divinely inspired

jj was bored to death, playing a card game with kiara and pope on the ‘hms pogue’. a shiny, white boat caught his eye, making him throw his cards away and shoot up.

he spotted you on the deck almost immediately. you looked so peaceful, basking under the sun, your tiny bikini leaving little to the imagination. you had even untied the top in order to avoid awkward tan lines.

he walked up to john b and pointed at kelce’s boat.

“are you thinking what i’m thinking?” jj asked, already grinning.

john b didn’t even look up from the wheel. “no.”

jj smacked him on the shoulder, startling him. “come onnn. just a little.”

“jj…” pope warned, immediately realizing what he wanted to do.

“give ‘em some wake.” he whispered in john b’s ear before dangling over the side of the boat. “heads up, kooks!”

before you could realize what was happening, the boat rocked sharply, water splashing in. you gasped as the cold water came in contact with your warm body, looking up at the familiar boat next to yours, and a blond head of hair leaning off the side.

“fuck you, pogues!” kelce yelled from the helm, rushing back to the deck to see the damage.

“fuck you too!” jj yelled as the boat left, throwing up two middle fingers at you.

you held onto your top, quickly tying it behind your neck.

“you good?”

“yeah…” you accepted the clean towel kelce gave you, patting yourself dry, “thanks, kelce.”

your eyes never left the boat that rode into the sun.

as night time seeped in, you couldn’t shake the thought of him off your head. you tossed and turned in your bed, staring at the untouched bag of weed you had bought last night, sitting beside you on the nightstand. jj actually had the nerve to send someone else to you.

you got up and threw a sweatshirt on, before looking at yourself in the mirror. “ugh!” you groaned and hid your face in your hands.

what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuuuu-

“fuck it.”

you drove your black, polished suv out of the quiet figure eight, and into the cut. your hands steered the wheel, driving on instinct, determined to get you there while your brain remained hopelessly scattered.

hesitantly, you parked in the driveway. you looked for lights turned-on, tried to listen for voices that indicated he had company. maybe he’s not even here. you took your phone out, sliding down the leather driver’s seat.

you: are you home

maybank: is this a booty call?

you: need a pickup

maybank: im home now

maybe you should have waited in the car a little while longer, make it seem less obvious you were waiting in the driveway. you jumped out of the vehicle, locking it and walking around the house to the front door.

he opened the door before you could even knock. jj leaned against the wooden frame, bare feet, board shorts hanging low on his hips, hair damp from a shower.

“that was fast.” he commented, not pulling to the side to invite you in.

“i was in the neighbourhood.”

liar.

“this neighbourhood? sure.” he chuckled, turning around to walk back inside. you followed, hesitantly. you’ve been here before, why were you so nervous? it would be like every other time, in and out quickly.

this time, jj offered you a beer. he opened it with his teeth and handed it to you. not asking, not commenting on it.

you were suddenly very interested in the label on the green bottle. he chugged his own beer and sat on the couch.

you on one side, him on the other. he was relaxed, sat back, feet on the table. you had your leg crossed over the other, looking around aimlessly. you noticed the pictures on the wall; boats, him and kiara on surfboards, sunsets.

“so, you take scenic detours into the cut now?”

you could hear the grin in his tone. he knew you weren’t in the neighborhood, and he knew you didn’t need any weed.

you took a small sip, “it’s a nice neighborhood.” you muttered against the mouth of the bottle.

“yeah. so nice.” he joked, leaning forward to leave the bottle on the table.

you noticed the muscles on his arm flexing as he moved. you hadn’t realized you were leaning in to spot the small stubble on his cheeks, until your phone rang, startling you.

you pulled the phone out of your hoodie, not noticing jj looking at the screen. you let out a loud groan, declining the call and dropping it on the coffee table.

“don’t tell me he’s in the neighborhood too.” he joked, this time earning a small chuckle from you.

the phone rang again, and you just put it on silent, not bothering to answer. kelce’s name was written on the screen, over a photo of the two of you, at last week’s party.

“what, he got you on speed dial or something?” you ignored jj’s remarks, your eyes falling on the metal grinder on the table. you took it in your hands, inspecting the rusty ridges and the faded-out design on top.

“you need a new one.” you commented before opening it to find it full, the grassy smell hitting your nostrils.

“you buying it?” jj chugged the rest of his beer, getting up to get a new one from the fridge. he hung around the kitchen for a while, leaning against the counter. he observed you, quietly. this was new. you had never spent more than five minutes in his house, only exchanging your money for weed and leaving, usually with a snarky remark thrown at him.

you looked too cozy, he thought to himself, too at home sitting on the beat-up couch, using his tools, his papers, his weed. when did he invite you for a hang-out? jj didn’t like it.

he didn’t do anything to stop it, though. he sat down on the couch again, this time a little closer. not enough to be noticeable, but still.

“you’re still paying for this.”

you looked up at him through painted eyelashes, placing the roll-up between your lips, “of course.” you sparked the end of it, a small flame errupting as you inhaled.

the phone vibrated on the table again. texts this time. a lot of them.

