For My PCOS Cysters

So I’m going to first say this blog is a really personal blog for me. This actually isn’t my only blog as I have a main one for all my random fandoms I love(d) over the years. But this one takes the cake of personal.

Let me tell you a bit about myself, my name is Adrianna. I was born into a big family of 6 kids and I live happily (for the most part) in California. I have struggled with my menstruation since I was young noticing an issue at the age of 15 as I had my first period at age 11 and had not yet become regular by 15.

I remember being worried about it and asking my mom about it and she would tell me she was never regular in her youth and that it was normal however I couldn’t shake the feeling then something was off. At my check up I talked to my doctor at the time and she told me I was young and that my hormones would regulate by themselves and not to worry and I could go on birth control to regulate. So being so young I tried to live my life that way and refused birth control then.

When I was 20 and had my first pap smear and my doctor asked me about my cycle I told her I was irregular and occasionally had long periods. She then told me to lose some weight as that would help me regulate so at the age of 21 I lost weight. A lot of it. I went from a size 16 to a size 8/10. I still did not regulate. I did get periods but I had horrific pain from cramps. There were times I just wanted to curl up in a ball and my sisters would joke that I acted as if I was dying. There were days it was heavy I was scared something was wrong but still like the doctors before brushed it off I too pushed it aside and went on birth control at 23.

I gained the weight back after a couple years and by 24 I went to another gynecologist and complained to her about my lack of menstruation after being on and off birth control for 2 years. She then ordered me blood tests and then just basically said I had high testosterone but didn’t say I had pcos and told me to lose some weight to help. I don’t know about any of you but I remember feeling so frustrated about my body. About lack of periods but not understanding why, not piecing it together that it was PCOS. I felt scared, I felt alone, I felt broken. And worst of all I felt so defeated that these doctors kept saying just lose weight, that it will regulate.

It wasn’t until this year (June of 2019 at the age of 26) that I received two huge diagnoses. One, me being HPV positive which was scary in itself waiting to hear if I had cervical cancer or just a precursor and the second, hearing I had PCOS. Let’s just say I went through a lot emotionally in that one month alone than i had in all of 2018 combined.

I don’t have cancer and I am beyond greatful I was spared a hardship so many women have had to face with cervical cancer but can I just say having PCOS sucks so much on its own. I have good days and I’m okay but then there are days that hit when I just want to cry and cry and cry because I haven’t had a period yet. Or because I worry I am so infertile I can’t have kids and I get scared and it’s hard.

I am currently single and not actively looking for a relationship at the moment for many reasons (my sister is getting married and I’m the maid of honor so I’m busy being one of them) but there’s days I question the point of it all. The point of me meeting a good man and dating for a period before getting married and settling down if I am so infertile. I don’t want to ruin someone else’s desire if I can’t conceive naturally. Those thoughts run in my head often enough that it’s now keeping me from truly dating again (at least for now).

I am writing this out and creating a blog out of this partly for my own venting on my not so great days and partly because I am sure there are other young people with PCOS who have felt or are feeling terrified and alone and I want you all to know you are not alone. I am here with you, walking beside you, going through all these thoughts just the same as you. I still feel sadness and anger (when I met God we gonna have some words about this) and I still bargain for something to change.

I am currently dating, I have talked about PCOS and what that meant for me to this man who I have gone on one date with and still am texting. This pandemic made me really think about my life and the past situations I was in. It made me leave behind one that was hurting me emotionally and mentally even though it felt hard to say goodbye, and it made me hesitant to get involved in another as that was not a good thing start at the time. Life is weird right now as we are all living in this pandemic. But it’s made me want to try to have a family. To be open to love again despite my condition with not ovulating and whacked out hormone levels. I am not actively trying to get pregnant of course but I am giving this man a chance to know the real me. The good and the bad and the ugly.

What also inspired me was my sisters wedding back in October, it was far from perfect and not just because of Covid. Her now husband was with a walker after a skateboarding accident with my nephew. Getting prepared for the wedding was a challenge and even dress shopping but through it all she was there for him and he for her and I realized I wanted someone to be there for me like that.

So my point darling cysters is this: if you are scared for the possibility of not having kids in the future will affect your love life, be open to that person you are considering to be with. Maybe it won’t work out or maybe it will. But just be open. I know it’s scary as I live it every day but personally for me I would rather live my life not in fear but in courage to try.

Now I don’t know what will happen with this man but I know this I am open to connecting with this individual, to be vulnerable. I took my time to really get here. To this place where I feel ready to be open again.

Control of TikTok in the US has just been given over to Oracle, a major tech company known for its closeness with the Trump administration. Today on Jan 22, 2026, the privacy policy and terms of service for using the app changed. You are not able to open the app unless you click “agree” on a new pop up, but they do not lay out what you are agreeing to. I took the liberty of reading the new tos and privacy policy and it is FUCKED.

DO NOT AGREE TO THEIR NEW TERMS OF SERVICE!!!

I am not done reading yet but I had to make a disclaimer right now because what I have read so far is so disturbing. I will make a full update once I have finished reading it all but so far some of the biggest things that have stuck out to me are

They have a whole section about medical data they are collecting. They are collecting data from videos, comments, and private messages posted as well as IDENTIFYING THINGS IN THE BACKGROUND OF VIDEOS AND BODILY CUES that may indicate physical or mental illness

They are also using the same method of scanning videos (both posted and unposted), CAMERA ROLL, messages, and comments for a variety of things including INDICATION OF IMMIGRATION STATUS. They specifically say they are collecting “sensitive information” such as ETHNICITY, SEXUAL ORIENTATION, GENDER (they specifically mention trans and nonbinary individuals), and IMMIGRATION STATUS.

They note that not only will this information be used for marketing and analytics (meaning they will sell it to other companies), it will also be used for legal activities, most likely meaning that, as many of us feared, they will be sharing all of this readily with the government

And in case you feel overwhelmed by this document, I have provided a summary on what this means for you. I read the whole thing and listed everything they can do with your information in list format for people who TL;DR or felt like the legal jargon was too confusing:

Please, for the love of god, read this. This isn't about "user data" or politics. They are selling your home address, immigration status, mental health conditions, and personal identifiers to your service providers and government authorities.

PCOS isn’t only intersex when it “could be” something else

PCOS isn’t only intersex if another condition is present

People with PCOS are fully within their right to claim being intersex even without external indicators

Even mild or “lean” PCOS

1. More commonly known, because it impacts around 10-20% of people with ovaries, and

2. taken more seriously as a chronic condition.

listen to your afab (assigned female at birth) and/or female patients. listen to every single detail they tell u about any concern, even if it’s something trivial. i have polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) and it took seeing four doctors over the course of six years to figure out what i had. six years of chronic pain almost every month. i was told that it was just “period pain”, srtress from school, my depression, my anxiety, etc. etc. heck, i was told it was normal (which PCOS is not). i know for a fact that if i wasn’t afab that i would have gotten whatever problem i had taken care of right away. we need to end the subtle sexism and stigma of having reproductive health problems and/or afab people having health issues in general and it starts with you.

sinncerely,

a tired and angry patient

Sincerely,