When you meet a business man, you must shake him by the hand,When you meet a family man, you must shake him by the hand,When you meet the choo choo man, you must shake him by the hand,When you meet the friendly fellow, you must shake him by the hand,When you meet the plug-in man, you must shake him by the hand.
★. Indie . Mutuals only 18+ . spoiler heavy Duck of DHMIS
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i love duck and yellow guy sharing a brain cell in transport. from a writing standpoint its probably to make red guy seem more isolated but i think it is very cute
THEY HAVE THEIR BUDDY MOMENTS SOMETIMES AND WHENEVER THEY DO I THINK ITS VERY SWEET AND FUNNY!!
Also yeah, that whole episode Red's just on a totally different wavelength than the other two. I hate it bc he gets scary but I like it bc then we get moments of my fave duo being stupid together and also about wicker.
(Disclaimer: Red/Duck undercut. No vore. No smut. Duck doesn’t get eaten. But there are some disturbing thoughts and imagery surrounding meat)
Description: Red wants to treat Duck to a meal at a fancy restaurant. It’s their first date, but Red has overlooked one significant detail…duck is on the menu! An AU where they live in a society consisting mostly of red string people.
The pair sit across from each other. Their table among many. The general noise of polite conversation and tender expressions surround them. A fine establishment for an equally fine date. Red had picked this restaurant hoping to impress the bird. But as he looks about he realises he’d overlooked one significant detail. A bead of sweat dribbles down his brow, everywhere he looks he can see his mistake. In the eyes of other guests, he sees his fatale flaw. Hushed voices mimic the exact words that burn into his brain. “Is that a duck? Is he dating a duck? But isn’t duck on the me-“
‘Oi! I was talking to you.’
‘Huh?’
A groan. ‘I can’t believe you for, the third and final time, hand me the menu! I’m starving.’
Usually lazy and somber, a frantic Red whips the menu far from Duck’s reach. A nervous chuckle. ‘Why not just order a salad or something?’
A scoff. Feathers ruffle and brows narrow. ‘What are you trying to say?!’
‘No,no that’s not what I meant- I- what about the lasagna then.’ He’d seen Duck eat lasagna before. He likes lasagna, there is no need for him to see the Chef’s recommendation.
Duck cocks his head to one side, like some perplexed puppy. Finally, he clocks that something is up. Red is clearly disturbed…and it’s not just the usual butterflies one gets on a first date. He decides to surrender the menu…this once. ‘Well, I do like lasagna.’ The bird muses.
—
Duck has always had an appetite, Red considers, watching the bird munch a good portion of his lasagna. He remembers how the small bird had engulfed 13 inches of a Hawaiian pizza all by himself the night they met. Meanwhile his food remains barely touched. He cannot bare to eat. A roast duck is served to the couple neighbouring their table. The remains of a duck flambé passes them on its way back to the kitchen. The waiter even has the audacity to offer him duck liver parfait- right.in front. Of Duck.
Yet, Duck seems completely unfazed… or perhaps he is just completely oblivious. The bird seems so determined to gossip about a client of his that he just seems to miss it all. That annoyingly yet somehow endearing squawking laughter of his, amplifying the noise in the restaurant. Red stares at the avian, all animated, eyes closed in an expression of sheer delight. Laughing away at his own joke. And Red question’s everything; how could anyone look at such a beautiful creature and think ‘food’. It just doesn’t seem to make any sense. Duck is annoying and, honestly, kind of an asshole but somehow cute and pleasant to be around…how could anyone-
‘Red?! Red!’
A feathered hand waves at him, bringing him back into the moment. ‘What?’ Duck had apparently hopped onto the table in an effort to shake Red from his thoughts.
His date sighs, folds his arms and pouts. ‘You haven’t been listening to me! You haven’t even tried to listen to me.’ Red flinches a little as Duck throws his hands up in frustration. ‘I might as well just speak to a brick wall.’ He complains.
The date is a total disaster… perhaps Red should have suggested a trip to the cinema instead. He hangs his head, staring down at his fumbling hands.
‘What is going on with you? You haven’t even touched your hot pot!’ A layer of concern begins to coat his tone. His hands move to hold Red’s. The mop monster locks eyes with Duck.
