𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐊 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝑲𝑰𝑫

“No, I’m not hurt. Or looking for someone. I just don’t see why I should have to leave– I was here before you lot.” Baz wasn’t actually sure if that was true, but he fixed the auror with the same ‘I will not listen to reason’ look as if it was. “Why can’t you find a different alley to.. do whatever you’re doing in?” 

sturgis hadn’t expected that, he really hadn’t; that was surprising enough considering how long he’d been doing this, but more so when one considered that he wasn’t entirely unfamiliar with the unspeakable. “you have to leave because it’s in your own best interest.” the answer was automatic, sure, but for once, also very true – already sturgis wanted to strangle the man; not a good look for an auror, and certainly not one in uniform. “it’s a raid. you plan a raid and execute it in the location you planned it. you don’t plan a raid and then execute it elsewhere. ridiculous. did it go well? not the point. don’t be an asshole mate, don’t waste my time on this. do you actually need something, or are you just trying to see how far you can push me?”

it wasn’t just that sturgis’d grown tired of repeating himself, no that had happened ages ago;  the same set of lines, over and over, as he made his way up and down the alley. “Just stay calm, there is no need to push and shove! If you need assistance, get to an auror or flag one of us down! if you are uninjured, I need you to vacate this alley immediately! immediately! let’s go!” he snapped his fingers, hand rotating in that circular, universal, let’s hurry this along way, but .... really, crowd control was the least of his concerns – it wasn’t like he was going to be getting out of here anytime soon, no matter when the crowd thinned, and this clusterfuck was not going to be thinning out anytime soon, he was sure of it.

a cleared throat from behind caught his attention, though, and he put his game face back on, already speaking as he turned. “you alright there, mate? you hurt? looking for someone?”

                    ❝      aye   well   ,      ye   never   know   with   folk      ❞         and   evidentially   ,      he   didn’t   get   just   how   deep   her   need   to   not   be   a   burden   ran   .      how   hard   it   had   been   for   them   to   even   ask   this   .      because   it   was   uncomfortably   close   to   asking   for   help   .      ready   and   raring   to   reply   at   his   first   words   ,      how   did   he   know   that   ,      the   hand   to   keep   them   quiet   for   a   moment   or   two   longer   served   its   purpose   and   the   words   died   before   they   even   made   her   throat   .      nobody   wins   .      why   did   that   seem   almost   an   appealing   thing   ?   an   ideology   that   brought   hope   …      maybe   because   mary   was   running   out   of   ways   to   find   a   way   they   could   win   ,      a   way   were   the   other   side   would   lose   .      nobody   winning   ?      should   it   really   be   such   a   surprise   that   a   stalemate   seemed   nice   .         ❝      memories   with   marlene   and   peter   and   lily   and   the   like   …      a   don’t   want   to   miss   them   .   a   just   —   what   if   a   don’t   matter   ?      or   whit   if   it   happens   again   ?      how   long   am   a   gonna   be   lucky   for   ?      ❞         and   now   mary   wanted   to   kick   themselves   for   even   talking   .      all   this   doom   and   gloom   this   late   in   the   game   …      it   just   didn’t   make   sense   for   them   only   having   been   attacked   once   .   that   a   second   incident   had   occurred   ,      a   second   attack   .      one   mary   had   kept   hidden   .      their   words   hinted   towards   that   and   now   they   just   hoped   sturgis   wouldn’t   pry   .

sturgis wanted to point out that with some folk, actually, yes, you could know, could count on knowing before you even spoke, because they’d proven time and again their steady nature, but that wasn’t the point mary was making, and sturgis knew that, and also knew that a tangent into semantics was not going to make the point mary was attempting to make clear any easier for them to present comfortably.  “mary, i’m going to say something that i’m not sure you’re going to like, but that I think you need to hear. the only person in your life questioning your significance.... is you. it’s not your mates, it’s not your family, it’s not jess or myself, and, though this may come as a true shock to you, it’s not the person or persons who attacked you – you were significant enough to be worth attacking, as dubious as that may seem for reasoning. you’re the only one doubting you mary, the only one doubting your worth, or importance. the only one standing in your way. just you.” his eyes didn’t linger on the younger lion, leaving mary to come to terms with her thoughts with what small amount of space or privacy he could provide in not keeping his gaze on her. he knew perfectly well, as any who’d been in his post long enough would, that what mary had gone through, both similar and wildly different to that which so many others sturgis had met had experienced, had done plenty to change them, and in plenty of directions, but sturgis had never been an advocate on any level for throwing in the towel, with his divorce as the only example in his trophy case of quitting. “the people in your life want to help you. they want to help you through the hard times, no matter how hard, and they want to be with you to share in the good times, whoever’s good times they are. personally, with that kind of frustratingly inescapable support, support which i must tell you is a hell of a lot harder to come by so earnestly and genuinely outside the walls of that castle, I wouldn’t be so ready to pack it in. with support like that, really, I think ... well, hell, I bet i’d feel like there wasn’t anything that could stop me, since nothing else had managed the job of it yet.”

