To be or not to be...

I bring a certain "goes nonverbal and follows around the one person i know" type of energy to the party, that makes all the bad bitches go "aww, she's so cute, can we pet her???"

Geometry was so fuckibg stupid omfg “prove this is a triangle” I literally know it’s a triangle like intuitively bitch

blood on women is sexy if it’s someone else’s. blood on men is sexy if it’s theirs. hope this helps.

touching grass is not enough i must psychically connect to a mushroom colony

His whole job was to negotiate and peaceful and respectful treaty between humanity and the blue people so that the unobtanium could be extracted without damaging any sacred sites and he just got all horny and caused a war.

when god closes a door i lock it

I see we’re no longer being subtle