N🪽

@/ petalzips intro .ᐟ

hello everypony .ᐟ black | 18 | writer

🎧: nettspend, xaviersobased, ksuuvi, 2hollis,rommulas ,boyliife, clairo, jane remover, kuru, teezo touchdown, faye webster, boy genius, deproved, osamason, swapa, che, k3, tenkay, prettifun, autumn!, dean blunt, snow strippers, kreayshawn, mirrar

🦢: nettspend, xaviersobased, che, kuru, 2hollis, rommulas, boyliife, underground

masterlist .ᐟ

psa: req is in bio

WE NOT EVEN TOGETHER .ᐟ ONE SHOT

—situationship!xaviersobased x reader; warnings: cursing, smoking, angst, heartbroken reader and xav.

y/n was sprawled acrossed her bed in a t shirt and panties, kicking her feet against the mattress while her best friend talked about some girl from work who'd gotten fired for showing up two hours late.

"…And then she gon’ tell the manager she thought she was scheduled tomorrow."

y/n laughed so hard she almost dropped her phone.

"ain't no way."

"I'm dead serious. "

"say u swear."

" swear."

y/n shook her head still smiling.

Rena narrowed her eyes.

"…why you so happy?"

"I’m listening to you."

"no, you not."

"I am."

"you smiling."

y/n rolled her eyes.

"so?"

"so... who got you smiling?"

she tried to hide it.

"nobody bruh."

"lying ass."

" bruh yk it ain't nobody."

her friend waited.

"Xavier called."

" I fucking knew it"

"It wasn’t even on nothing."

"what'd he want?"

"he asked what I was doing."

"and?"

"I said I was home."

"and?"

"he asked if I ate."

her friend blinked

"…thats all?"

"yeah."

"and you over there smiling?"

y/n laughed.

"girl , shut up."

"I’m serious."

"he was just checking on me."

"Mhm."

"he do be sweet sometimes."

Rena looked at the ceiling.

"I rebuke it."

y/n laughed harder.

"you always got something bad to say about him."

"cause every time you call me crying, it’s about him."

"I wasn’t crying."

" close enough."

She sucked her teeth.

"he ain’t even do nothing."

"yet."

"he's not gonna."

"you keep saying that."

y/n reached over to skip the song playing through her speaker.

As soon as she unlocked her phone, a notification appeared across the top of the screen.

xaviersobased added to their story.

without thinking, she tapped it

music blasted through the video.

somebody panned the camera across a group of people outside the studio.

there he was.

leaning against a hood of a Mercedes with a blunt in between his fingers, laughing.

the camera shifted.

a girl sat on the hood beside him.

she had on his black hoodie.

the hoodie y/n worn just mere two nights ago when she was cuddling with him in his bed.

the caption was simple.

late.

She watched the story all the way through.

Then replayed it.

Again.

"…y/n?"

rena frowned.

"You good?"

y/n didn’t answer.

she opened find my.

His location loaded.

The Studio.

rena watched her friends face fall.

"…what happened?"

—

the second that screen went black, y/n grabbed her keys off the nightstand, puts on some shorts she threw around, shoved a hoodie on and placed her uggs onto her feet and placed her hoodie on.

her phone buzzed.

rena 🤍: u deadass mud?

she's didn't answer.

instead she opened her and xavs texts messages going to his location and seeing he's at the stu.

"…yea",she muttered. "stay right there."

she hurried out the front door, locking it behind her before jogging down the steps to her car. The engine roared to life, and before the music could even connect to bluetooth, she was already backing out of the driveway.

ten minutes later, she pulled up outside renas house.

rena was already standing on the porch in a hoodie and pajama shorts with her arms folded.

the second she got in, she looked over at y/n.

"…you look insane."

"I probably am."

"I’m serious."

"I know."

rena buckled her seatbelt.

"so…what’s the plan?"

y/n pulled away from the curb.

"I don’t know."

"Bullshit."

She sighed.

"I’ma ask him what the fuck that was."

"And if he says it ain’t what it looked like?"

y/n laughed without any humor.

"then he better come up with a real good explanation."

The rest of the ride was quiet.

Every few minutes she’d glance down at her phone sitting in the cupholder.

His location never moved.

The closer they got to the studio, the tighter her grip got on the steering wheel.

Rena noticed.

"You can still turn around."

y/n shook her head.

"No."

The studio came into view.

she pulled into the parking lot.

There he was.

Exactly where his location said he’d be.

Leaning against the brick wall outside with a blunt between his fingers, laughing with a few of his friends.

The same girl from the story was sitting on the hood of a car beside him.

y/n’s jaw clenched.

The tires hadn’t even stopped rolling before she threw the driver’s door open.

The engine was still running.

The keys were still in the ignition.

"y/n!" rena yelled. "Girl, the car!"

The door slammed.

y/n was already storming across the parking lot.

"…Lord," her friend muttered, sinking back into her seat for a second before climbing out. She leaned against the car, folded her arms, and watched.

—

Xavier looked up first.

His smile disappeared the second he saw her.

"shit."

One of his boys followed his gaze and immediately sighed.

"Yeah…I’m going inside."

"Me too."

The rest of them didn’t waste another second.

Even the girl quietly hopped off the hood and slipped into the studio behind them.

Within moments, it was just Y/n and Xavier standing in the middle of the parking lot.

