a laughing adieu to the world

Saint Roch, by Francesco Ribalta, c. 1625, Museo de Bellas Artes, Valencia

spending a lot of time wallowing in self-hatred /feeling bad for yourself / being excessively modest about your strengths is very much a navel-gazing activity that hinders your ability to face outward and authentically connect with the world. every situation becomes an interpretation of what others are thinking about you. I’m not immune to it but I’m trying to shake the habit off. I think it’s very well put by orson welles about woody allen in this interview

but for what it’s worth I also think this kind of hyperawareness of perceptions is often kind of baked into socialization for women and there are ways we can combat the way we are raised to live in our bodies in relation to the gaze of others. to quote my girl agnès

Repose en paix, dear Marjane Satrapi (1969-2026).