        “trying to remember where i left my pants last night. last time i left the room without any on the cat tried to use my legs as a scratching post.” jess does take a moment to pause their hunt as sturgis drew near enough, shifting onto her toes to press a quick kiss to his lips. “the zoo sounds good, if the weather’s good for it. if not we could see a film, no idea what’s playing but i’m sure it couldn’t be too bad.”

“that’s a pretty good one, as far as answers to that question go,” he admitted, snickering to himself – and really, how could he not? – even as he leaned down to help make that kiss a little easier for her. "we may have bare legs, but the brain is already firing on all cylinders, look at you,” he teased, not wasting the opportunity. “the muggle paper was threatening a whole day of sunshine, so i’m glad you already thought of a back up idea, because I sure as hell hadn’t. i’ll tell you what, though,” stu added, giving them a cheeky, though unmistakably affectionate grin. “for the price of just a few more kisses ... I will go and grab you a pair of pants to wear so that you can make it out of here safely. what do you think, sound like a fair trade?”

“what are you doing in here, what’s the hold up? breakfast’s gonna get cold.” it wasn’t, of course, and it wasn’t like either of them was in a rush, but sturgis still felt the need to be a little annoying, meandering through the house until he found her. “did you still wanna go to the zoo next week? we can do literally anything, I really don’t mind. zoo was an interesting choice though, gotta give you that.”

if he’d left even thirty seconds earlier, stu would not have found himself in the most hilarious family traffic jam in weeks. he was crossing the floor of the back room, heading out the door with a l l of the dogs in tow when he heard evan’s voice, and he’d moved quickly, yes, but really, stu could only hope that jess’ answer covered the sound of the door and ... the herd going through it. he didn’t wait to find out though, only getting enough distance from the house to travel with the dogs (who certainly knew the drill by now). popping up in diagon alley, though, he was laughing as he and the dogs got moving down the street, shaking his head as he replayed it for himself. ridiculous, maybe, but still fun. funny, at the very least. of course, no traffic jam could ever truly be escaped, because that would make life very boring, so sturgis shouldn’t have been surprised to be running into narcissa. and truthfully, he wasn’t; he wasn’t disappointed, either.  “don’t tell me you still haven’t finished your shopping, say it isn’t so,” he said, by way of greeting, though he did have a smile on his face. “I know you still need a pet, but I thought for sure you’d have everything else covered. procrastinating already, impressive.”

CLOSED

for: @pcdmorcs​

        “’scuse me, have you seen patience abbott around? she’s not at her desk, and i’d swear she said to meet her there this afternoon.”

now that was a request sturgis didn’t hear often. eyebrow raised, he whirled around pretty quickly, grinning. “no this department is completely out of patience, today. I thought they said they were going to put a sign up .... nah, I guess not.” a beat later, he laughed. “no, honestly, I haven’t seen her in a few hours. you can wait, though, if you’d like.”

.

“You know that both is a possible answer to that question?” he crossed his arms, ready to take advantage of what the other had just said. “You appreciate what I’m going through? You appreciate that I lost my husband?” Cain had always been cruel, by design and never had once stopped to ask himself if there was another way to live. His father had raised him that way, and this philosophy was, he once thought what kept him well and alive.

He didn’t like it as much now. He didn’t like, couldn’t accept, what this meant for Fahir. Did it mean that his husband was too weak? Too kind? Unable to fend for himself? An unspeakable was meant to be ferocious, and his husband could be ruthless. What had happened?

And so, at last, after having given the other enough time to grab a shovel and dig his own grave, the death eater smiled. “I’m joking. I appreciate the sentiment,” having someone willing to listen and accept to be yelled at was something.

“Don’t make me change my mind, asshole,” there it was again. That thick layer. His shield.

And so he walked alongside the Auror, heading to the hall, to get to the chimneys. “I suppose. I never really liked this place,” he admitted. Cain might have spent most of his time in abandoned houses and castles, hidden temples and forgotten churches, he found this administrative hell much more oppressive than his usual environment.

Stepping into the fireplace, he motioned to Sturgis, as if to say See you in a minute.