She stopped right in front of him.

"What the fuck was that?"

Xavier stared at her for a second, like he was trying to figure out how to answer without making it wor

"What are you talking about?"

Y/N let out a laugh, but there was nothing funny about it.

"Don’t do that."

"Do what?"

"Act confused."

"I’m not acting confused."

"You know exactly what I’m talking about."

She pulled out her phone and held it up.

"The story, Xavier."

He looked away for a second.

"Ma—"

lNo."

Her voice was sharper now.

"Don’t 'ma' me. You know damn well what you posted."

"It wasn’t even like that."

She stared at him.

"Then what was it like?"

"It was just people outside the studio."

"Okay, and?"

"And nothing."

She shook her head.

"Nothing? You had some girl sitting there wearing your hoodie."

"She was cold."

y/n just looked at him.

"…Be serious."

"I am."

"No, you’re not."

She laughed quietly, shaking her head.

"That’s actually crazy."

"What?"

"That you really think that’s a good enough answer."

"I didn’t say it was."

"Then why say it?"

"Because that’s literally what happened."

"Okay, but you knew how that looked."

He went quiet.

And that silence answered enough.

"Exactly."

"y/n—"

lNo, because that’s the part that gets me."

She stepped closer.

"You always wanna say we’re not together when something happens, but then you don’t move like we’re not together."

He frowned.

"What does that mean?"

"You know what it means."

"No, say it."

"Fine."

She pointed at him.

"You text me every morning."

Silence.

"You call me every night."

Silence.

"You get annoyed when I don’t answer."

He looked down.

"But the second I see something that hurts me, now it’s 'we're not together.'"

"I never said you couldn’t feel how you feel."

"Then why are you acting like I’m crazy for being mad?"

"I’m not ."

"Yes,you are."

"I'm saying you pulled up to the studio."

"Because you weren’t gonna tell me."

"Tell you what?"

"That you were outside with another girl."

He sighed.

"Because it wasn’t anything."

"Maybe not to you."

That made him pause.

The parking lot went quiet.

y/n looked away for a second, trying to keep herself together.

"That’s the problem, Xavier."

"What?"

"You don’t think about how stuff affects me."

"I do."

"No, you think about it after."

He didn’t say anything.

She nodded.

"Exactly."

He looked frustrated now.

"So what? You want me to apologize for standing outside?"

"I want you to understand why I’m upset."

"I do understand."

"No, you don’t."

"I do."

"Then tell me why."

He opened his mouth.

Nothing came out.

y/n laughed softly.

"That’s what I thought."

He looked away.

"You making this bigger than it is."

Her face changed.

"Wow."

"What?"

"That’s what you’re gonna say?"

"I’m just saying."

"No, because every time something bothers me, it’s always me doing too much."

"I didn’t say that."

"You don’t have to."

She crossed her arms.

"You make me feel like I’m asking for too much when all I’m asking for is basic respect."

Xavier sighed.

"y/n, we never put a label on this."

She nodded slowly.

lI know."

"Then—"

"But you don’t get to use that every time you want an excuse."

He looked at her.

"I care about you."

She laughed once.

"I know you do."

That seemed to catch him off guard.

"But caring about me isn’t the same as thinking about me."

Silence.

From across the parking lot, her friend watched them, arms still crossed.

She could tell the yelling was gone now.

This was the part that actually hurt.

Y/n looked at Xavier.

"I would’ve never done this to you."

"I know."

"No, you don’t."

She shook her head.

"I would’ve thought about how you’d feel before I did something."

He looked down.

"I wasn’t trying to hurt you."

"you keep saying that and I know."

Her voice got quieter.

"But you did."

For a moment, neither of them moved.

Then the studio door opened.

One of Xavier’s friends stepped outside, holding another blunt.

He looked between them.

"…Y’all still arguing?"

Neither answered.

He sighed and handed it to Xavier.

"I’m going back inside."

The door shut.

Xavier looked down at the blunt in his hand.

Then at her.

Without saying anything, he lit it and took a hit.

After a second, he held it out.

y/n stared at him.

"You think this fixes everything?"

"No."

"Then why are you giving it to me?"

He shrugged.

"I don’t know."

That honesty made her hesitate.

She took it.

Not because she was over it.

Not because everything was fine.

Just because, for some reason, she still felt comfortable standing there with him.

She sat on the curb.

After a moment, he sat beside her.

A few feet apart.

Not touching.

Not talking.

Just there.

After a while, y/n looked over.

"Did you know I was gonna see that?"

Xavier looked down.

"…No."

She nodded.

"That’s the issue."

"What?"

"You don’t think about me until I’m standing in front of you."

He didn’t argue.

Because he knew she was right.

She stood up slowly.

"I should go."

"y/n."

She looked at him.

"What?"

He opened his mouth.

Then stopped.

Because he didn’t know what to say.

She gave a small, sad smile.

"Yeah."

She handed him the blunt.

"That's what I thought."

She walked back toward her car.

Rena immediately opened the passenger door.

"You good?"

y/n looked back at Xavier one last time.

He was still standing there.

Watching her leave.

She looked away.

"No."

Then she got in the car.

And this time…

She actually turned the key before driving away.

petalzip: how'd I do I feel like its terrible but hopefully you liked it 🤍.