Phan Trash

Hello~ I designed some Dan and Phil playing cards because i couldn’t get the idea out of my head. 

Tell me which cards you like best~ :3

waddup

it’s time for me to look back on the wonderful *cough* year of 2016  in memes ☆.。.:* and I NEED YOU!

remember this video?  

well

here is a list of 2016 dan meme moments (that i may or may not feature in the final video) and i’d like you to help me find the best/funniest things they inspired

just look at this list:

the potato sack jumper

Dan’s Documentary/pointless walking

peace signs and how everyone hates them

dan’s camouflage pj’s aka where is he

failing to dab

the ‘weed’ jumper

dan ‘steaming’ aka obviously vaping

the time dan was high at a meetup 

danger men at work

dj howell/dan’s diss track

dan is a furry

choking in general/the kink branding

exposing phil - the cereal stealing

#rubberupfordan

being bullied by teen magazines

the disco ball suit

dan’s missing legs

danisnotonfire over exaggerated youtuber story time

pete wentz unfollowing me thanks to phil

danta claus

bonus - memes recreated for dan eg: kermit/mr krabs/shook nostrils/starter packs/pepe

and if you know of/have made a funny meme/picture/video edit anything inspired by it it then link me to it here and tick a tag box or write the name of the meme from that list in the title/caption! http://danisnotonfire.tumblr.com/submit

NOTE - just linking me to an image you reblogged/liked on twitter is fine! only actually upload an image IF YOU MADE IT originally (lest you be chased through tumblr by an angry mob) i will link to tumblr/twitter posts or credit in the video description :)

you have 24 hours

A Flash Before The Line Gets Blurry - Dan gets dared to date Phil Lester, a guy from his school who only dates people for seven days before breaking up with them.

Title- Teach Me

Genre- Smut

Word Count- 461

Warning- fingering, daddy kink

“Can you get yourself ready for me baby boy?” Phil asks the younger man, his voice deep and raspy as he looks over Dan laid on the bed. Dan blushes bright red at his boyfriends words. Phil throws him a questioning look, is he embarrassed? They haven’t done this before and Phil begins to get anxious, sure they had done oral and stuff, but what if Dan wasn’t ready? He inquirs with him about this, “It’s fine if you don’t want to do this! We never have ro do anything you don’t want to ba-” 

Dan cuts him off as he sits up straight, grabbing Phils arm, “No it’s not that its just… Like I wanna do this, fuck do I wanna do this, I just-” He sighs dramatically before aperantly giving up, “I’ve never, uhm i’ve never fingered myself before,” 

“Well,” Phil says, swiping a hair off Dans neck, “I would be honored to be your teacher” His voice practically a growl by the time he finishes the sentence, making Dan want this even more than he did before. He pushes Dan down as he reaches for the lube, making sure to leave a fresh line of brightly colored hickeys on his pale neck. 

Phil painstakingly inches Dans tight jeans off, his pink boxers rolling off with them. He throws them to the other side of the room as he leaves marks over Dans inner thighs. The brunette is already moaning loudly as he watches Phil lather up his fingers and begins to circle his tight hole. 

“Fuck daddy” Dan suddenly goes quite, his words barely a breath as the raven haired boy finally slips his long finger into Dan. 

“Feel good?” Dan nods his head furiously, his curls bouncing. “Now, when you do this by yourself you’re gonna do it just like I am now, right baby?” Dan continues nodding but is barely paying attention as Phil begins to add a second finger.”This might sting a little bit but it’s to get you all stretched for me” Phil mumbles, knowing Dan isn’t listening from the constant soft moans coming from above him. He scissors his fingers softly, feeling his beautiful boyfriend around his hand as he adds a third and begins moving them quickly in and out of the boy without even thinking about it. 

“Close” Is all Dan can choke out as he fucks himself back on Phils hand, Phil has found his spot and angles the soft pads of his fingers there, liking the short gasps he hears on Dans end. 

Dan cums hard over his stomach and chest, Phil moving up to kiss him slowly, loving Dans blissed out feel. 

“Now you’re ready for me,” Phil breaths into Dans ear, sending a shiver down his spine. 

this is,,,, surprisingly okay?

- Dan was in a funk. Phil peered out at him from behind the dividing wall between the kitchen and the living room, his brows kitted in worry when he saw that Dan had not moved a single inch from when he had thrown himself despondently into his couch crease and flicked on the television. That was almost three days ago.

