what even is life

I contain multiple dudes or whatever the poet said

i think that when god made stealing a mortal sin he didn’t know that walmart would ever exist

I have a lot of pet peeves but I think the biggest one is when people say things like “oh it’s such a small town, only 35,000 people” like bitch my town has 200 people, you need to pick a new adjective 

According to Wikipedia, a small town is 1,000-20,000 people. So although you are correct in stating that 35,000 people is not a small town (it is a large town), you are incorrect in thinking that you live in a town. You live in a village. You are a villager.

I…… don’t know what to do with that information……a villager…

Carlisle being 23 is unfathomable but make no mistake: being a 23 year old in a group of 17 year olds you ARE the father figure. I'm baby, but if I found myself suddenly in charge of a bunch of high schoolers my maternal instincts would shoot to the surface like a beach ball from the bottom of a pool

DAAaHRLINg,

Y’all be like “this is why nobody takes feminism seriously anymore”. Literally show me a fucking era where men took women’s liberation movements seriously?

Maybe it’s for the best that Donna and Twelve never met because I’m pretty sure their interactions would’ve resulted in a chaotic dumbass energy echo chamber where they’d be like “oh yeah let’s go steal an EXTEMELY cursed object from a well-gaurded museum while inexplicably dressed like cowboys that just so happen to have incredibly loud spurs on their boots” without pausing for even a moment to think of how that might, in fact, be a bad idea and they should at least change shoes first

Now you might say, “wait, I think Donna acted like The Doctor’s impulse control, wouldn’t she calm the situation down?” to which I reply “She was Ten’s impulse control in terms of his impulse to be shitty or self destructive, HOWEVER, when Ten fought off a giant lava monster in Pompeii using a water gun and gusto, her response was not ‘oh my god what the hell are we doing’, but ‘I bloody love you!’. This woman THRIVES on chaos.”

include both men & women of color in your action films and not just men of color and white women 2k19 and 2k20

no offense but that ep of jimmy neutron where they start working at a burger place and jimmy’s the janitor and he sees a pack of salt on the floor and says “oh it’s sodium chloride” he should have been fired just for saying that

[id: tweet by buffalocialism reading “if you have so many prisoners that you have to deny them the right to vote because they would significantly impact election results, the main substantive problem is that you live in a police state”]

i like gay people don’t beat them up

Real life. The concept you’re thinking of is going outside.

yeah ok buddy I’m just gonna step outside and go talk to my neighbour the talking cat. the fuck kind of real life are you living?

I’m going to fucking lose my mind this is peak political cartoon art

Thank fucking god for plumbers who are willing to go behind their corporate bosses’ backs and be like “yeah don’t pay the 150 dollar emergency fee just gimme 40 bucks under the table, also, don’t buy a water heater from us, my boss will charge u like 800 bucks. go to Lowe’s and ask for a Scratch n’ Dent, they’ll give you for like 200 bucks. Call me tomorrow and I can install it for you in like an hour” wow… solidarity

I cannot express how much I would rather slip one workperson 40 bucks directly into their pocket for doing me a solid by not making me get ripped off by his bosses, like…….. thanks bro