“there’s a better way of going about breaking up than ignoring him, you know.”

“breaking up?” you let out a laugh before passing him the joint, “we’re not dating.”

“you sure he knows that?” he glanced back at the phone, screen still lighting up with messages.

you only offered a roll of your eyes, leaning to get your beer instead of the phone. you took a few sips, hoping for some liquid courage.

the smoke settled around you, curling in the crooks of the couch. you extended your hand, obviously asking for the spliff, which he was hogging. he gave it to you, his fingers lingering over your own.

you both looked away, jj stared out the window and you stared at the ceiling. you settled into the couch, back leaning against the arm of it, knees curled up against you.

“so…you always end up in places, or is tonight special ?”

“you’re really not gonna let this go, are you?”

he shook his head. “ah, i know what this is. you came here to yell because i ruined your tan.”

“maybe.”

“then yell.”

when exactly did you end up in the middle of the couch, knees stuck against his side? when did he wrap an arm around the back of the couch, practically right behind your head? you weren’t sure, but you were too close. close enough to smell his deodorant and the citrusy shampoo. too close for people who swore up and down they hated each other’s guts.

“i don’t want to yell.” you admitted, voice soft, scared.

“better for me. you screech when you’re angry.”

“you would know. you always make me angry.”

“you always come back.” he retorted. you didn’t have an answer. it made you furious that he was right.

you looked up to find him staring at you. you noticed a lot when he was quiet. the crook of his nose, the freckles on his cheeks, the small smile playing on his lips. the fact his eyelashes were blond, almost white, bringing out those icy eyes. your cheeks turned red when you realized your hand had shot up to his hair, twirling a small strand on the back of his head.

“careful, kook. us pogues are dirty, you’ll get your hands messy.”

“you’re not that dirty,” you grinned, “you just showered.”

his own hand had sneaked in your hoodie, fingers drumming against the small of your back. you had to be careful treading this; jj was like a cat, one wrong move and he would hide under the couch.

neither of you said anything. for once, there was no insult waiting at the tip of your tongue. his eyes flicked down to your lips, then back up. your heartbeat stumbled.

maybe it was the beer. maybe it was the joint. maybe it was the fact he’d been looking at you differently all night. whatever it was, it drowned out every reason this was a terrible idea.

you leaned in. he hesitated for a second, jaw tightening like he was arguing with himself.

then he met you halfway.

bang.

“yo, jj!” someone pushed the door open, making jj shoot up from the couch. “oh, shit. my bad, man.”

“jesus christ! can nobody knock?”

you turned to see john b and your old friend kiara catching up right behind him.

“yo, what’s with that car on your…” she trailed off when she spotted you on the couch, your face and ears red with embarrassment.

“i’m gonna go.” you turned to jj, equally flustered as you. he nodded, not even bothering to look at you.

the two pogues stepped away from the door, looking you up and down as you left.

“nothing happened.” jj slammed the door behind you, a little harder than he was supposed to.

“…didn’t say anything did, buddy.” john b shared a look with kiara.

“yeah? well, nothing did!” jj walked around the living room aimlessly.

“you good?” kiara asked, hesitant.

“peachy.”

he was far from peachy. he grabbed the unfinished beer bottle from the table, refusing to face his friends. the beer disappeared in a few long gulps, but it did nothing to wash away the image burned into his head. your fingers in his hair. your stupid smile. the way you’d looked at him like you didn’t hate him for once.

jj tried to convince himself that what had happened was just the result of beer, weed, and close proximity. it certainly wouldn’t happen again.

it couldn’t happen.

it wouldn’t happen.

right?

“need help, sarah?” you took one end of the light string, unwrapping it carefully.

“thanks.” the blonde wiped a few beads of sweat off her forehead. “hey, can i ask you something?”

“sure.” you shrugged, curious. she was shifting from foot to foot, either she was nervous or the sand underneath was too hot.

“those pogues. you know, john b, jj…” you froze at the mention of his name. why would you? “they’re not that bad, right?”

“where is this coming from?” you chuckled nervously.

“nevermind, forget it!” she laughed it off and ran to her car for more supplies. you contemplated her question. you didn’t know the rest of them that well, except for your dealer. was jj a bad person, or was he just a pogue?

the party was at its peak; the full moon’s light reflected on the sea’s dark blue waves, making them look almost glittery. a few couples were in the water, but most people were dancing around and drinking.

you were refilling your red solo cup with tequila when you heard some commotion by the speakers. you looked over to see a large group of pogues, two of them carrying a keg of beer.

despite the constant war between kooks and pogues, you usually partied together harmonically. it was as if music and alcohol brought you together. at least until a fight broke out over something insignificant. the keg of beer was dropped right next to you, startling you. you looked around and your eyes instantly fell on two icy blue ones, a gaze that seemed to pierce right through you.

you turned your back to him, in search of your friends, before someone picked you up and swung you over their shoulder. your cup swung around, some of its contents dropping. you noticed that mesmerizing stare still on you, his arms crossed over his chest and jaw ticking.

