where they can be faced and overcome.

and the Corinthian has mouths for eyes. he devours eyes. he eats what people use to look at him like that, and what he used to look at people consumes them.

and he’s gay, he is a creature made by and for gay men, by personal preference all his victims are gay men, and being gay can be fucking terrifying. his eyes are mouths that eat those eyes that don’t look away from him in time, because he is the absolute mortal terror of knowing that the gender you’re attracted to–your own gender!–is extremely likely to kill you for looking at them. decades, centuries, of men looking at men and knowing this could kill them. eyes meeting eyes and wondering if this ends with the man you can’t stop looking at coming and kissing you or coming and killing you. in the eighties there was AIDS and there were more queers than ever coming out and saying ‘no, we’re here, look at us, we’re dying, look at us, we’re alive anyway, look at us.’

you’re gay in a world where that’s not okay. do you close your eyes? do you pull them out? you like to look at men. you can’t stop looking at men. you love them and they scare the hell out of you. some of them might love you. some of them will kill you. you keep looking. who’s looking back at you? can you survive it?

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

To: Bruce Wayne | [email protected]

From: Michelle Baum | [email protected]

Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Twitter

Hi Bruce,

I appreciate that you took my advice last week and shared a "common interest" with your many Twitter followers! It appears that you've gone viral again, which is not exactly what I was expecting but is something we can work with!

I was a little surprised when you went off-schedule and posted about the broken glass, but it's important for the public to see you're as fallible as the rest of us. I would just reiterate that it's crucial to interact with members of the press politely.

But we've already gone over your interactions with the press and how you should respond to argumentative replies (remember to turn the other cheek). This week I would highly encourage you to seek out one of your peers and engage them in a conversation. You can choose from a wide range of topics. Let's find a fun, lighthearted way to make the public interested in what you have to say!

I look forward to reading your friendly exchange!

Once again, I highly encourage you to send a draft to me before posting anything.

Best,

Michelle Baum

Gotham Public Relations Representative

Blue Ribbon PR Award (2018, 2020, 2021)

-

Bruce frowned at his phone. One of his peers? Alfred? Selina? Who else was there? This was ridiculous. And if she thought he’d be sending her any kind of draft—

"Hrgh," he said when Dick landed on his shoulders. "Robin. Did you get the evidence from Gordon?"

"Yeah and he gave me a Tootsie Roll Pop.” Dick kicked his heels against Bruce’s chest, unheeding of the fact that they were over ten stories up, perched on an old wooden water tank. "What're you doing?”

"Civilian business," Bruce grunted. "We should head home. It's a school night."

"Aww, B, you're no fun!" Dick whined next to his ear.

"If you stop arguing I'll get the booster seat out and let you drive the Batmobile."

“I dunno…still kinda boring,” Dick said, still unconvinced.

Bruce hummed. “I’ll ask Alfred to make grilled cheese sandwiches when we get home.”

The kicking against his chest started up again. "Heck yeah, B, you're the best!"

Bruce sent his tweet and swept off into the night. He knew exactly which one of his peers would love to hear from him.

-