Family and Commerce

{Hello hello all! I have done something a little impulsive, but I hope this will be helpful in the long run, haha.}

{I literally just made it like less than an hour ago, but I now have a personal blog! I felt like it would be a good way for me to like, keep giving y'all life updates without having to spam my roleplay blogs every single time. And! It will mean that anyone that doesn't care about my IRL stuff can just not follow this blog or keep an eye on it and they'll be just peachy~ I hope to get it like, fixed up and stuff eventually, but I am not going to rush it. It's going to very very slow going.}

⚅— Update Time! —⚅

Alrighty, guys, so. In the background of me trying to work through my chores and find a good schedule again. I think this whole thing is gonna be a major work in progress. Because! I am trying to really hammer down on my mental health and create a life for myself that is routine, disciplined, and fulfilling! Which means overall I'm going to get a lot less time online, but! It might actually work out being more time by comparison because instead of getting up every two seconds to do something else I'll have like, one single hour in the day (or half hour? I haven't worked it out yet) where I do absolutely nothing else but computer stuff. Which means I won't get as much done as once as I usually do, but I'll at least definitely get something done because I won't sit down, write two words, and then just leave the computer for three consecutive hours afdaeka.

“I feel… wicked.”

“But, I’m not that girl.”

“I’d like to raise you high.”

“I am a sentimental man.”

“Good news! She’s dead!“

“You’re gonna be popular!“

“No one mourns the wicked!”

“Is it true you were her friend?”

“Believe me, it’s hard to resist.”

“There’s no fight we cannot win.”

“It’s clear we deserve each other.”

“No good deed goes unpunished.”

“There’s a kind of a sort of… cost.”

“Unlimited. My future is unlimited!”

“Let us be glad. Let us be grateful.”

“Listen to me. Just say you’re sorry!”

“I don’t even know what I’m reading!“

“And though I may know, I don’t care.”

“Say there’s no future for us as a pair.”

“Life’s more painless for the brainless.”

“Wonderful. They called me wonderful!”

“I know, that’s what makes me so nice!“

“Kiss me too fiercely, hold me too tight.”

“Those who don’t try never look foolish.”

“Don’t worry, I’m determined to succeed!“

“How I hate to go and leave you lonely…”

“There are wonders like I’ve never seen!”

“I’ve got one more night left, here in town.”

“How do you stand it? I don’t think I could!“

“Why think too hard when it’s so soothing?”

“Go and hunt her. And find her. And kill her.”

“And if I’m flying solo, at least I’m flying free!”

“I think everyone deserves the chance to fly.”

“I need help believing you’re with me tonight.”

“So, what’s the most swankified place in town?”

“Well, it depends on what you mean by ‘friend’.”

“And you felt sorry for me. Well, isn’t that right?”

“And let’s face it, who isn’t less fortunate than I?“

“Isn’t it nice to know that good will conquer evil?”

“I hope you’re happy! I hope you’re happy, now!”

“I know I’m who I am today, because I knew you.”

“But you’ve got me seeing through different eyes.”

“The things one hears these days… dreadful things.”

“Does it surprise you I got hooked, and all too soon?”

“Was I really seeking good or just seeking attention?”

“Well, if that’s love, it comes at much too high a cost.”

“Don’t dream too far. Don’t lose sight of who you are.”

“I’ve lost all resistance and crossed some border line.”

“One more disaster I can add to my generous supply?”

“I really hope you get it… and you don’t live to regret it.”

“Sure, I meant well… well, look at what well-meant did!”

“People are so empty-headed, they’ll believe anything!”

“And I will be loathing, loathing you my whole life long!”

“Don’t wish, don’t start… wishing only wounds the heart.”

“I’ll make every last moment last as long as you’re mine.”

“Many years I have waited for a gift like yours to appear.”

“I think I’ll try defying gravity. And you can’t pull me down.”

“Believe me, I’ve been kicked out of enough of them to know.”

“I’m through accepting limits ‘cause someone says they’re so.”