“kelce!” you squealed when he flipped you over and carried you in his arms instead, finally placing you down when he walked up to your friends.

“you looked like you needed saving.” kelce winked, glancing back at the pogues.

“my drink needs saving. you made me drop most of it.” you waved the mostly empty cup in front of the guy’s face before chugging what was left and handing it to him.

“your wish is my command.” he bowed to you, before leaving to fill your cup.

still laughing, you turned to sarah and topper, who were glued to the hip.

“he likes you, you know.” said sarah, earning a nudge from topper.

“kelce? nooo.” you waved her off, turning to look at the muscular man.

“he so does! topper told-”

“hey, hey, sarah. come on, let’s go look at the dolphins.” topper wrapped an arm around her shoulders, taking her away quickly.

the night found you dancing in the middle of the dancefloor, one hand holding kelce’s and the other a drink. what was it, your sixth one? you had lost count after that third shot you took. an arm wrapped around your throat, placing a cigarette between your glossy lips. you turned around to see rafe, who joined in on your dance.

jj was watching from afar. he and john b had sparked up a joint, sitting by the keg, when he noticed you. he was annoyed at the fact he spent the whole evening looking at you. a kook. he was staring at your ripped jean shorts, how they rode up your ass when you were jumping around, he noticed every time you fixed your bikini top, he noticed that you were sandwiched between two kooks, dancing with them.

his eyes grew wide when he saw you taking something out of your back pocket, using it to light the cigarette rafe had offered you. though you were far, the design was distinct. a vibrant green lighter with red marijuana leaves. as he exhaled the smoke, he started coughing uncontrollably.

“woah!” john b patted his back, offering him his beer. jj chugged it, breathing heavily when he was done. “what was that?”

“came down the wrong way.” he muttered. he looked back at the dance floor, but you were gone. he caught you in a glimpse, escaping the party with the two boys.

jj pulled his phone out, fingers hovering over the screen before he opened a few text threads, inevitably ending up in yours.

a ping coming from your phone took your attention off rafe’s drunk monologue.

maybank: need anything?

raising a curious eyebrow, you replied.

you: later

maybank: won’t be around later

you: give me a minute

“i’m calling it a night, fellas.” you bowed to kelce and rafe with a grin.

“woah, woah, the party’s just getting started, missy!” rafe dangled a small bag with a white powder in front of your face. you pushed his hand away, looking back at kelce.

“not my vibe, rafe. see ya.”

“want me to drive you home?” kelce yelled behind you as you went down the cliff.

you waved goodbye, not bothering to reply. you weren’t about to get in a car with a drunk. coming down to the beach, you took your phone out to text jj, but a hand grabbed your upper arm, pulling you behind a tree.

eyes wide, you stared up at your kidnapper. “wow. no survival skills whatsoever.” he commented.

“what the fuck?”

“then, i guess you kooks don’t need survival skills. you have security for that.”

“whatever, maybank.” you sat down on a tree stump and leaned back, holding your weight on your palms.

“this is all i have left.” he showed you a bud inside his palm.

“huh, the kooks stripped you down?” you caught it in your hands when he threw it.

“yeah, i’ll give you that. you guys are good customers.”

“so, how much is it?”

“nothing. i’ll add it to your next purchase.”

he looked down at you, hands in his pockets, like he was waiting for something. you sighed and returned the stare. you guessed he wasn’t really making any deliveries tonight, and that was just for him and his friends, hence no bag either.

“well, do you have papers?” you asked, breaking the green ball in the palm of your hand.

“papers, cigarettes, i’ll have to start charging you.”

“one paper and one cigarette.” you corrected him, but a small smile still escaped your lips.

jj pulled a beige hemp paper out of the packet and rolled a cigarette around his fingers, letting some tobacco fall on the paper. he pinched the grinded green out of your extended palm, throwing it inside and rolling it.

you watched his tongue lick the top of the paper, tantalisingly slow. he didn’t break eye contact over the rolling paper, his eyes glistening with the moonlight’s shine.

“lighter?” he asked you. more so, demanded. you patted your pockets, reaching to your back one to find your lighter. his eyes lit up at the sight of his lost artefact.

you pushed yourself up, holding a protective hand around the joint, and sparked it for him. you were standing too close. you could smell the aftershave on him, and the seasalt in his hair. the heavy smell of weed filled your nostrils when he exhaled.

the disappointment in his face when you stashed the lighter in your back pocket didn’t go unnoticed.

“really? you’re stealing?” he chuckled dryly and leaned against a tree. “you don’t got money for a lighter?”

“what?” and then you remembered. you thought the lighter looked familiar when you found it in your washing machine. you remembered that you were surprised it was still working after the washing cycle. “oh.” you took it out of your pocket, inspecting it. he was right. you would never buy a lighter like this willingly. you tossed it at him and jj caught it midair.

he passed the joint to you and you extended your arm to accept it. your fingertips barely grazed against his, but it still made you drop it on the ground.

“jesus.” he rolled his eyes, grinning as he watched you look for it.

“turn on your flashlight.”

