dying to be thin

“Anxiety’s like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you very far.”

“Fiction is the lie through which we tell the truth.”

“Art is partly communication, but only partly. The rest is discovery.”

“Maria Alexandrova graduated in 1996 but was advised to stay at the Academy for another year to prepare for international ballet competitions. At the prestigious Moscow competition in 1997 she won a gold medal, an achievement she is however quick to put into perspective: 'The main thing is not to be the first, but to be the best. A dance competition is closer to sports, and many random circumstances can have their impact on the outcome. It’s not always good to be the first. I became the first that time, but not everything was that good and there were surely some mistakes. You need to try to become better.‘”

“Develop an interest in life as you see it; the people, things, literature, music - the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself.”

“There’s something brittle in me that will break before it bends.”

“If somebody likes me, I want them to like the real me, not what they think I am. And I don’t want them to carry it around inside. I want them to show me, so I can feel it too.”

“There was just something about her dying that I had understood but not really understood, if you know what I mean. I mean, you can know someone is dying on an intellectual level, but emotionally it hasn’t really hit you.”

Someone: Hey what time is it?

“Meeting your soul mate is like walking into a house you’ve been in before - you will recognize the furniture, the pictures on the wall,the books on the shelves, the contents of drawers: You could find your way around in the dark if you had to.”

“Aren’t we all waiting to be read by someone, praying that they’ll tell us that we make sense?”

Tomorrow I start anti depressants/anti anxiety meds.

“Write because you want to communicate with yourself. Write because you want to communicate with someone else. Write because life is weird and tragic and amazing. Write because talking is difficult. Write because it polishes the heart. Write because you can. Write because you can’t. Write because there is a blackbird outside of my window right now and oh my god isn’t that the best start to the day? Write because you’re trying to figure yourself out. Write because you might not ever figure yourself out. Write because there still aren’t enough love poems in the world.”

“I like flaws. I think they make things interesting.”