🐌🐌 in bio = no socials break/communication slowdown
🐌🥾💧🌱- It's Irrigation Season Baby! (who the fuck knows when I'm online)
Me: Mildly maniacal mountain man (approximate). Hugely enthusiastic and helpful, if sometimes brusque— my inbox is always open, same with my asks. I have a truly concerning number of interests, but at the core is creativity and learning. I love to push myself to learn new things and improve my skills. Ignore the associated wip graveyard please.
Hugely anti censorship. If you think that makes me problematic, good, screw off.
I'm over 30 and while intergenerational friendships are incredibly important, I'm bad at self censoring and like lewd shit, so 🔞 this is NOT a minor friendly space 🔞 If you're old enough to be online unsupervised then you're old enough to curate your experience: I am not the one to get upset with if you hang here anyway and see something you are uncomfortable with. I wont police where you go online, but I'd rather you not engage with my works, please look up 00s internet safety recs for minors.
Currently hugely into the Fallen Hero Games and very down to nerd out about the impacts of telepathy on sense of self.
I'm frankly terrible at tagging but I do my best: #my art and #my writing (plus #raz becker if you're looking for my Sidestep) are the most reliable...
Also trying to be brave and write/share fanfic:
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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how to guide on distracting yourself and your business partner from the Los Diablos summer heat 🕊️ (alt version for the peeping toms 👀)
Aka. what do you do when you believe you cannot be wanted in the same soft and reverent way as your puppet?? You lie about liking it rough during sex so the guy you hurt has a chance of hurting you back, of course!
my fav thing with the alphabet asks is picking a brief word that has letters im interested in knowing the answers to
JOKE for Ari, both sfw and nsfw parts <3
ask game can be found here!
thank you for asking! :D
SFW
J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)
what he feels is not rlly an angry kind of jealousy, as much as it is melancholic. he doesn't like it, when he sees Ortega flirting with other ppl, it's uncomfortable and annoying but those are feelings that are very quickly drowned by the knowledge that this is probably for the best
even back in his Sidestep days, Ariel was under no illusion that he would be able to live that life for long. a part of him always believed the Farm would catch him sooner or later, and even though that part grew smaller and smaller every year it never fully went away; he justified Ortega's flirting by arguing (with himself) that it's a good thing. it's good for Ortega to not get too attached, that means that when Ari is gone he won't suffer too much and he'll have an easier time moving on! and that's a good thing, its GOOD, IT'S DEFINITELY GOOD-
besides that there's the whole regene thing, the fact thet he would never be able to give anyone a "real" relationship bc he's... different. it's always going to be based on a lie, and he hates that. with Ricardo there's also the whole gay thing, and his reputation, and really it's for the best that their relationship was kept under wraps. besides all of that, there's also the secret extra buried reason that Ariel just believes that he destroys everything he touches. everything he does, everything he gets involved in, he's bound to mess something up, he'll corrupt it like a disease, its only a matter of time. so really, it's for the best that ppl don't get too attached to him
so i supposed the answer is that yeah, he feels jealousy, but he also believes that he's not entitled to feel jealous over anyone. any jealousy there is gets buried under a weird mix of anguish and relief and longing that he refuses to untangle, and then all of it gets pushed deep deep down so he can try to never think abt it ever again
O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
it takes a while, yeah. although, honestly, i think on a first impression Ariel can come off as more closed off than he is; truth is, he reacts to the way ppl treat him - if you're rude, he'll be rude back, if you're friendly he'll be polite, if you're charismatic he gets suspicious (that's the one exception). point is, if you're open with him, and you give him no reason to doubt you, he'll be open with you as well, though he's not gonna reveal everything abt himself all at once
its all a matter of trust, really, and his trust isn't as hard to get as he'd like it to be. if he's in a tense/life or death situation with someone and they prove they're reliable enough to look out for eachother, that's already enough, it's why he warms up to Ortega fairly quickly. he has his secrets but he also prefers to be honest when that's an option; depends a lot on the stakes involved as well
K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)
oh he's a surprisingly good kisser. even before he got much experience with it he's always been a quick learner and good to adapt in unknown situations... and he has an oral fixation but ill get to that later-