“are you kidding? i don’t want anyone to see me with you.” he exclaimed.

“found it.” you got up, taking the lighter from his hands to light up the joint.

“don’t steal it again.”

with a grin, you turned to the side and lifted your arm, throwing the lighter into the woods.

“hey!” he exclaimed, running in the direction he watched it get thrown. you followed behind him, taking a long drag from the rolled cigarette, exhaling slowly. you watched, amused, as he kneeled and searched for it.

“turn on your flashlight.”

“what, and risk being seen with me?” you gasped dramatically.

“i’m not kidding, kook.” he spat out. rolling your eyes, you turned on the flashlight on your phone, only to look down and see a vibrant green flash between your feet.

“found it.” you leaned down to pick it up. “finders keepers.” you placed it in your pocket and turned around, walking to your previous spot.

jj rushed behind you, snaking two fingers in the back pocket of your shorts to retrieve the lighter.

“don’t touch me!” you exclaimed, turning around to face him. stumbling, you took a step back when you realized you were standing way too close for your liking.

“oh my god, i just realized,” he acted like he was having the biggest revelation of his life, “you’re so fucking annoying!”

“right back at you.” you retorted and sat down on the stump, bringing your knees to your chest and hugging them. it was getting chilly, the wind was biting.

a gray sweatshirt dangled infront of you. no words. not even a look thrown at you. but you could have sworn his cheeks had turned bright red as he looked down at the beach. you passed him the remainder of the joint and accepted the sweater, wearing it to feel some warmth.

after a while in silence, your phone pinged. it was sarah, wondering where you had gone. you got lost in the text thread, ignoring jj’s visible annoyance.

“text me when you need more.” he mumbled and turned around to leave.

“maybank, your sweater.”

“i’m not wearing it after a kook touched it.”

“who’s fucking annoying now?” you muttered, leaving soon after him to find your friend in the crowd.

jj found his own group, playing a game around the bonfire. he made up an excuse about ‘deliveries’ which everyone took for the truth. except for kiara. kiara noticed he had left with a sweater and came back without one. she also noticed her old friends dancing around the bar, one of them wearing a very familiar, stained with car grease, gray sweater.

“jesus, watch it!” you flipped around and sat up, only to see a familiar blond sitting across from you, his cheeks red from playing in the sun, his t-shirt wet from the water.

“you watch it. i didn’t see you behind those bags!”

“yeah, right.” you scoffed and closed your book, gathering your things in your bag. you put the half joint out in the sand and placed it back in your tin. this didn’t go unnoticed by the man.

“aren’t you a little out of your way, kook? you do know this is the cut, right?” jj pushed himself to his feet at the same time you stood, nearly chest to chest. his jaw tightened. you crossed your arms, refusing to be the first to look away.

“i came to clean up.” you waved the trash picker in front of his face before closing it and placing it in your backpack. “you should care about this beach a little more. you live here.”

“i don’t live here, kook. i live in a house.”

you rolled your eyes, muttering under your breath as you snatched up two trash bags. the last thing you wanted was company, especially his, yet his footsteps trailed behind you anyway.

“what was that?”

you didn’t stop walking. “i said, if you can call that a house, sure.”

“sorry i don’t live in a mansion bought by daddy’s dirty money!” he yelled out behind you. you only offered a middle finger before leaving, throwing the bags in a large trashcan. you got on your bike and left, ignoring the stare that burned your back.

later in the night, the sound of cicadas buzzed through figure eight. you sat on your bedroom balcony, leg bouncing impatiently against the wicker chair. your stash tin sat open beside you.

empty.

with a groan, you pulled out your phone, fingers dancing over the screen before you finally opened the text thread.

you: need a pickup

the typing bubbles appeared almost immediately.

maybank: wrong number

you: hilarious. can you or no?

maybank: dock in 20

your foot tapped the wood, impatiently. twenty minutes became thirty, then forty. finally, a boat stopped by the dock, a hooded figure hopping off.

“you’re late, maybank.”

“take it easy, kook. this is the last one.” he took a cigarette from behind his ear and lit it. “find another dealer.”

you scoffed. “you’re kidding.” a sudden, loud thunder made you jump.

“do i look like i’m kidding?”

“are you this mad over a joke?”

“no,” jj said, stepping closer. “i’m mad because you’re an asshole.”

you gave him a fifty note, fully expecting him to run away with the money, not offering anything in return. he took out a baggie, opened it to take a small bud, before throwing it to you.

“delivery fee.” he grinned when you rolled your eyes.

jj watched intently as you unzipped your hoodie, stashing the bag inside your bikini top. a shiny chain dangled against your chest, disappearing when you zipped your hoodie back up.

“what?” you stared at him, wondering what had him so flustered all of a sudden. neither of you broke eye contact.

the sky had been threatening rain all evening, thick clouds rolling in from over the water. neither of you paid much attention.

“you done glaring at me, or can i go now?”

before you could give him a witty answer, a crack of thunder split the sky.

