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@petrichorandsmoke
Oh heyyyyyyyyyy 😊😘 yeh we're cute as shit

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Oh heyyyyyyyyy 😊😘 yeh we're cute as fuck
How to tell if you are emotionally abusive
I feel we talk about signs of abuse from the victims standpoint but not from the abusers standpoint. In order to stop emotional abuse and recognize when we engage in unhealthy behaviors I made this list.
Do you react to important people in your life by ignoring them completely and not acknowledging their presence? Especially if they do something you don’t like?
Do you feel that your partner/friends/family members are the cause of your bad moods or frustration?
Does your partner/etc “do things the wrong way”?
Do criticize your partner/etc for being unreliable or a bad person?
Do you feel you have to constantly overlook your partners flaws in order to be around them?
Are you frequently accused of being “moody” or “hard to please”?
Do your partners complain that “nothing they do is good enough?
Do your partners appear to avoid you when you are angry or upset rather then comfort you?
Do you negatively comment on their intelligence or appearence? Either in private or in front of others.
Do you blame them when someone goes wrong?
Do you ever use phrases like “I could just hit you right now” or “I”m so mad I could punch something”?
Do you ever punch walls/throw things in front of your partner/etc?
Do you leave during fights and not inform of where you are going and when you will be back?
Do you behave the same alone with your partner that you do if you were in front of your friends or in public?
Have you frequently accused your partner of being too sensitive?
How often is your partner praised and complimented by yourself?
Do you think your partner spends too much time with friends and family?
Do you feel your partners friends and family are trying to drive you apart?
Do you actively comfort your partner when they are upset or angry even if you don’t really understand why they feel the way they do?
If your partner brings up a behavior that bothers them do you respond by discussing how to change it or do you respond defensively?
Do you have difficulty apologizing?
All of these things are abuse tactics. Obviously even the healthiest of us will do these sometimes but if any one becomes a regular habit that’s when the problem starts.
this is super important, i feel like this website makes it easy to put yourself in the role of the victim but never the abuser. It’s also important to note that being a victim does not preclude you from being an abuser.
I find this esp. important. I’ve exhibited some of these behaviors. I know abuse perpetuates abuse and that victims of abuse learn abusive behavior. I also know that having mental illness can make reacting and dealing with feelings even more difficult. That being said: being mentally ill does not mean you cannot be held accountable for your actions. Nor does being a survivor of abuse. I gotta take care of myself & heal and recognize how trauma and mental illness plays a role in how I treat others. Being a victim doesn’t mean you cannot be an abuser too.
this is the most important post on this website.
Thank you for this.
I still love the people I’ve loved, even if I cross the street to avoid them.
Uma Thurman (via wordsnquotes)

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why was xander such a horrible person/character/whatever?
he is a textbook Nice Guy; he was desperately in love with buffy and even though she was not interested in him as a boyfriend he hung around waiting for her to change her mind and creeped on her whenever the chance arose. he was automatically nasty to anyone she was interested in romantically because he felt entitled to her attentions and affections, despite the fact that his feelings were not reciprocated.
he treated all his girlfriends like shit, as Nice Guys tend to do, because the Nice Guy has deep-seated personal self esteem issues which subconsciously makes him think that anyone who is willing to date him is fundamentally flawed and therefore deserving of scorn.
oh, and the first and only moment in his life when he is physically stronger than buffy, the first thing he does when in her presence is try to rape her. he then pretends not to remember this after the hyena spirits are removed, and never apologizes or brings it up ever again, because apparently trying to violently rape someone who is supposed to be your best friend while under the influence is not worthy of discussion or apology.
fuck xander harris.
Just going to add: his resentment of people she slept with even lasted (pretty blatantly) up until season six and was again brought up in season seven. Six years after he first crushed on her he still wasn’t over his disgusting Nice Guy phase, and he took every opportunity to shame Buffy for having sex.
I hate that his attempted rape was never even brought up in the show too— the fact that Joss Whedon never really acknowledged it makes me pretty uncomfortable, especially because he later used attempted rape as a fucking plot point to further the redemption arc of Spike, who was a fan favorite and (let’s face it) had to be forgiven.
oh man, and furthermore i vaguely recall that Giles knew about the almost hyena rape after the fact and that between them, buffy’s only father figure and buffy’s best friend decided together that nothing would ever be discussed. did this actually happen or am i in PANIC MUST DESTROY ALL MEN mode?
and yes, not only did he shame buffy for having sex not with him, he shamed anya for having sex WITH him, he made her feel like she was a freak for wanting sex all the time. when she was open with him about her sexual needs not being fulfilled, he turned it around on her and said it was her fault for wanting too much. his nastiest attacks were reserved for when her blunt honesty threatened his sense of manhood, and those are all the times that he told her straight out “you are not really human so you can’t understand how i am right and you are wrong”.
i just dislike him so much, and the sole moment of really contrived yellow crayon redemption can’t make up for 6 seasons of him Nice Guying all over the place. sigh.
Don’t forget the time he lied to Buffy and didn’t tell her that Willow was working on restoring Angel’s soul so Buffy wouldn’t have to kill him. Another thing that was completely forgotten about for several seasons, even though Buffy must have known what happened as soon as Angel’s soul came back.
“Witches Dwell” by Wyldraven
He Jiaying, peintre chinois contemporain
Still haven’t had the time to add a background but decided to upload this since it’s Sabriel Day! (hope Garth Nix won’t mind my adaption)
I read Sabriel for the first time when I was 13, back in 2002, when a friend lent it to me.
(this is Sabriel if she had been born in a distopian universe)
omg I love it

