Heyyy I’m surprised and glad to see in the notes of this that I’ve apparently put words to something that people have trouble putting words to, but I wanna add something a little more productive to this as well.
My experiences aren’t universal but this is how I deal with it when I get caught in the Fun-Unproductive spiral, as someone with ADHD.
What’s something manageably small that you can quickly do towards ONE responsibility/health need?
- Quickly washing your face?
- Drinking one glass of water?
- Eating something easy, like peanut butter, or a bit of cheese or lunchmeat?
- Checking your messages from your friends?
- Looking at Canvas?
- Checking your e-mail?
How can you make it as easy on yourself as possible?
- Listen to music or watch a video you like while you do it?
- Doing a task from your phone, so there’s no extra steps (getting up, turning on computer)?
Get rid of imaginary limits.
- Do you think you have to do this at a certain time? Odds are, you could do it right now anyways. (i.e. brushing your teeth in the middle of the day, ‘cause that’s when you remembered, still gets some plaque off!)
- Do you feel you have to do this in a certain place? Try doing it somewhere new (more fun, or more comfy, or just closer to where you are right now).
- Do you think “I have/want to finish [blank] first”? It’s probably inconvenient (I know how it gets with momentum), but it might be for the best to contradict that this time!
- Do you think “I have to do this with NO DISTRACTIONS”? Maybe this is an exception. Not starting at all is less than patchy progress.
If you still find yourself shrugging things off in favor of continuing to hyperfocus…
…stop and consider how you’re thinking about “what you’re supposed to be doing.”
- Are you focusing on how “late” you are to start?
- Or how bad you feel that this “should be easy” for you?
- Do you keep saying you should do better/more?
- Is it difficult to even think about?
You should be able to comfortably think about the things you need to do.
It took me years to realize that my brain doesn’t HAVE to be a dichotomy between feeling so guilty I shut down completely, or jumping from distraction to distraction to make life bearable until I “inevitably” crash and burn.
Try to push yourself to focus instead on…
…demystifying obligations.
- What you do or don’t do in this situation is just an action, not anything more.
- What people may think of the way you go about things isn’t as important as just making sure you aren’t hurting yourself right now.
- You will physically feel better if you take a break.
- What did you do first the last time you needed to do this thing?
- How did you feel the last time you did this? Why?
…detaching your sense of self worth from the situation.
- You’re not bad or gross or lazy for struggling this way.
- (I think a lot of simple “No, you’re not’s” at myself like this.)
- You don’t deserve to be punished.
- You’re not screwing up something “easy,” because it’s not easy for you.
- It doesn’t matter who’s fault it is, what matters is doing what you can for your wellbeing.
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