“shit.” jj muttered.

rain came down in sheets seconds later. you looked around for a place to take cover, your eyes spotting a fish shack a few meters away. jj went for the boat, but soon realized there was no visibility for him to go into the water. muttering under his breath, he ran behind you.

the abandoned shack smelled of mold and fish. rain hammered against the tin roof, drowning out anything else. you sat on an overturned crate by the door and removed the soaking hoodie. you wrapped your arms around yourself, trying to ignite some warmth. jj leaned against the opposite wall, absently drumming his fingers against his thigh.

neither of you spoke. for once, neither of you seemed interested in arguing. it didn’t go unnoticed by you that jj was shivering, his clothes and skin soaked through with the summer rain.

he kept looking out the window, as if the rain would magically stop and he would be free to go.

“do you have a cigarette?” you were the first to break the silence.

“i thought you kook girls were too good for those.”

“do you have one or not?”

he threw the pack at you, the plastic wrap around it saving it from the rain. you took a cigarette out and left the pack on the table.

“lighter?”

jj pretended to check his pockets, shrugging at you. “don’t have one.”

“i saw you light a cigarette just before.”

“great, now you’re imagining things too. i’m stuck with a crazy kook.”

you rolled your eyes and stood up, searching in the drawers of the forgotten shack. a pack of matches sat in one of them, but your triumphant smile faltered when you realized it was empty.

cigarette in your mouth, you turned to jj. eyebrows turned up, eyes pleading. he shook his head and appeared a green lighter from his pocket. it played between his fingers for a bit, like he contemplated if he should use it or not.

he leaned in, shielding the flame from the wind that kept sneaking through the shack’s warped boards. for a second, it’s too close. not intimate on purpose.

“you always this dramatic about a lighter?” he muttered.

“i’m not dramatic,” you said, dragging the words out as you inhaled, “you’re just weirdly protective of fire.”

that earned a short laugh from jj. not warm, exactly, more like it slipped out before he could contain it.

the wind hit the shack again, harder this time. the whole structure creaked, as if answering with a loud groan. somewhere outside, something metallic clattered before disappearing into the rain.

you glanced toward the door. “is your boat okay out there?”

“if it’s not, i’ll mourn it tomorrow.” he shrugged.

silence stretched after that, but it didn’t sit comfortably. it shifted. cigarette smoke curled between the two of you, getting caught in the beam of a flickering bulb that seemed like it was on its last day.

jj watched the floorboard intently, like it was a show on the tv.

“you don’t have to do that thing, you know.”

“please, enlighten me.” sarcasm dripped from his tongue.

“this act. like everything bores you.”

his jaw ticked. not from anger. more like recognition he didn’t really sign up for.

“it’s not an act.”

“sure.” you replied, soft but not backing off.

the wind pressed again, this time knocking on a loose piece of wood above you, like asking for attention. the light flickered lower, then steadied. jj got up to stretch, shifting closer to you.

“you’re gonna sit there and analyze me until the storm is over?”

“do you want to stay in silence the whole time instead?”

“yeah!” he exclaimed. “you’re not that annoying when you’re quiet.”

“i could say the same about you.” you responded, and that was the last he heard your voice.

jj inspected you, something he wasn’t able to do in a usual setting. he noticed your tan, the moles on your skin. he spotted a piece of ink on the underside of your arm, curiosity getting the best of him.

he walked up to you and grabbed your hand, pulling it up to inspect closer. a delicate tattoo of a sea horse was hidden in the crooks.

“what the fuck, maybank?” you shook him off you, startled by the sudden touch.

“does daddy know about that?”

“i don’t need permission to get a tattoo.” you suddenly noticed that the atmosphere outside was too quiet. the rain had stopped, the only sound coming from the outer world was the waves hitting against rocks. “storm’s over.” you noticed.

jj was quick to ram the door open and rush outside, like a free man leaving prison.

“goodnight.” you muttered to yourself, walking up the dock to find your bike.

the ride home was quiet, the town was empty so late in the night. you kept replaying things in your brain that you shouldn’t.

the way he lit your cigarette instead of offering a lighter. the way he inched closer to you, trying not to make it obvious. the fact neither of you left immediately when the rain had stopped, because you hadn’t noticed.

you tried to label it. label him. annoying. interesting. something. nothing. none of them fit cleanly.

as you parked your bike in front of your house, you caught yourself wondering what could have happened; if you’d said one more thing, asked a question, if you’d stayed one more minute.

that’s where you stopped tidying your thoughts up. you realized you didn’t want to file him away neatly. not just yet.

you had dismissed any feelings towards captain levi long ago. you figured it’s war, people are lonely. they’re bound to have pent-up emotions, especially stuck with someone so attractive around them all the time.

he made it so hard though. with his peeking when he thought you didn’t notice. with the strong hand massaging your shoulder after a long day. with his foot under the table during formation meetings, inching up your calf…

“what the fuck?” he stifled a laugh. “is this a marriage proposal?” he held up a piece of paper, more like a love letter, really.

“wish it was just one.” you muttered, ignoring the way he went through your neat stack of papers, instead focusing on the ones that needed a signature in front of you. it was true. apparently men found you attractive, writing to you about how you could have a better life with them, inside the safety of the walls, instead of a titan’s mouth.