.

with his own arms folded, sturgis nodded. “I do, yep.” and, even at the second question – though there wasn’t a hint of a smile on his face, oh no, very solemn, our cecil – the nod continued. though the phrasing was a little .... lacking, sure ... there was only so many times the man could be apologized to for his loss; appreciation wasn’t always positive, stu maintained – art that hurt could still be beautiful, no? so he waited, unbothered, and resisting the urge to raise an eyebrow as a challenge, for cain to cut him even the slightest bit of slack. or yell, that was also fine. he’d definitely mentioned that that would be acceptable.

and maybe sturgis was a little too honest sometimes, or too blunt, usually. maybe he sometimes appeared callous or bitey because he didn’t wear the plastered on smiles of so many others in the ministry, even in the dmle where, if anyone had a right to frown every day, it was those guys.

he wasn’t bothered by difficult; not in attitudes or situations, and, really, stu kind of enjoyed the persnickety, prickly, sardonic humours of cain borgin. he was allowed, he’d decided. they’d certainly been familiar with each other long enough. “ooooooo, i almost did, though,” he joked back, pulling a hand out of the fold to point at cain with a grin. “I feel like you’d appreciate it if I keep my jokes to myself for now, though.”

still, as they made their way through the hall towards the chimneys, sturgis really only shrugged. “l like it best when i’m leaving,” he said, his own parting words before stepping through flames himself. and, when he stepped back through the ther side, brushing soot off of his shoulder, he was grinning once more. 

“how bout that, i already feel better. magical shit, eh?”

“Watch out, Tuna’s behind the chicken coop!” Ainsley called, thinking she deserved credit for warning Stu rather than watching him figure it out on its own. She carefully leaned the window screen she’d been putting in up against the side of the lighthouse, then walked round to be in view. “And– also watch out, there’s not floor in some of the kitchen right now. And watch out for excited chickens, they love that stuff.”

fucking hell, of course the swan was behind the coop somewhere. not that sturgis should’ve, or did, expect anything different. that swan had had his number since the very moment she’d figured out he was not, in fact, the same person as ainsley. “well I figured the chickens would be excited,” he hollered back, though stu’s eyes were now on the lookout for the swan, and less concerned with putting ainsley in his line of sight. “but I didn’t figure you were gonna be on the roof! what happened, did you need to feel tall again?”

“it’s never a social event unless someone comments on my height,” she says with a small smile, her eyes brightening at the puppy. “oh my god, it’s adorable.” she reaches out to pet it, rubbing behind the ears knowing that its something most dogs liked. “i’ve never had a pet other than owl’s. always wanted one. thank you for bringing it.”

“see, ‘cause it’s your birthday, i would’ve been willing to transfer all height-related remarks to jess, but ..... they’re short and went the wrong way, so i gotta wait ‘til they circle back.” stu grinned, feeling no guilt in his teasing, but when narcissa reached to pet oscar, he offered her up for narcissa to hold. “well, that’s oscar, and she is .. admittedly a very cute addition to the tribe. nothing other than an owl, though, I don’t know... that doesn’t sit right.  it’s your birthday, you should have what you want. if what you want is a pet, we can fix that very easily.”

                    it   was   easier   like   this   ,      easier   to   walk   and   talk   ,      their   mind   on   other   things   as   they   gave   air   to   their   worries   .      as   much   as   mary   had   come   to   trust   sturgis      (   and   jess   too   )      over   the   past   year   this   was   something   that   predated   all   that   .      mary   never   did   like   to   ask   for   help   ,      even   for   advice   .         ❝      am   just   no   wanting   to   be   a   bother   ,   you   know   ?   figured   you   mighta   seen   enough   a   me   or   at   least   enough   of   me   and   questions   being   in   the   same   sentence      ❞            questions   it   often   seems   they   never   would   get   answers   to   .         ❝      its   just   school   ,      am   meant   to   be   going   back   soon   and   am   just   no   sure   if   i   want   to   ?      no   sure   it’ll   be   good   for   me   or   if   me   even   just   thinkin’   this   is   them   all   winnin’      ❞

“in case you hadn’t noticed, i’m pretty hard to bother most of the time. like really bother,” stu pointed out, shooting mary a sideways glance. sometimes, mary did remind him of his sisters, other times .... not so much. sometimes, it really just seemed more likely than not that he’d never figure mary all the way out.  he’d waited her out, understanding, at least, that interrupting the train of thought that led to what mary needed to say being voiced would derail the nerve it had taken to say the words at all entirely. “you’re not a quitter,” he said, instantly, though he held up his hand to let them know he wasn’t finished with his thought. “on a personal level, I can see why this is on your mind, but, on a personal and a practical level, mary, that doesn’t make any sense. whether you go back or not, nobody beats you, nobody wins .. but you would lose, definitely. at the very least you’d lose out on a year’s worth of memories with your mates, memories, that, I assure you ... they want you there for. you’d lose out on your last real chance to just be a kid, even though we both know you aren’t one. and at most, you’re losing the opportunity to show yourself, forget everyone else, yourself, that you, and your education, and your livelihood, and happiness, matter.”