i wake from this dream
(to see the sun has already set for me)
She decides that she likes this boy.
Likes in the same manner in which Ursula likes anything— in the way that is learned and thus chosen, a machination of the emotionless creature from which she was taught it. She sees in him purpose and, more importantly, a use. Of course it may be preferable to sink her talons into something softer, squishier, someone weak-willed and easily moved by the material. Money, sex, power— the usual suspects. It's the fact that he isn't that endears her to him, makes him something interesting. A challenge, something to pick apart and appeal to in a manner far more fun than the worse of men who might have been in his stead.
Ursula is silent as he speaks, eyes half lidded and smile unmoving, fox-like. She watches the clumsy entrance of a boy who, for all of the Lord Raymond's most impressive work of making the furs upon his shoulders fit, tells her all the places to look where it wears poorly. Tea is poured, an antique cup weighted comfortably between her fingers. As Raymond speaks still, she turns it gingerly in her hands, inspecting. A style that the waiting ladies of higher houses are likely to tease the others for keeping, perhaps fine decor for a cabinet in the memory of a mother. It is a sign that it remains in the home, one of the few niceties still left.
"I believe that you are deserving of honesty, my lord."
Her gaze slides up from porcelain to where his gaze awaits her own. Unhurriedly, she brings the cup's rim to her lips and drinks, a long slow sip punctuated with a pleasant 'hm' as her eyes reopen.
"You should not surprised by mine or my superior's interest because of your size or, frankly, your standing. What instead I implore you to be concerned with is that I am your first visitor and, if I am to guess, your only." She sets the cup down without looking away from him once, movements all languid and easy; a predator's. "You are weak." Her head tilts. "Or, at least, you are seen as such. To be thought of as weak makes you exactly that, for it is how you will be treated and what will be believed until disproven. Those in power should be clamoring to bite at what presents as an exposed throat, or to assess a new threat should they not find their new prey so willing."
The chair complains when she settles back in it, hands folded delicately upon her lap. "This means that the question is answered already, don't you think? That those who may have sat here before me have decided you a threat or unworthy of their time already. And if that's the case, which way do you figure the scale has tipped?"
She allows a pause only long enough to punctuate her words before humming.
"That serving boy, how old is he?" The question is phrased innocently, conversationally, her gaze wandering to the door. "Not new to your employ, I'd certainly imagine..."
So she was a liar, then.
No one who offered full honesty would proclaim it as such, and certainly not in the same breath as ignoring a direct question.
Raymond did not need to be told that his position was weak, that he was considered a liability to the Lycian Lords who sat council - these grown men who had watched as his father played pretend at success, masking the frayed edges that began to wear until it had been too late for anyone to turn a blind eye. More than ever, he felt it with sharp clarity that he was to their eye still a child.
His jaw ground, but he said nothing for a moment, lifting the teacup without drinking, simply pressing the porcelain to the firm line in his lips as though it might bring him some comfort, to think of it as his mother's hand on his shoulder.
Neither did he need to be reminded that she had been his court's only visitor, that these grown men had made him come to them to negotiate - to beg, in truth, clinging white-knuckled to his dignity with the force that might allow it to suffuse into the memory of his departed parents and their public shame.
His eyes narrowed. Perhaps she had answered his question, but he had been too naïve in the moment to notice it.
It was his weakness that was attractive to her.
"Connor? My…vassal. He - " Hesitated here, knowing the answer to her question, and knowing abruptly why she had asked it. 'You are weak.' "He is sixteen."
We grew up together, he did not add.
'You are weak.'