“if these men got to know you for more than a day, they would change their mind.”

“i’m sure you’d like that, levi.” you snapped, making him frown. he got up and turned his back on you, heading for the sink.

the running water made you sleepy. this was nice. no awkward silence. it almost felt domestic.

you turned to look at him. his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and his pants were tight on the muscles of his thigh. you wanted to look away. how does a man acquire such a nice ass?

“stop staring.” horror overtook your previous expression and you turned your attention to the paperwork in front of you.

“keep dreaming.” you scoffed.

“not convincing.” you heard his footsteps getting closer. you could see him with the corner of your eye, settle himself behind you.

his hand moved your hair away from your neck, fingertips barely tickling you. you had to drop your pen, or he would see your hand shaking.

“eeeek!” you screeched, jumping up from your seat. he had placed his cold, wet hand under your shirt, startling you. “not funny, levi.”

the man contained his smile, pushing you back on the chair. his hands found your shoulders, the crook of your neck, your collarbones, massaging you softly. you gave in to his touch, letting your body relax and your head fall back on the chair.

“oi.” you opened your eyes. your faces had never been this close, and as much as you wanted to fill the gap between you, you still pushed his hands away and got up.

“we should get some sleep.” you muttered, not even caring for the folders on the table. you only grabbed your jacket and headed for the door.

“y/n.” he was right behind you. you turned around. levi’s lingering gaze freaked you out. he looked like he would shit his pants if he thought for another second. so he didn’t.

he looked hesitant, but his moves were determined. his hands met your cheeks and you took a step back, surprised. your back hit the cold stone wall and you realised you had nowhere to go.

not that you wanted to leave, really.

not when his cracked lips met your own, so softly that you might have imagined it. your own hands wrapped around his wrists and you deepened the kiss. the barrier between the two of you shattered, the jacket you were holding dropped on the floor.

levi’s hands roamed with a feverish intensity, tracing the contours of your body, committing every curve to memory. his touch was electric, sending shivers down your spine and leaving a trail of fire in its wake. in response, you pulled him closer, your bodies pressed together in a desperate attempt to bridge the gap between them.

a soft groan escaped his lips, vibrating against your tongue. you never knew he could let himself go like this.

“haven’t got action in a while?” you teased. he reached behind your back and pulled on your hair, leaving your neck vulnerable.

“you’ve been making much more noise than me.” he spoke between open-mouthed kisses. did you? you had barely noticed.

his knee fell between your thighs, spreading them slightly. your fingers pulled on his hair when his knee kept inching closer, closer…

you whined with dissatisfaction when he stopped and brought his leg down. his lips felt hot on your neck, his hand fondled with your tit over the fabric of your shirt.

“you know, i keep hearing you every fucking night.” he looked up at you through half-lidded eyes. your cheeks flushed at the reminder that you basically slept one wall apart. “and it almost sounds…” he bit the sensitive skin of your neck, “like you’re moaning my name.”

you couldn’t even think of a comeback, not when his hands pressed against every inch of your body, not when they reached the swell of your ass and lifted you up.

you wrapped your legs around his torso, grinding down to where the two of you met. you felt hot, sweaty, feverish. you undid the top two buttons of your shirt, but levi pulled away from your kiss before you could continue.

“not here.” he breathed out, bringing his forehead to rest against yours. “not now.”

“i know you.” you whined. “if not now, it will never happen.”

“do you really think that?” his eyebrow shot up as he leaned in for another desperate kiss.

you nodded.

“you don’t know how badly i want this, y/n.” he gently put you down, but his arms never left your waist. “but not here.”

“then meet me at the stables.” you whispered in his ear with a giggle. “i’ll go first.”

“not so fast, princess!” his voice echoed through the forest. you looked behind your shoulder at levi, stuck in a game of cat and mouse with you. out of breath, you turned a corner and hid behind a tree.

“i thought you were the best of the best, levi.” you breathed out, a smile playing on your lips. levi sat down across from you, back resting on a trunk.

“we need to go back to the castle, your highness.” the title dripped from his tongue almost playfully. you mimicked his stance, sitting down with your legs stretched, an emerald gown falling over them, only your bare feet showing. “and you need to wear shoes.” he added.

“i don’t need to do anything. i’m the princess.”

“and do you know many princesses running around barefoot?”

“i can be the first.” you laughed and lifted yourself up, offering a hand for your knight. he took it, gray eyes scanning the sweat beads on your forehead, your cheek that was scratched, your nose that was dirty with soil.

levi lifted a hand, his thumb ran across your cheek. he held it up for you to see the blood. you took his hand in yours, a mischievous grin covering your face as you wrapped your lips around the bloody finger, your tongue licking it clean.

“stop it!” he exclaimed, looking around cautiously. “it is getting dark out.” he noted. he was right. the sun was red, offering his cheeks a warm glow. he looked divine, you thought as you laced your fingers with his, eyes never breaking away from his face.

“you know where to find me, levi.”