- Phil smoothed the worry lines out of his face and stepped into the lounge, his steps making more noise than was probably necessary, but he wanted Dan to know he was coming. Phil slid the red, crinkly package into his pocket at the last second, right before he entered Dan’s line of sight. Dan barely even looked up, not even when Phil extended the can of cherry vanilla Coke he held, the kind that Dan loved but rarely found a chance to drink. Dan took the can with a slurred mumble, his eyes not leaving the rerun of Dr. Who Phil knew Dan had seen at least three times before as he popped the tab on the can and drank the entire thing in four long pulls. Phil’s eyebrows pulled back together, and he nibbled on his bottom lip.

- Dan sat forward, barely, to set the can down on the coffee table. He accidentally kicked it over when he sat back and swung his feet onto the table, spilling a few drops of sweet, sticky liquid over the glass surface. Normally, Dan would be all over that shit with seven different kind of cleaner, but he didn’t even blink as Coke seeped into the heel of his sock. Phil resorted to drastic measures, pulling the packet of Maltesers out of his pocket and offering it up. Dan’s eyes slid up, taking in the package and he sighed, softly shaking his head. Phil hoped his startled noise his the sound of his heart shattering into a million pieces.

- “What’s wrong?” Phil asked, sinking down onto the couch beside Dan. Dan shrugged. “Just sad,” he mumbled, turning over and curling up into Phil’s chest.

- “Anything I can do?” Phil asked but he was only met with a vague hum as Dan buried his face in the crook of Phil’s neck, his hot puffs of breath brushing across Phil’s clavicle. He mouthed gently at the soft skin there, and Phil’s breath caught in his throat. “Dan…” he sighed, not really sure what he was trying to say. Dan shook his head, his tongue poking out to lap and suck, his mouth more insistent. Phil went pliant, allowing Dan to suck two large, dark marks into this underside of his jaw before he gently guided Dan onto his back, crawling up his body and kissing him gently.

- “No,” Phil said firmly, as Dan’s hands started to creep down to the button and zip of Phil’s jeans. “This is about you. Let me make you feel good.” Dan hesitated for a moment, but nodded and lay back, allowing Phil to pull of his sweatpants and shirt.

- Dan gasped when Phil’s lips his his skin, starting behind his ear in that one spot and trailing, messy and hot, down his chest and stomach, Phil pausing to pay extra attention to the little bit of pudge there. Dan was by no means chubby, but a life of sitting in a desk chair in front of a computer screen for hours every day really didn’t lend itself to a perfectly toned physique. Phil’s lips skirted Dan’s hardening cock and trailed down his left thigh, Phil scooting his knees back and he leaned further and further between Dan’s legs.

- Six hickies to the pale inside of Dan’s thighs later and Dan was growing impatient, rucking his hips up and bringing one hand down to settling into Phil’s hair, urging him along. Phil consented. releasing the bruised skin from between his teeth and moving lower still.

- Dan arched his back with a soft noise when Phil licked a thick stripe across his entrance, his hand coming out of Phil’s hair to sink instead into the pillows beneath him. Phil used his left hand to hold Dan’s legs apart as he started to eat him out in earnest, trailing his fingers feather-light over the sensitive skin of Dan’s inner thighs as his tongue and lips and jaw worked.

- “Mmm,” Dan sighed, canting his hips up in a slow, unconscious pattern. Phil looked up at him to find Dan looking back, something in his eyes unplaceable as he locked them with Phil’s own. Phil nodded, to the best of his ability, given his current preoccupation, and Dan leaned back, hitching his legs up and freeing Phil’s hand, which wrapped around his cock, jacking loosely. Dan let out a slew of muffled whimpers, his back arching slightly.

- Phil brought his right hand back from its meandering exploration of Dan’s skin, sliding two fingers in along with his tongue on the next thrust in. Dan arched hi back and cried out, his fists clenching and relaxing, clenching and relaxing, at his sides.

- Phil worked Dan over slowly and skillfully, and it wasn’t long until Dan was bucking his hips into Phil’s hand and chanting pleas under his breath. Phil finally gave in, tightening his grip on Dan’s cock and speeding up the thrust of his fingers.

- Phil pressed both fingers into Dan’s prostate at the exact moment he surged up and sucked the head of Dan’s cock into his mouth, eliciting a surprised gasp and then a loud moan, Dan’s hips kicking erratically as he came over Phil’s tongue. Phil sucked his through it, only letting up when Dan’s cock softened in his mouth.

- “Do you feel better?” Phil asked, sitting up on his heels and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. His cock ached against the zipper of his jeans, but he ignored it.

- “Can you run me a bath?” Dan asked in a small voice, and Phil immediately nodded. “Of course.” “Can we cuddle after?” “Of course, Dan.”