emo phil

had to come back to tumblr to genuinely ask what the hell was that pokémon thing. 4 arms?? only so many holes???? where am i fuck

this is a serious question i’m asking what made phil say that

when i tell you i audibly gasped at the phodcast reveal. most insane bait and switch ive ever seen in my whole goddamn life.

📢 it's 🍆🎃🍆COCKTOBER🍆🎃🍆 and the 💿PHODCAST🎧 is 💦💦CUMMING💦💦 are YOU🫵 ready✅ to 🥵HARD🍆 🚀LAUNCH💥 every🔁 MONDAY🗓️ MORNING 🌄?? real 💦PHAPPERS💦 grind🍑 EARLY🕖 before the 🐓COCK🐓 crows. it's time to get 🧱BRICKED🧱 UP for our 👬DADDIES👨‍❤️‍👨 DAN🖤 and PHIL💙

phil is so nuanced & fascinating. horrible liar who loves lying. can’t lie well about things that matter (16-year relationship) but finds endless delight in spreading whimsical misinformation (tablecloth boner prevention). i want to live inside his beautiful mind

i hate to say hes the most relatable man

we need to get off the sea son or there’s a man in the room daughter

my only meaningful contribution to the period sync conversation is that people on birth control can more or less control when in the month they get their periods (if you decide to do it with the like, week of ineffective pills or w/e). i don't know if phil would be on birth control because well... about that. but if phil has a consistent enough cycle and dan is on birth control then dan can synchronize his cycle with phil. and phil is like omg our cycles are synced by fate and dan is like no it's because i would always find you in every life etc etc and so does my uterus. like my uterus found you in this life phil. is this anything

what im actually saying is dan and phil should be paying US. they're HARVESTING OUR CONTENT that we make for FREE and MONETIZING their reactions to our LABOR. phanticapitalism baby read up on pharxist pheory, the Phommunist Phanniphesto, Das Phapital