i think his kisses will vary depending on partner and context; he can be chaste and sweet just as much as he can do intense and breathless. i do think in a horny context he grows more aggressive as he gets winded up, lots of tongue and nibbling which can definitely get messy. at some point it stops being abt technique and just becomes an outlet for all his enthusiasm and overwhelm, which some ppl probably wouldn't enjoy as much
as for where he likes to kiss... god, everywhere, but i think the neck and shoulders, chest, stomach, back and inner thighs are his favorites. he also enjoys kissing scars, it's just such an intimate thing for him, and he often likes their textures
he likes to be kissed on the lips and neck, and on his hands and wrists. but he also enjoys kisses anywhere, especially in an intimate context
E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
he's boringly mature abt these things; a sit down and a serious talk, like adults are supposed to do. he'll let his partner lash out at him if they want to, he's very aware he's probably breaking their heart, and honestly he's definitely hurting as well. depending on the situation however it could end on an explosive argument... honestly i don't think there are many things that would make Ariel break up with anyone, unless it was abusive in some way or he got his trust severely betrayed
i can also see him trying to break up bc he doesn't want to hurt the person he loves... but that would be a very sad and probably not very convincing attempt
NSFW
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
he doesn't <3 or at least he tries not to. unfortunately for him he was cursed with a pretty high libido, so sometimes he doesn't really have a choice in the matter. when that happens he tries to make it quick and mess free, so it's not particularly satisfying or all that enjoyable, he just wants his body to calm the fuck down. he has shit to do! and its very important shit!! he can't be wasting time w this stuff!!!
as curious as he is abt p much everything else, he just never rlly felt compelled to explore his own body a lot, not when he's alone. that has to do with trauma, yes - humiliation can be a p good disciplinary tool, something his handler used extensively on him, and he hasn't really unpacked all of that yet. he also just has a bit of an odd relationship with his body... he doesn't hate it, but he doesn't particularly like it either. it's there. it's something he needs to take care of and be aware of to be a good fighter. he doesn't like looking or thinking abt it too much. he knows what he looks like but sometimes it feels like it's not really his body. so he avoids touching it, or thinking too hard abt it
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
he's weak for it, both giving and receiving. genuinely one of his favorite things, he loves to do it but is a bit hesitant on receiving it, just bc its so enjoyable he might cum too fast and that's just embarrassing/disappointing
he doesn't have that much experience, but again, he's a quick and adaptable learner, and this is something he genuinely enjoys, so skill is not going to be a problem for long. even while it is i think his enthusiasm would definitely make up for it as well. i do think he'd struggle a bit with deepthroating tho. would definitely gag on the first attempt every time, always needs to take a moment to remember himself to breathe and relax before he's able to do it
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
both giving and receiving: oral fixation, praise kink, orgasm denial, overstimulation, scent kink, primal play, spanking, pet play
strictly giving (NO receiving): body worship, bondage
the ones that keep him awake at night with guilt and a slight sense of bafflement: sadomasochism, dacryphilia, blood play, knife play
the one that he hates but cannot deny unfortunately does get him going: humiliation (but not degradation, that one's a no-no)
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
outside of Ortega, he has none. he avoided/straight up denied flirting with his targets back in his cuckoo days even when it would make his life easier, something that he did get punished for when it went directly against his handler's orders. his luck is that he often managed to get the job done either way, so the punishment was never that harsh. he's also demisexual, so sexual attraction is kinda rare for him, Ricardo rlly was the first person he ever felt anything for in that regard, Argent and Chen coming along years later
so he's very inexperienced, his saving grace being his telepathy (that he can't use on Ortega) and his great observational skills. early on he also does a lot of mirroring, paying attention to what his partner is doing and what they seem to enjoy and parroting it back to them until he's confident enough to start acting bolder. his downfall is how pent up and touch starved he is bc he's a loner who ignores his body's needs 90% of the time; that's the major reason he's so sensitive, and why it can be a bit of a struggle even when he does know what he's doing
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Some things about this post since getting quite a few notes:
1. If you see this post, highly recommend taking it as an opportunity to set a timer for 15 minutes and switch over to ACTIVITY YOU ENJOY. if after those 15 minutes, you want to go back to scrolling, that's okay!
