Stranded In Not-Spain

//No worries, I'm Dealing With Life and also slow!

Aspen checked the records. "Ah yes, your egg is ready to hatch. And it's a peculiar but popular one --"

Your Egg Hatched Into EEVEE

But when they get their retribution, it'll be fun to have another Ghost-type wandering around the woods

I do wonder what you'll become! A Ghastly? Phantump? Yamask?

I'm not supposed to interact with people who have dark, ghost, fairy, or psychic types because those pokemon are dangerous and only dangerous people own them usually.

Like, come on, what is this? the 1860s-2?

Are we gonna go frolicking into beating zorua pups to death because they like playing silly pranks to people, and maybe stealing an apple or two, because they're harder to find when humans take them from them. Are we gonna giggle and dance on top of the corpses of innocent pokémon just because they can learn "bite" or "foul play"?

Let me tell you all something. Pokémon can be mean, sometimes rude, and borderline genuinely evil, like that Ogre of Kitakami... but "good" and "evil" are concepts you humans invented.

We are the only type of creature in this planet who can actually be considered the true "evil"type. We'll trap pokémon in inhumane ways despite having Poké balls, ditch Pokémon into wilderness where they don't belong because they weren't a special color.

We'll drive Pokémon species to extinction for irrational fears, or because we're awful, and not even dark-types, Slowpoke were hunted down for their tails, I have no idea why people hunted Lapras, but they're still a species in recovery.

Pokémon only act out of instinct, if you were really hungry, really cold, and had not eaten in weeks, wouldn't you also try to get anything that's as close to food as you can? Because otherwise you'll die. That's why Poochyena sometimes attack farms in Hoenn or North Kanto-Jhoto.

I've met Trainers who trained their Arcanine to be killing machines which couldn't tell apart friend from foe. A pokémon that's as purehearted as can be, just because a human decided it should be evil, it became evil. It's disheartening to know stories like these, and still have people believe Dark types can be evil, if that's so then I believe we should create a new type:

Until October 22nd 2024, midnight GMT, anyone who reblogs this will recieve LITERALLY ANYTHING, and by that I mean I'll pick something to send you.

It can be something useful, useless, a Deus Ex Machina for whatever problem you're in right now, or just a rabid Pachirisu with a butcher's knife. The possibilities are endless! Don't worry I won't try to (intentionally) harm you guys, I'll probably just pick what I think has the funniest outcome.

REBLOG TO GET AN EGG. A RANDOM FUCKING EGG IN YOUR INBOX IM USING A RANDOM GENERATOR YOU COULD HATCH ARCEUS WHO KNOWS.

You also get a KEYCHAIN of the POKEMON.

(@phantomjokerofhearts, @the-outcast-conman)

----

[You can hear some birds of some sort squawking in unison, as well as a familiar voice screaming for them to hurry up]

[Looking up, there's some sort of skytram, except it's not attached to anything and is being flown through the air...by the squawking flock of birds]

(He stares confused for a moment only to squint at the tram and finally see)

"HELLO DOWN THERE, KID, I'M TRYING TO GET THESE STUPID POMPADOUR BIRDS TO HURRY UP--"

[the taxi driver behind him coughs and interrupts]

"Sir, please stop insulting my birds--"

[the taxi lands, and the driver quickly hops down to open the door, looking like he wants to be rid of his passengers as soon as possible.]

"THISISYOURSTOPPLEASELEAVENOWBYE--"

[Stan hops out of the cab, and stretches]

Tears slowly build up, blurring his vision as Dipper finally forces his legs to move.)

"Grunklestan"

*She turns to Akira.*

(@phantomjokerofhearts, @the-outcast-conman)

----

[You can hear some birds of some sort squawking in unison, as well as a familiar voice screaming for them to hurry up]

[Looking up, there's some sort of skytram, except it's not attached to anything and is being flown through the air...by the squawking flock of birds]

(He stares confused for a moment only to squint at the tram and finally see)

"HELLO DOWN THERE, KID, I'M TRYING TO GET THESE STUPID POMPADOUR BIRDS TO HURRY UP--"

[the taxi driver behind him coughs and interrupts]

"Sir, please stop insulting my birds--"

[the taxi lands, and the driver quickly hops down to open the door, looking like he wants to be rid of his passengers as soon as possible.]

"THISISYOURSTOPPLEASELEAVENOWBYE--"

[Stan hops out of the cab, and stretches]

(@phantomjokerofhearts, @the-outcast-conman)

----

[You can hear some birds of some sort squawking in unison, as well as a familiar voice screaming for them to hurry up]

[Looking up, there's some sort of skytram, except it's not attached to anything and is being flown through the air...by the squawking flock of birds]

(He stares confused for a moment only to squint at the tram and finally see)

"HELLO DOWN THERE, KID, I'M TRYING TO GET THESE STUPID POMPADOUR BIRDS TO HURRY UP--"

[the taxi driver behind him coughs and interrupts]

"Sir, please stop insulting my birds--"

[Stan look up from his phone and glances over at Akira, who's sitting next to him looking somewhat concerned]

[he nods, pulling out a paperback guidebook to Paldea and flipping through it]

"If I recall . . . there we go, found it. There's some sort of flying taxi we can probably take, we just probably need to head into town to see if there's any around because I don't know if we can signal any ourselves."

[he turns some more pages, this time going towards the front, looking for a map]

[he playfully ruffles Akira's hair]

[behold, confused akira face]

[Stan look up from his phone and glances over at Akira, who's sitting next to him looking somewhat concerned]

[he nods, pulling out a paperback guidebook to Paldea and flipping through it]

"If I recall . . . there we go, found it. There's some sort of flying taxi we can probably take, we just probably need to head into town to see if there's any around because I don't know if we can signal any ourselves."

[he turns some more pages, this time going towards the front, looking for a map]

[Image File: a very confused Stan holding a Meowth in front of him, who is limp in his hands and smiling no thoughts head empty]

(The kid, Akira, helped me take this picture.)

HOW THE HECK DOES A CAT MAKE COINS