“I’m through with playing by the rules of someone else’s game.”

“No! No! It’s because, because… because you are so beautiful!”

“I’ve heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason…”

“Something has changed within me. Something is not the same.”

“Now that we’re friends, I’ve decided to make you my new project!”

“But, that doesn’t soften the ache we feel when reality sets back in.”

“Can’t I make you understand you’re having delusions of grandeur?”

“The trouble with schools is, they always try to teach the wrong lessons.”

“Are people born wicked? Or do they have wickedness thrust upon them?”

“Don’t be offended by my frank analysis. Think of it as personality dialysis.”

“My wildest dreamings could not forsee lying beside you with you wanting me.”

“Why couldn’t you have stayed calm, for once? Instead of flying off the handle?”

“There are bridges you cross you didn’t know you crossed until you’ve crossed.”

“Just to clear the air, I ask forgiveness for the things I’ve done you blame me for.”

“I hope you’ll save at least one dance for me. I’ll be right there. Waiting. All night.”

“Somehow I’ve fallen under your spell… and somehow I’m feeling it’s up that I fell.”

“As terrifying as terror is, let us put aside our panic for this one day and celebrate!”

“Unusually and exceedingly peculiar, and altogether quite impossible to describe…”

“Where I’m from, we believe all sorts of things that aren’t true… We call it  ‘ history ‘.”

“I hope you’re happy how you’ve hurt your cause forever! I hope you think you’re clever!”

“I’m limited… just look at me, I’m limited. And just look at you, you can do all I couldn’t do.“

It was true, the ceremony was one of the most lovely she had ever attended. And yes, the food was honestly some of Tifa's favorite. It was a nice change from sector seven, even when food at home carried that extra bit of charm that made it home. She took his words and thought for a moment, nodding along with the sentiment. She quickly nodded when he offered his name and bowed in return as she introduced herself. "Tifa Lockhart!" She may have said it a little too loudly after her drinks, but it didn't matter much. "It's a pleasure."

Her eyes bounced from him, to the people dancing along with the live music that surrounded them. She sighed, almost longingly, but it wasn't normally like her to just jump out and take the stage. Though, she smiled and hummed along to the music as she continued conversation with her new acquaintance. "Have you been married?" She dared to ask after another sip of the drink she held. "I don't know if my own wedding would be this big, but it's nice to dream. I think my style would be a little quieter, but I applaud the couple!"

Byron opened his mouth to answer her when she quickly changed the subject to the food. Dodging. She was nervous. And it was with a quick bit of frustration that he wondered who brought her here and chose to immediately just dump her while they went off. Why was she, a perfectly pretty young lady who very clearly had such a good attitude, left to sit here on the sidelines and make idle conversation with old men?

In lieu of a response to the new question, Byron reached past her and pulled up a glazed, jelly-filled pastry, holding it up with a raise of his brow to indicate it as his favorite. Then he leaned against the table and proceeded to take a rather dainty bite from it, not even so much as getting crumbs in his beard. It was a far cry from his usual eating habits, but he wasn't going to make a pig of himself in certain company.

"I have not ever been married, no," he said after finishing up that bite, talking casually as if he were discussing the weather. "My brother is the heir to our family name. And I am just the pleasant extras. Heh, I was given all of the freedom a young man could ever desire, due in part to the sacrifice of my poor elder brother. And what did I do with it? Marketing. Well, and war. But in all of those years I simply never found any woman who made me feel the way all of those ballads say you're supposed to. I don't suppose I even know what love is meant to feel like."

It was a smaller wedding, and the monk hadn't known the couple that well. She had seen them around town time and time again, but nothing more than shallow conversation in passing. She was surprised to have been invited in the first place, but seeing as other members of AVALANCHE were here, she wondered if they were involved in that business. She had spent a good chunk of the evening sipping at the bar, too shy to take to the dance floor alone. Yet, the decor, the words shared from the bridal party, the setting -- she still loved all of it.