2. Huge shout out to this popping up in my notifs often, bc I do go back to activity.
3. I think there are times where scrolling is fine. Right now, for example, I'm being connected to a machine for two hours to donate plasma and platelets. Yes this is a brag but it is also a time where scrolling is one of the few things I can do. (Though I will probably also read or watch something on phone lol)
Human/Mundane au Relynu... I really just wanted to play around with how the dunmer facial features would translate into a human one.
I feel like she's already pretty baby faced by elf standards so it was super fun to try and change that to a human face without totally losing her shapes <3
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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9- Describe a mundane day in your OC's life. (asking for modern au Relynu too! wow thats a lotta rhyming)
11- What does your OC carry around in their pockets? What about their bag? (also for modern au as well!)
14- Does your OC hold grudges? How good are they at letting things go? Do they believe in second chances?
15- What is your OC's fatal flaw?
Tysm for asking these I am so excited to answer
9. For the modern au I honestly am not sure...... I do know her ass is still galavanting in the woods doing stupid stuff though. definitely a lot of outdoor sports as well
11. In her usual setting (TES) she's got a stupid amount of hidden pockets with tiny notebooks. definitely a hidden knife or two both for utility and defense. When she's out and about she has a few hip satchels with potions and poisons to coat her weapons but she's got awful organization skills and has definitely had to make more than one trip to a healer after accidentally shotgunning frostbite spider venom.
In a modern au she absolutely has a swiss army tool on hand all the time. cracked as hell phone and a wad of cash too
14. Oh she ABSOLUTELY holds grudges. On a personal level she's okay at letting things go bc she's very confident in herself but on a business level she Never Forgets If You Stiffed Her and WILL make it your problem forevermore
15. Her fatal flaw is that she is obsessed with learning to a fault. If she were a mage she would be SO susceptible to dark corrupting tomes. Learning that she's dragonborn has her obsessed with theology and where it intersects with science and she will absolutely be delving into things best left buried (both physically and metaphorically).
In the dragonborn dlc she 100% almost does not make it out of apocrypha because of the effect that Hermaeus Mora has on her. Esoteric tomes will most likely be her downfall!!!!
okie, i clearly dont need much encouragement, (plus idk how much of this draft will make it to the final cut, you may or may not see these paragraphs again)
smut smonday, nothing explicit in this part yet tho
vvvv
Raz' hand had moved, sliding from Chen's shoulder and to his chest, between them and down. He felt clever fingers searching for a way inside his shirt— a crisp white thing of the sort that called for a tie, tucked securely into his pants. Its buttons were a criminal reminder that this was supposed to be a brief lunch break, that Chen should be working.
"No you shouldn't," Raz broke the kiss just enough to mutter the words along Wei's scarred jaw, successfully unbuttoning the shirt while he did.
"You really need to stop doing that." Distracted by Raz' wandering hands, now searching for a way past his undershirt, Wei didn't manage to sound, or feel, genuinely annoyed. He was the one choosing to spend time with a telepath, the one choosing to lick and nibble a path down said telepath's neck, the one enjoying how Raz actually moaned when Wei's mouth found his pulse.
im able to write a bit at least! follow the dopamine for a smutty wip rather than the main project, but trying not to feel too guilty over the delay on "hey there, Ric" updates. I super appreciate how patient and supportive everyone has been with that.
knock on wood everything I'm writing rn turns out coherent, if not, i have earlier drafts saved and am diligently marking the "?smokeaddled?" sections 😅
anyone want a preview from an earlier version of the smut for shits and giggs?
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Brain taking a break from art fight to write Ortega jorkin it apparently. 1,048 words, explicit, first person POV.
