And death i think is no parenthesis.

@kohlrabisabi​

NONE of this would be happening in the Berenstein universe

when i die, cremate me and put my ashes into the pepper shakers at my favorite restaurant

what the fuck

(it’s red lobster)

goblin hour is every hour when your are. a goblin

How do people just seem to gloss over how Gwyneth Paltrow is an antivax essential oils mom who runs a holistic healing company that scams people for their shitty health products

honestly it is SO goddamn funny whenever some straight man calls me a whore or a bitch or something like girl you think that shit hurts my feelings? my closest friend once told me i dressed like an accounting major going through her 2nd divorce while trying to get her oldest stepchild to call her once a month. THATS a real insult. try harder.

I love this post because one time my younger sister told me I looked like a turtle from one of the Ice Age movies and since then nothing has cut me deeper than that

yea that’s him :/