smartass

Statement of Y/N, regarding their time in servitude to the entity formerly known as One Direction. Statement begins.

ever since i learned abt the concept of networking i knew i was going to have to do everything alone and do it the hard way

i believe i can do everything in this life except feign interest and suck up to people

today at work i rung up a customer and the total was 12.30 and i said “12:30, reminds me of a clock :)” and they kind of smiled at me with confusion and i was like “like the time on a clock, just reminds me of it… 12:30” and they said “i have no idea what you’re talking about…” with an expression of supreme pity and gentleness. after that was finished i turned to my coworker next to me and said “i just bombed so hard with this clock comment” and then realized the customer hadn’t moved and was still standing right next to me. if my fate continues down this path, the customer will probably read this tumblr post as well

It is so fucking funny to me how easily scandalized some people are wym callout post for a cannibalism kink. Grow up. This is the nothingburger leagues and you're throwing up in the stands

It’s actually the peopleburger leagues

Blocking for being funnier than me

You know that thing would eat you if you died, right? *pointing to the false image of you that others perceive*

The first rule of fandom is have fun. The second rule of fandom is find an enabler and become an enabler. Yes you should write that fic. What if it was even hornier? What if it was angstier? What if you wrote it just for me?

if you're having trouble sleeping the best you can do is put a bright object close to your face and look at it for at least 30 minutes. if that doesn't work you can close your eyes but make sure to think really hard about a bunch of bullshit

we used to turn the tv on and just watch whatever was on there

Yes, it was frequently The Simpsons.

the "empathy fatigue" stuff is also very revealing because when you examine health professionals' self-reporting on the matter there is a specific type of person they describe losing empathy for- unsurprisingly, it's people with particularly chronic health issues and disability, drug users, people who "refuse to take care of themselves" and especially anyone with a health condition perceived to be "their own fault". very often what they describe as "empathy fatigue" is actually just the mask slipping on the seething contempt they already held

“what if kids identify with something and it ends up just being a phase-?” good. stop teaching and expecting kids (and adults honestly) to formulate permanent traits and ideas of themselves. everything in life is a phase. that doesn’t make it any less legitimate while you experience it. let people explore themselves and know it’s okay if what you think about yourself changes.