She held her half finished drink with one hand as she turned to the man she now conversed with. Would it have been appropriate that she might've known the couple through AVALANCHE. Shaking her head -- probably not. "I've seen them around town here and there," she admitted loosely. "I'm just a plus one. They know the couple far better than I do."

"I am merely a business partner of the groom," Byron replied, a thin smile on his lips that found comfort in their shared distance from the couple. "I barely know them at all myself, if I'm being perfectly honest. That certainly doesn't take away the charm of the affair, however. The ceremony was as beautiful as one might expect for this setting, and the food, so far, as been rather enjoyable. It can be a bit isolating, though, am I right? Being so distant in an event like this. Oh, but where are my manner? Byron Rosfield, my lady."

He nodded. There was no contest between which parent he listened to more. His mother was there for him, and his father wasn't. Joshua didn't really understand it, not in a way beyond being able to note the simple facts of what was there. He was always gone, and likely for something important, but that still left his children alone with only their mother for guidance. For Clive, it meant being ruled over by someone watched for every mistake he made. For Joshua, it meant being sequestered and kept away from anything that could be considered a poor influence.

Byron raised a brow, surprised at the question. He had stood and saw the day that Joshua had blessed him, so surely he must have understood at least the basics of that situation... Still, perhaps that wasn't the real question being asked here. Not the mechanics of it, but rather the purpose of it all.

He was just a child, but Joshua wasn't blind to the unfairness of it all. He wasn't deaf to the whispers either, to the rumors that Clive must not have been fully his brother or else he would have been born with the Phoenix instead.

The rumors that Joshua was little more than a mistake.

Joshua didn't fight it when his Uncle lifted him up. It wouldn't be long before he grew too much, that he was too tall, to big to be carried so easily. One day - but his future was one that was never guaranteed. Every day that he woke up with a fever, every night that he struggled to fall asleep with an ache in his chest, was just another reminder of how easily his life couldn't slip away from him.

"We could only be so lucky..." Byron lamented quietly, mostly to himself. "But regardless, that is the traditional role of the dominant of the phoenix. However, that should surely be some time away yet, and you have plenty of years left ahead of you to learn. I won't blatantly go against your mother's decisions– she is your mother, after all– but I'm not always going to have my eyes on you, now am I? You could get in an awful lot of mischief when I'm not looking."

A short wink to help better infer that Joshua could do plenty of watching the battles and training when Byron was the one in charge of him, something that the man knew Anabella was adamantly against. She wanted to shelter her son from the vulgar world of violence, but Byron knew all too well that the world was hardly soft enough for him to not have to get involved at some point. And while he was sickly now, Byron had hope that he would grow a little stronger every day, until he could hold his own even in the toughest of battles. That he could make his people, and himself, proud.

{Eventually I'll be able to give you guys a good update, but today I must unfortunately give another bad one.}

{I'm beginning to come to terms with the idea that maybe I'm just a little too exhausted for Tumblr, and new developments have more or less guaranteed it. So basically, we thought we had finally found a good house, but the sell fell through. So we have to keep looking.}

{This whole house hunting thing is really wearing us all out. But I recently started a diet and exercise plan to try to lose some weight and I am in so much pain and I'm so cold every single day that this doesn't help me with the already low energy problem. The past few days I've been putting videos on and sort of... Just turning into static between phone alarms and doing chores? Mentally I have not been present at all, and any time I try to actually write I lose focus a lot. Eventually I just lay down and pass out.}

{But all this complaining to try to explain that I really am trying to do stuff I just... Can't seem to get the gears turning up in my head and my arms hurt a lot to be typing anyway. I think I'm going to stick to mobile for a while.}

{I want to do twewyversary stuff, but I just don't have the energy. I'm hoping over time the exercise will actually give me energy instead of just hurting me and I can come back stronger than ever.}

{I might do a super late anniversary thing later, but yeah. Just gonna rest between stuff and maybe I can very slowly reply? Idk. I don't want to even look at my phone if I'm not logging food or exercise right now.}