‘I just-‘ His eyes look away. The churning feeling in his stomach only worsening. The sounds of cutlery seem deafening, it pierces his ears. His thoughts spiralling and a chill runs down his spine. He wants to throw up but focuses hard on the feeling of Duck’s hands in his. They ground him…just enough for him to find the words. ‘This place is- can we go?’
Duck squeezes his hands a little.
‘We could go and get ice cream or something?’ Perhaps he can convince himself to eat something sweet… or at least make amends for a terrible date through heaps of sugary goodness.
Finally he has the courage to look Duck in the eyes. A sympathetic gaze stares back at him. Duck isn’t sure what’s gotten Red so unnerved but he knows it only began when they entered this place. He is given a nod.
‘Alright.’ The bird climbs down from the table and gathers up his coat. No questions asked.
—-
The night air is refreshing, calming even, a welcome contrast from the unbearable tension inside the restaurant. Duck wordlessly pads beside the bigger creature. Carefully linking their arms.
As they near the ice cream parlour Red holts. He wants to be sure that Duck understands something. ‘Wait.’ Crouching to the mallard’s level he stares straight into the other’s eyes. ‘I just want you to know, I don’t eat duck. I don’t even like it. It’s disgusting and-‘
Squawking laughter has him flinch once again. Is he laughing? Why is he-
‘I know that! Obviously!’ Duck chortles, hands moving to his hips in that ‘I know everything’ manner that this annoying little shit shows on the daily. ‘And quite honestly I wouldn’t care if you did! I just demolished an entire beef lasagna.’
‘Yeah but it’s not like we have any friends who are cows or anything-‘ Duck meat just seems so personal. What with him literally being in love with a duck.
‘Oh Red you are always so sensitive!’ He smirks, giving the red fellow a patronising pat on the arm.
Offended. Red pulls his arm away from the short bastard. ‘Alright. Don’t make fun of me… it’s just… I don’t know… I kind of like you and the thought of someone eating you is- it’s just personal okay.’ … ‘you just don’t understand.’
Something shifts in the bird and his expression softens. His hand grazes the tip of his stomach scar and there is a flash of something. Something almost painful. It’s fleeting though and quickly replaced with a toothy smile. ‘Well, no. But… perhaps a little hand hold and some ice cream might help?’
‘Yeah. Yeah. I think it might.’ His gigantic mit moves to hold a small feathery hand.
And as they move inside the parlour. ‘I like you too. Just for the record… you’re welcome.’ A shit eating grin, earns a playful nudge and a fit of giggles as the two disappear through the door.
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❝ -- You were making sounds in your sleep. It sounded like screaming. ❞ They are crouched at the head of Duck's bed, curiously as their dark eyes, not enlightened with green at this moment, stare down.
❝ It sounded scary. It sounded like you're not sleeping --good. ❞ It definetely didn't sound like Duck's terrible singing this time. / starter @peskyduck
As his body contorts beneath the sheets, feathers fly up in a flurry.
A voice. He bolts upright.
'What?!' He couldn't hear anything over that terrible sound... What is that awful- oh. He'd been screaming. When had that begun? His beak smacks shut, though little whimpers still spill. Shrunken pupils dart back and forth and a feathery hand feels at his chest and stomach. Everything in its place...even the scar.
And then...dark eyes stare down at him. The same dark eyes that-á̷̰̻̯͖̰̇͘t̵̛͔͖̯̞̤͗̒̚e̵̹̹͍͌̓͗̐ ̶̧̩̟̞͑͛̏h̶̠̪̺̖̹̔͛̐͂́i̷͚̗̺̍͂m̸̡̝͕̯̏̽ ̶̢̓̏͆̂̑ͅǘ̶͕̘̭p̴̜̋̑̃̈́
Instinct tells him to run; but pride says conceal. 'Screaming? How dare you! I was- I was' His mind is racing to fast. He cannot come up with anything to disguise his fear. 'Never mind what I was doing.' He huffs. 'What are you doing besides my bed? You should be asleep.'
A quick glance over his shoulder confirms that somehow Red had slept through all of it. 'Like that one.'
