What do you do when they keep taking more than you can afford to give, but you continue to want to try and make them happy?
This "situationship" is no longer mutually beneficial.
I always had a feeling this would end with me hurt and you just being you, but I never thought I'd feel so disrespected and unvalued. You've reminded me constantly that "we're just friends" and that you couldn't give me whatever it is you think I want. You've also told me that you don't lie. Which is bullshit. You lie. I've heard you lie. I've heard other people talk about the lies you've told. You lie. That's whatever. You can lie and say you're an honest man if it makes you feel better, but don't be such a dick about it.
This situationship started out alright. I was obviously more interested then you were and I see now you were flirting with me for the sport of flirting but was never really interested. You're right, it would never work out between us anyway... but the two years of whatever that we spent hanging out could've been a lot better.
You keep telling me you aren't using me, but is that another one of your lies? For as long as I can remmeber, every time I see you it is expected that I bring alcohol and/or food and/or cigarettes and if I don't, you often ask me to get them. You tell me you're broke and we both know I'll provide. The problem is why I provide these things. I feel as though the only time you'll see me is if I provide these things. I feel that you only enjoy my company when you're drunk.
None of this really matters though. All of this can be forgiven or overlooked. What I can't stand is how you take advantage of my caring nature and screw me emotionally (just emotionally. I wouldn't dare expect anything physical). We both know you're online talking to other women. You've been doing this for as long as I can remember so that doesn't phase me, but how could you yell at me and call me drunk and delusional when we both know that you were the one lying?
Again, all that can be ignored. You're not my boyfriend. You don't owe me any kind of loyalty. I expected maybe a little respect after I comforted you through every single thing you've been upset about and stood by you every time you clearly were just using me for food and alcohol.
My problem is that I enjoyed your company. I enjoyed not being alone and you were comfortable. You paid attention to me ever so slightly and you were there when I needed someone... but you're not anymore. I can't remmeber when it became all about you, but it's been all about you for a very long time. I deserve more. I deserve a little bit of affection after everything I've done for you... but I wouldn't say that. I wouldn't ask for it, because of you don't care for me I can't force you. I wouldn't dare try to convince you to have sex with me because I shouldn't have to beg and someone as horny as you is probably getting your fix somewhere else if you won't even touch me. I wouldn't dare ask you to be exclusive with me for the few days before you move, because you'd either get mad and tell me I'm asking too much and stressing you out, or you'd lie and I'd know it was a lie.
So that's that. I'll cut my losses. I don't expect you to pay me back or take me to the many dinners or to the other places you've promised me. I won't expect you do one day wake up and realize that you took advantage of a sweet and caring girl who only wanted to love you.
This situationship is no longer mutually beneficial. It's not longer give in take. You just keep taking more than I have to give.