“i will be there, princess.”

the clock in the courtyard struck midnight. you paced around your bedroom, checking the mirror once or twice. your hair fell down, over your cream-coloured nightgown, the muddy dress you previously wore now discarded on the cold floor.

four knocks on the door. perfectly spaced between eachother.

“come in.” you sat down on the edge of your bed, heat rising to your cheeks as the knob turned to reveal your knight. now in his peasant clothes, instead of the armour, levi quickly shut the door behind him.

“your lady in waiting, she is on to us, princess.”

“take it easy, levi. she is as daft as they come.”

“i think she saw me coming in.” he whispered.

“well, if she did, i will tell her i was having nightmares about a bear chasing me. i desperately needed my knight to save me.” you joked and rested your head on his shoulder when he sat by your side.

“it isn’t funny. the king will have my head-”

“the king will not do anything. you are mine, levi. they can not hurt you.”

you turned to look at each other, and levi’s expression shifted. how could he be worried or mad, or anything at all other than delighted, when he was with you?

“i will marry you once i am queen.” you promised, slowly guiding him to lie down, with you on top of him. “i will make you my king.” you whispered into the crook of his neck, leaving soft kisses that made him shiver.

his hands trailed your back, finding the hem of your dress and lifting it. you pressed against him, grinding onto his bulge. levi lifted you up and flipped you, now on top of you.

“you are so beautiful, levi.” your hands cupped his cheeks, feeling the warmth rising to them as he smiled at you.

“let me please you, please.” a trail of kisses was left on your chest, your clothed stomach, until levi’s head disappeared under your dress. he looked back up at you with a grin. “princesses wear undergarments, you know?”

“i forgot.”

“you have them sent here from the best seamstresses in france,” he mumbled into your thigh, “and you forget them?”

“the only thing on my mind is you, levi.”

“and the only thing on mine is you, my lady.”

you squealed when his lips came in contact with your cunt, your hand quickly slapping against your mouth. his tongue traveled between your folds, tickling you in the most sensational way. your thighs wrapped around his head, but he pulled apart soon after, eyes shooting up at you.

he looked at you like you were a god. you were the only one privileged enough to see levi in this position. vulnerable, soft.

“can i, princess?” he was already unbuttoning his pants. you nodded eagerly, hands stretching to touch him. you wanted to feel every part of him, every inch of his body, in fear that someday it would be over.

“of course.” your voice came out in a whisper, chest heaving with excitement. levi’s hands held your waist, fingernails pressing on your soft skin. you looked down at his member, bulging and hard.

you couldn’t help but grin.

it was yours. he was yours. all yours.

a sigh escaped his lips as he guided his cock to your entrance, stretching you out slowly with every inch of his. you lifted your legs up, letting them fall on his shoulders. your hands gripped the silk sheets underneath you.

he thrusted his cock in a fast rhythm, driving you up the bed until your head hit the board. moans escaped your lips, not caring anymore if you were heard.

“sorry.” he leaned down and placed a protective hand between your head and the board, kissing your forehead softly.

“i don’t mind a little pain.” you grinned, making him let out a breathy chuckle. it seemed his thrusts became harder, faster, his tip tickling that spot inside you no one else could reach.

“can i kiss you, princess?”

“you don’t have to ask.” wrapping your arms around him, you pulled him into a deep kiss, tongues slamming against each other as he slammed into you hard. “i’m coming, levi!” your walls tightened around him, hugging every vein, every inch of his.

“shh. please, keep quiet.” he whispered in your ear before kissing the lobe. “they will find us.” he reminded you.

it pained both of you that you had to meet in secret, after dark. such a big love shouldn’t be contained between four walls.

“i’m sorry. i just love you too much.” you replied, your heart aching.

his hand came down to your clit, fondling with it slowly, softly, contrasting the hard thrusts. his other hand slapped against your mouth.

he was good at keeping quiet. you weren’t.

“my love, i’m close.” he warned. you wrapped your legs around him tightly. he could barely move, except for his cock bulging inside you. “princess…” he warned you.

“i want you, levi. all of you.” your back arched off the bed, your chests stuck together.

“princess, we can’t-"

“please?” you weren’t sure why, but tears were escaping your eyes. levi kissed them away, before pulling out. “levi, please.” your voice came out in a whisper.

“this is a very dangerous game you are playing.” levi wrapped his hand around his cock, hoping to relieve himself as usual. but you took his hand, guided him inside you again.

“i command you, levi. are you not supposed to be devoted to my every command?”

“yes, princess.”

slow thrusts, soft moans filling your ears. you could tell he was close. you rolled your hips against his, your pussy squeezing him, pulling him in deeper.

warm ropes of cum filled you to the brim as you brought levi in for an embrace. he tried pulling out, but you wouldn’t let him. you just didn’t want to let go, you didn’t want him to leave. you were one at the moment, not two.

“princess,”

“i know. just a minute.” you breathed in his musky scent. you let your fingers brush his hair. you caressed his back. as he pulled out, you closed your legs shut, not allowing anything to spill out. he fell on the bed next to you.

