we need to find the beating heart of The Job Market and we need to plunge a holy gleaming blade into it. its the only way to be free

hire me for just whatever

[fills out a job application] i can do whatever and am good at anything, my biggest weakness is i love too much

Smtimes your house is haunted because there's a ghost sometimes your house is haunted because you miss grandma and your mom misses her even more sometimes your house is haunted because the subtext of how the last owners decorated rubs you wrong way sometimes your house is haunted because you've sublimated the fact that you didn't want to move in the first place and Sometimes your house is haunted because there's a carbon monoxide leak. Lots of options.

“there’s an ai tool for that” okay ?? there’s probably an ed sheeran song for it too who gives a fuck

I love how some fics are called shit like "They Only Shoot The Birds Who Cannot Sing" and it's like the most insane porn you're ever read and then some fics are called Spit On Me and it's 18,000 words of the most achingly id-scratching prose you've ever read and they're both. They're both so fucking good. thank God for fanfiction.

please accept my sincerest oopsie daises

like im okay with being medium attractive and having a moderately clean house. instagram reels just bounce off of me like water off a ducks back

i hope im not just a mutual to you but also a really annoying stranger who is somehow always going through something

Smoking with mama

Baby need smoko

pirates of the caribbean really introduced an eldritch octopus man who kills indiscriminately and torments the dead as their poster villain and then you watch the movies and it's like, "oh no, actually the worst villain in this series is a small white british man who functions as the herald of capitalism" and that was very very brave of them

#here is a man so heartless he has literally cut his own heart out of his chest #but he's still not as evil as the fucking east india trading company