Diário de Bruna

Oi....

I'm Bruna.

I'm a Black-American woman who lives in Northeast Brasil.

I haven't been on Tumblr in almost a decade now. I've missed it. But this shit looks crazy to me. I feel like a mf that just got finished doing a 20 year bid in the pen, and now they holding the latest Iphone or some shit. I'll figure it out though.

I'm a writer. I used to writer for major tech companies and marketing agencies, while having my creative writing published in online and print publications based inside and outside the US.

Horror is where my heart is. Black Horror fiction specifically. To be Black and alive is an honor and a burden. The least we can have is the ability to to tell our own tales of the horror we imagine and live.

I'm gonna write and share here the things I've been too bitter to share. The things I'm too prideful to share.

I don’t know what to write anymore.

Every line is frustration and despair.

If I share it, the people may think that I don't care about past blessings.

And God may think me unworthy of any new ones.

When minor inconveniences make you question your life's value, dreaming of the future seems like disassociation instead of a plan.

Dream when the goal post has moved again?

I don’t want to hope this time.

I want what I worked for.

What we worked for.

What many died for.

It sucks. It hurts. I don't have my rent for April.

I don't miss work, but I miss the stability it offered me. I used to write for major tech companies and marketing agencies. Then I got laid off twice in one year by two different employers.

I need money not just to live, but to do the things I'd actually like to be doing. I have creative projects on hold because I can't afford to do them. You can't afford to do anything. My therapist told me I should change my relationship with money. Not allow it to...dictate my happiness. But that's easier said than done when you grew up poor and started helping with bills and things at 16. I was sending money home in college, after college, once I got my big girl job.

I don't sleep very well

I lay in bed and watch the day go to night and then day again

The sunrise is beautiful at 5am