Misfit Toys

Did we just become best friends?

Nope, mortal enemies.

No way! I stalk you too!

Holy shit. It is meant to be.

Oh my god, do it, Jim Halpert is literally the most adorable thing on this planet.

I secretly stalk you in my free time, no big deal or anything.

Nah. My mom asked me to refill them so no one really caught on. 

Get her to like, bake a cake or something, hearing about her reaction would be the highlight of my life.

I mean, it’s going to be hilarious in the long run.

Your family didn't realize, right? 'Cause I did that once for April Fool's Day but it didn't work out cause my dad caught me screwing the top of the salt shaker back on.

I would care more often if I wasn’t the only one putting forth an effort.

I'm assuming that means you're in one of those starts-off-pretty-fun-but-turns-out-everyone-is-actually-getting-on-your-nerves-and-nothing-gets-done classes?

I may or may not have put salt in the sugar bowl and sugar in the salt shaker on accident? 

You are a ruiner of food and can no longer be trusted.

Remember when teachers were more intelligent than their students?

Remember when people cared about school.

Exactly! Those are the best ones, I mean I can appreciate a good documentary with killing fish and stuff but the shark attack stories are totally the best! My favourite one is the one about 1914 New Jersey attacks that inspired Jaws- erm, well if it is weird then I’m weird too.

I saw one that involved a shark in like, some lake or something, I dunno, but it was a place sharks definitetly shouldn't be, and it was probably my favorite because the kids were so shocked. Whoa, really?! I always thought Jaws was just out of Spielberg's crazy imagination, I mean those attacks were brutal, it's hard to imagine that being a real thing. Damn.

My father would never make me a milk shake, not even if his life depended on it. 

Aw man, what about siblings? Got any? Force them to do it.

I’m still waiting, and I’m starting to lose hope in my request. 

Damn, maybe if you act super super nice, your parents can go fix one for you?

A week of Sharks, that Vinny guy sounds like a loser!

Damn straight, he is! Literally best time of the year, it's like Christmas! Yes, I went there. Because that's how friggin' awesome it is. I like the shows where they tell the shark attack stories, they're so interesting and cool for some reason, even if people are getting hurt. Is that weird?

If a higher power could drop me a chocolate milkshake, that would be greatly appreciated.

Tell me how that works out for ya, 'cause I am most definitely in need of a magic-higher-power-begger-milkshake-producing best friend.

Praise the Lord for Shark Week.

Thank god someone is on my side, Vinny was totally nonchalant about it all. How can someone be nonchalant about Shark Week?!

Hawkward.

Oh, it's a pun! Toucan play at that game.

You have to say no.

No, screw your bird joke.