every second of a video ive ever released is in my creative control , the only thing i dont do is shoot the video..

my favorite joke about americans is definitely that we understand the world through the lens of hamburgers. like youre right i love hamburger. i love hamburger. thank you hamburger

I don't think I ever mentioned on here the time I took three tabs of acid and then after the come up I opened VRchat on my VR headset, immediately forgot what I was doing and where I was, looked down at my hands and body and they were Hank Hill's hands and body and I threw off the headset and cry laughed for half an hour. Then I stepped onto the porch, forgot all about what just happened, and started setting up the grill and grilling food. Like Hank Hill would in times of duress. He became a part of me in that moment and he will never leave.

literally prepping a big fat fucking bowl of oatmilk right now gonna go lay in bed and lap at it like a miserable old dog

washing machine cycle ending explained

ooomg do you remember me we were created in the same unethical lab! yeah i was like 2 green tubes down from you! i knew you looked familiar

becomes so horny that i transform into a swarm of eels living in a beautiful and picturesque lake

omg this is apparently a symptom of adhd. this explains SO much

big fan of being able to go back in a reblog chain and rb a version of a post without the additional comments you don't find funny. but it also feels like lowkey snubbing the person who put it on your dash. like sorry boss im trimming the fat here. your tastes are not quite good enough. die.