“we shouldn’t have.” he shook his head, fingers rubbing his eyes. he turned to look at you, your expression so serene.

“i wanted to. i love you.” there were those tears again. you cozied next to levi and he wrapped his arm around you.

“as do i.” he replied softly. he never said the word. not once.

“you do? tell me then.”

“i did.”

“you know what i mean, levi.” you rolled your eyes.

your fingers traced abstract shapes on his chest, your hand moving up and down with each of his breaths.

“i love you, princess.” the words had barely come out of his lips before you kissed him. “i need to leave.” he stood up and got dressed quickly, a routine he had perfected after countless nights sneaking in and out of your room.

“will you stay? for a little while.”

“is this another command?” he chuckled.

“just before the sun steals you away.”

you went into the house and got another beer from the fridge, cracking it open on your way to the backyard. the music was still loud, but not too crazy, so you sat on the porch steps and took a tin box out of your bag.

“thank you, jj.” you muttered, lighting up the front of the rolled cigarette. the heavy, bitter taste filled your mouth as you inhaled, and clouded the air when you exhaled.

you were starting to relax, your head feeling heavy as you let it fall back, only for a loud crack to startle you.

“my bad…” someone muttered, emerging from the dark side porch. you watched a foot swipe broken glass under a chair, before they walked towards you.

“your curfew’s not over yet?” you watched rafe stumble before finally taking the seat next to you. rafe’s eyes were bloodshot, his pupils blown like big, obsidian marbles.

“what’s that?” he ignored your sarcasm, index finger poking the side of your ankle. he wrapped his fingers around the dainty, gold anklet, pulling it up so he could see the ink on your skin. “save the turtles.” he chuckled at his own joke.

“it’s just a turtle.”

“what, you use metal straws and everything?” he kept chuckling and a smile threatened to escape your lips as you took another hit from the joint.

rafe stared, intrigued, at the glossy remnants on the cigarette’s end, and back at your own lips, the same glossy substance spread on them.

you assumed he was looking at the joint, so you offered it to him. he gladly accepted, fingers shaking slightly as they crossed with yours. you leaned back, elbows resting on the top step and sighed. your eyes shot up at rafe’s dark ones when he tugged on your waistband.

“p4l?” you both looked down at the small letters by your hip. you didn’t shake his hand off.

“pogues for life.” you chuckled when he groaned.

“what other tattoos do you have?” he passed the cigarette to you, leaving it between your lips, coating his fingers with your lipgloss.

you shook the arm of your flannel off, showing him the small tattoos on your arm with little explanation.

“and…”

“and?” he looked curious. you turned your body to face him and brought your pinky fingers to your bottom lip. grinning, you pulled it down to show off skinny ink lines, healed into the pink skin. rafe leaned closer but you were quick to pull away.

“wait, what does it say?” he cupped your jaw, making you face him again. you just shrugged, flashing him a smile as his grip on your jaw tightened, two of his fingers pressing on your neck.

he brought his other hand up, thumb pulling your pouted lip down, lipgloss smearing on your chin.

“why not?” he read out the words. your eyes were glossed over, inviting him. you opened your mouth slightly, his thumb pushing against your tongue now.

he pulled away with a grin, shaking his head side to side. rafe searched in his polo shirt’s pocket, fishing out a small, white baggie and a hundred note.

you looked at the way his hands worked silently. he used a key to take some of the white powder out, his eyes shooting around for a surface. you rubbed your thigh against his, a gasp coming from your mouth when his fingers wrapped around it. his stupidly big, gold ring was cold against your skin as he sprinkled the white powder in a clean, straight line. his other hand rubbed circles on your calf as he snorted the line through the money bill.

rafe looked up at you, sniffing, before coming down, lips hovering over your thigh. he kissed the remnants of the white powder away before finally sitting up.

“you’ve got something…” he muttered, thumb brushing your chin, cleaning up the gloss he messed up earlier. rafe leaned closer, lips hovering over yours before catching your bottom one between his teeth.

you were the one who finally kissed him, painstakingly slow. his hand snaked to the back of your head, pulling you closer to deepen the kiss.

your lips were sticky against his, the strawberry taste overpowering the bitter one that alcohol left on your tongue. rafe sucked on your bottom lip, teeth barely grazing against it as he pulled apart. he admired his creation, sticky pink lipgloss all over your chin and kiss-bitten, swollen lips.

he kissed you again, groaning against you when you dragged his bottom lip with your teeth. it was so addicting, the way your fingers played in his hair, how you placed your legs over his lap to shift closer.

“you’ve got something.” you repeated his words from before, teasingly, and tugged on his bottom lip with your thumb.

“seems like you made a mess.” he mumbled, kissing the tip of your thumb before circling his tongue around it.

“seems like it.” and just like that, you were off him, getting up the stairs to leave. you knew you were leaving him frustrated and an annoying boner to deal with.

his fingers fell on his mouth, still tainted with the taste of your lipgloss. you waved goodbye over your shoulder before he could protest, and walked back inside the house. you knew he would run after you again.