maybe it's a halfway point.

what you said was very sweet and means a lot to me but i am incapable of properly responding in any way besides “thank you so much aaaah” because i do not know how to accurately express the exact level of my gratitude to where you completely understand how much what you said meant to me without me getting even more emotional and looking like a fucking nerd: an autobiography

listen here u piece of shit

Schrödinger’s boys

FUCK

What about cracking open a cold milkshake

As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do. All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison.

mind you, all of this nonsense hinges on whether or not the boys are back in town

I love pirates because they have no concept on albeism. oh you have no leg? here have a peg leg. no hand?? well guess we gotta put a hook on that, give those sons of bitches a surprise. Blind in one eye, put an eyepatch on no one fucking cares, youre deaf??? go man the canons you glorious bastard.They dont care if youre disabled bcus as long as you can fuck shit up they literally dont fucking care.

I never thought about it this way. This is beautiful.

I’m picturing a steampunk-ish pirate ship, sailing through the clouds, with the paraplegic in the crow’s nest, the blind medic (with a faulty AI type program to assist), the many sailors with prosthetics (and some who do fine without a prosthetic), and the brilliant captain with severe anxiety… And I just…I don’t know anything about these people but I already love them…

treasure planet, you’re thinking of treasure planet

i want her to hit me in the face with a can of beer

THIS IS THE BEST FUCKING VIDEO IVE EVER FUCKING SEEN

I’m calling poison control

No one truly knows the real me. I spread my life in bits & pieces across the board between people I’ve met throughout my life. Some know my secrets, some know about my past, some know about my heartbreaks, some know about my successes… but no one knows everything.

bro, i dont even care anymore. fuck it! *continues to try very hard*

we’re literally floating on a tiny planet in fucking space why are we surrounded by hatred and misery. why can’t everyone just calm the fuck down and lay on some grass. the sun is a GIANT BURNING ORB why does money exist. fuck everything