"You're my dumpling bae." Dan Howell c. 2025

“phan isn’t real.” I say into the mic, the crowd boos and throws clique merch at me. I stand my ground, I’m not a fucking pussy. The crowd of 12 year olds start screaming “the whiskers come from within!” and “ladders!”. I am very close to ending it all when two posh voices command silence over the crowd. “She’s right, stop fetishizing gay relationships.” Dan and Phil themselves stand in the back.

date of origin: december 26th, 2017

hey ummmm. dan and phil kissed in front of the camera while filming pinof 1. and they’re not married… yet. and they call each other homeslice. and sing together while doing the dishes. does anyone know how to process this.

actually the real risk with being companionless/covenless as a vampire isn't soul-crushing loneliness it's the fact that isolated vampires just start doing anything. four grown ass men got divorced last season and the second they live alone lestat starts a middling soundcloud career, louis starts stalking some poor waitress, daniel becomes a bowling fanatic, and armand is in fucking ohio

I just know there are going to be straight boyfriends who don't know shit about dan and phil at every show omgggg those tickets should have gone to a lesbian 😒😒

make jakey wait outside !!!

"I need two vip tickets for me and my straight boyfriend who doesn't gaf about dan and phil because I can't go to the show alone 🥺" I hope jakey dies straight up.