The Legend of Vox Machina a collection of my favourite sentences from the first three episodes of The Legend of Vox Machina on Amazon Prime. Part 1/??? feel free to change gender specific words, pronouns, whatever you like to make it fit your muse better!
❝ Well, you see, I don’t have any money per se, but– ❞
❝ Wonderful, we’ve got no money, no place to live, and fuck all for prospects. ❞
❝ Maybe if somebody didn’t accidentally behead the last person who hired us… ❞
❝ I don’t know, maybe– maybe we should try doing some good for a change? ❞
❝ Ethics are a luxury we currently can’t afford. ❞
❝ I’m sorry; who the hell are you? ❞
❝ So it’s coin over character? Not surprising. ❞
❝ Good luck, and please don’t… /sigh/ fuck this up, as they say. ❞
❝ I suggest we run! Right now! ❞
❝ [Name], you dumb brave asshole! ❞
❝ I only care about one word: [First name, Last name]! Ok, that’s two words, but you know what I’m saying. ❞
❝ This is why I hate traveling with holy people, they’re too goddamned good. ❞
❝ This is all very helpful, even the bullshit. ❞
❝ If we survive this, I owe you dinner. ❞
❝ All it takes is a little finesse. Amateurs. ❞
❝ It seems being a bunch of assholes has its merits. ❞
❝ Bad dream? ❞/ ❝ Is there any other kind? ❞
❝ We can’t all be aloof tight-asses [Name].❞
❝ Emotions aren’t meant to be bottled up, maybe you should cut loose once and awhile. ❞
❝ Wanna be my date? I can be on my best worst behavior. ❞
❝ How are you supposed to get drunk from these things? ❞
❝ Shit’s about to get REAL. ❞
❝ Nothing like a dragon attack to bring us all together, eh? ❞
❝ Just walk over to [Name], say hello to break the ice, and then punch them in the face. ❞
❝ You don’t understand! ❞ / ❝ Then help me understand! ❞
❝ Gosh you’re handsome. Lost my train of thought. ❞
❝ You are a curious one… and you look delicious. ❞
❝ There’s no way out tonight, my friend. ❞
❝ Would you look at that? It’s the pup that survived. ❞
❝ Step off, bitch. ❞
❝ No one kills [Name] but me! ❞
❝ You got a [weapon type]? Hey, that’s cute. ❞
❝ We’re not doing terrible, right? ❞ / ❝ No, this is terrible. ❞
❝ I had them! I had them! And you let them slip away! ❞
When you meet a business man, you must shake him by the hand,When you meet a family man, you must shake him by the hand,When you meet the choo choo man, you must shake him by the hand,When you meet the friendly fellow, you must shake him by the hand,When you meet the plug-in man, you must shake him by the hand.
★. Indie . Mutuals only 18+ . spoiler heavy Duck ofDHMIS
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You know what? Talking food is not abnormal to someone who has had a whole conversation with a family of bread; and been taught a lesson in healthy eating by an evil steak.
'Alright. Who is this then?' He simply asks with a tilt of his head. 'Are you going to teach me about growing fruit? Or maybe about making banana bread?'
Okay. Hold on. This creature is actually cute. Not like the twisted and strange beady-eyed creatures he meets on the daily. But actually cute and not at all uncanny. Perhaps he is being deceived by its appearance, but he cannot help but to allow a feathery hand to reach towards them. He'd very much like to pet. 'Hold still. I'm just going to pet your little head and tell you you're a good...whatever you are.'
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Well that might be a plus! The singing tormentors back at home were starting to get really dull.
He shrugs, eyes lifting to the sky in thought. 'Well it could be anything really. Perhaps its because I don't wear shoes' plausible only in his own mind- 'or maybe because the fraud I committed led to many deaths...Or. and more likely because God is jealous of me.'
Eyes dart around. Hopefully he can form some sort of new routine in this place if he's going to be here a while. Perhaps he'll have to start making a checklist of things that need to get done around here...
'What is this place then? Well, obviously, its Hell. But I mean. What is there to do? Do we just wait around until some creature appears to teach us a lesson in knitting or- do we all have find something red to put on and listen to My Chemical Romance?' He wouldn't mind wearing red. Red is his favourite colour. And now he notices that the demon before him is dressed in red. 'Nice outfit by the way.'a