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Me: *watching* What the hell is the point of th- OH MY GOD
it ok to not be ready
Please spread this shit like wildfire. People go on and sit through the whole experience and they’re uncomfortable because they just want to please their partner and they don’t tell them that they want to stop because they are not ready. It’s okay not to be ready.
i thought somebody else might need to hear this, because i did.
This actually happened with me and my girlfriend when we were first dating.
Now we’re engaged! :D
Communication is important.
I agree!
really super fuckin important
Eleven,
My favorite kid from from the amazing Stranger things <3
the squad

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15 things JK Rowling could include to treat Native people and culture respectfully:
1. Don’t make the centerpiece of the story about a boarding school. If you’re white you probably don’t know this but, boarding schools were used to genocide Natives for centuries.
2. Bother to do some research on the cultures you’re trying to write about. Natives are not simple. They are complex and deep. In some ways much more so than the European colonizers.
3. Natives had the most advanced and sophisticated government structures in the world at the time. International war laws, reverse hierarchical federalized democracies, independent economic entities, the clan systems, the most expansive road and trade networks in the world, the list goes on just do some reading.
4. Don’t diminish or dismiss the natives as backward or simple in the fiction either. JKR decided that natives don’t use wands for magic and stuff because they don’t do specific or focused magic, that’s racist nonsense.
5. Natives would do some wild shit like Onondaga fire magic or Aztec surgical stuff. There were Mixtec oracles and mystics who cut the flesh from their face and replaced it with gems, that shit is metal.
6. The wand thing could be replaced with turquoise gem totems, or obsidian magic knives or some shit like that. Taking the tools away from them is dehumanizing imagery.
7. Don’t mess around with pipes or anything like that. You’re white JKR, you’re white.
8. If you have a character run away into the woods in Massachusetts, she is gonna run right into Native cities. Don’t pretend that America is this open uninhabited nature reserve. That wasn’t true and it is racist.
9. Don’t pretend that American societies are going to be as backward and prejudiced as other places. Most American languages didn’t have gendered pronouns. American cultures did not have the institutional patriarchal bullshit or homophobia. We would probably be pretty accepting of people that could do magic.
10. There should be magical clans… that sounds dope.
11. There should be magical schools already and there could be a really cool plot about protecting them from the Spanish and the English.
12. They should not be schools as much as campus communities, workshops instead of classes. The predecessors to the Cherokee would create communities and give them a purpose, which was a practice common throughout North America. There would be a half-dozen schools the size of massive cities centered around dope pyramids like Cahokia.
13. Magic using medicine men would come to villages to teach the citizens that couldn’t leave or something like that.
14. Instead of skinwalkers which are too specific and appropriationy, try something like the Witiko, which is about cannibalism and evil deeds freezing your heart or something (fluctuates according to region). Could very easily be related to evil magic users.
15. The basic thing I think is to do some research and maybe ask some natives before you try shit like this.
To be clear for some white people who think I’m being sensitive or something. First off, fuck you, the second thing is JK Rowling is trying to make a shit ton of money with this. And she will so she should at least not contribute to the immolation and genocide of Native peoples at the same time.
Pholisma sonorae, also known as sandfood, are a bizarre species of plant found mainly in the arid desert regions of Arizona, California, and Colorado. Because it lacks chlorophyll (meaning that it doesn’t have the ability to produce its own food), sandfood plants are actually parasites, attaching themselves to various desert shrubs in order to gain nutrients. Remarkably, the host plants do not seem to be harmed by this process.
Sandfood are extremely rare due to increasing habitat loss.
(Source)
i would love to see these in person one day!