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@philosophybutch

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how is the weed you found on the ground treating you
i, tjejhuc fuicklc9i fuick fuckle
THE THING
You’ll never forget it
1967 / Mark
Me when I insist I don’t need to write it down

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this is one of my favorite onion articles because it is so real
like the premise seems so absurd but then you start to read it and
Gibson’s descent into the depths of mustard obsession started innocently enough, when he got involved in an Internet exchange about the best kind of mustard to use on a grilled bratwurst. When someone posted a link encouraging him to “click on this if you really want to spice things up,” he took the stranger’s advice and suddenly found himself on MustardMonster.com, a discussion group devoted to the cultivation, preparation, and enjoyment of the table-side condiment.
“I immediately realized I was out of my league,” Gibson said of his first encounter with the Internet’s do-it-yourself mustard community. “At that point I had maybe three different kinds of mustard in my refrigerator, but when I looked at their forum topics, these guys were talking about the strengths of unique varieties of imported mustard seeds, brewing your own vinegar for mustard-making, ways to improve store-bought mustard when you find yourself in a pinch. That…that was the start of what I now call my ‘lost year.’”
It was only when Gibson started getting angry, even enraged, by mustard-related issues that he started realize he had become entangled in a dense, thickening web of mustard obsession.
“I saw my wife putting French’s mustard on a bologna sandwich for our 5-year-old son, and I just lost control,” Gibson said. “I said things—awful things that I’m not proud of—and the two of them were clearly shaken. I can never take those words back. When I looked in the mirror and barely recognized that livid face staring back at me, I finally understood that these mustard people weren’t really my friends.”
“baking sheet?” holds so much weight
Please make home economics mandatory again.
In terms of like, Please For The Love Of God Get Hobbies That Aren't Scrolling Through An App For Six Hours A Day, I understand and experience completely the argument of like. with the stressors of modern work, you don't have the energy at the end of the day to do anything but mindlessly watch Netflix and scroll through your phone. but like I would like to gently encourage you to simply force yourself for a time to do something instead of pick up your phone, bc the phone is literally designed to light up your brain with no effort from you whatsoever and it does in fact rot your brain. It makes literally anything but scrolling on your phone seem difficult and joyless. But if you stop scrolling on your phone all the time, and start like, reading or embroidering or gardening or going for walks, you will eventually find the joy in them once more
I understand and it is true that it is hard to have a life outside work and scrolling but there is not a near future where that won't be the case and you should still live a life. And you won't create a future where that isn't the case if you don't have the confidence and experience and drive to fight for it

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Why did they pick her
she knows how to party
sorry i just love this picture it goes so much shes so aggressive and its like 3d its like shes coming right at me
I don't want any more people criticizing or making fun of mascs/butches/studs for being "needy", for being "babies", yeah, they are babies, what about it? I'll baby them until the day I die. What's the problem? Do you want a cuddle? Do you want me to play with your hair? Do you want me to help you out with your outfit? Do you wanna just snuggle and not talk about anything? Do you want to talk about your problems? I'm here to listen. Do you want me to read to you until you fall asleep? Do you want me to cook your favourite meal and get to watch you be all happy? Come here, I've got you
.men don't touch this.
happy kiss your mutual monday btw. if you even care.
need a full body massage a margarita 400mg of ibuprofen a plate of brownies at least an hour in a jacuzzi and 20,000 dollars cash

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Remember, only have sex for character development.
If it doesn't move the plot forward, don't have sex
chekhov’s gun is both a blessing and a curse because i think it’s so heavily over applied to all forms of media when really it was, for the most part, describing a very specific thing (stage design) in a very specific structure (anton chekhov playwright fuckery) and is too often used as a litmus test for how good a narrative is when really it’s just a statement about including things that matter in what you write, regardless of where those things end up having obvious uses (the gun firing in the second act) or not (the gun demonstrates how unsafe an environment the space is without ever needing to be fired). on the other hand appending “chekhov’s” to any element that appears in a story other than a gun is so fucking funny