W H E N

the numbness always makes me feel better.

< “ its okay. i deserve this ” >

< “ I’M SORRY ” >

< “ I WOULD HAVE LIKED TO BE SPOKEN TO DIRECTLY THEN. THIS WAY MAKES IT FEEL LIKE YOU DO NOT WISH TO BE SEEN SPEAKING TO ME. ” >

< “ TELL ME WHAT YOU WISH FOR ME TO DO. SEEK YOU OUT? SPEAK TO YOU AND ENGAGE CONVERSATION? ” >

< “ NEVER IN A MILLION SWEEPS. ” >

< “ IT WOULD BE A HARM TO YOUR THINK PAN TO THINK I DO NOT THINK OF YOU STILL. BUT I WISH NOT TO APPEAR SPRUNG ON YOU, AS WE BOTH NEED TO MOVE ON FROM ONE ANOTHER. ” >

do  not trust me, i can very easily fake how i feel vocally and through text and i will always bottle up my emotions and you will never know because i hate confiding into people in fear of eventual abandoment

time to drink lmao

a lot of times when i get stressed i hear my brother in my head going “what do you have to be stressed about” and it makes me so mad lmoa like, sure, i’m not paying taxes or care/house payments or for school so like, what reason do i have to be stressed? i don’t do anything but sit on my ass and do nothing, right? i do absolutely nothing!! what do i have to be stressed about right!! nothing i feel matters or what i do!!! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

im literally picking my skin off lmao im so stressed