Ortega might still be reeling from the fact that Tegan is still alive but that doesn't stop his imagination from running rampant, especially when he's horny. Set sometime between the end or Rebirth and the beginning of Retribution before they re-establish their not relationship.
I've always had a good imagination. Not sure if that's been a good thing or bad thing historically, too easy to come up with worse case scenarios or ghosts to haunt myself with, but right now it's a good thing.
I think. Or maybe I'm just horny.
I mean, I can't pretend I'm not with the way I slowly stroke my cock, still slightly groggy from sleep, woken up half hard from dreams I don't remember. What I do remember is Tegan kissing me in the hospital. Warm, soft. Too soft really, like he didn't want to hurt me, or was he scared? About what it would mean? What does it mean? Apparently it means me fantasizing about more.
I can't pretend my hand is his, even if the emitters in my palm are smooth I can still feel them and the slight tingle of static. Would he like it? Would he even let me or would he be too worried I'd shock him? I mean, that was one time and it was over clothes, I just got a little too excited he was letting me touch him like that in the first place. The metal zipper didn't help. I'll be more careful next time. Maybe that's optimistic but what are fantasies for?
His hands are rough for a retiree. He always was too hard on them, I couldn't help but notice a few new scars with the old ones. I bet they'd feel good though, his warm, calloused hands stroking my cock. Would he do it fast or slow? Let's go with slow, make up for lost time. He owes me that much for not telling me he was alive.
No, don't go there, not right now when it's starting to get good. I push my boxers all the way down to stretch out fully on my back, closing my eyes and leaning back into my pillow with a sigh as I get comfortable. Ignore all the still lingering aches and pains from the museum fight, focus. He'd stroke me nice and slow like this. Would he kiss me while he did it? He would. Harder than he did back at the hospital, harder than he did in the past. Eager too, in this fantasy he wants me back. Wants me the way I want him. Like I always wanted him.
What was I so scared of back then? I've never been shy, did him being a man really make that much of a difference? I still caught myself staring at the way his lips wrapped around the end of a cigarette both then and now, the way they pursed against it and the subtle sunkenness below his cheekbones as he inhaled. Can't pretend I didn't notice the little flash of silver from the piercing in his tongue either. When did he get it?
What would it feel like?
I run a finger down the center of my shaft trying to imagine it. In the fantasy he's good, really good. The way he gently drags the tongue stud just under the tip of my head before dragging it downwards. How far down would he go? He'd tease me first I think, make me want it more, he doesn't know how bad I want it. I want him so bad it hurts, maybe it always hurt.
Then he'd go all the way down to the base of my cock, until his nose brushed against the hair down there. Would he choke? Would I want him to? No, he doesn't choke, but there is a sound as my cock hits the back of his throat. It's enough for me to make some embarrassing one's of my own.
"Oh, Tegan."
He'd like that wouldn't he? The sounds he could get out of me, breathing his name like a prayer. Or a curse. I'd want him to. If for no other reason than I wouldn't have to beg him not to stop. He wouldn't. He never did things in half measures.
I let out a groan that no one can hear as I increase the pace and pressure of jerking myself off. Its not as good as how I imagine his mouth feels but it'll have to do. For now. If I shut my eyes tighter I can almost see it.
His hair is so long now, would he let me hold it while he went down on me? Probably not, but this is a fantasy so I do it anyway. He moans against my cock as I tighten the grip on his hair and I can't help but answer it with my own.
I'm close but I don't want it to be over. Not yet. Not when the mental image of him deep-throating my cock is so clear in my head. The way his lips feel, the warmth of his tongue and the metal stud in it pressed against me. Slow or fast I can't even care. The sounds he makes. The sounds I'm making. How bad I want him. That he wants me back. He wants me back.
"Fuck!" My eyes snap open and there's only my boring old ceiling to greet me. My hand still pumps lazily with a mind of its own, warm cum pooling against my stomach. Would Tegan have swallowed if the fantasy were real? With reality slowly reinstating itself it feels almost embarrassing to think about it now.
I wipe my stomach with the bed sheet, changing them can be a problem for future me. For now I push the hair back from my forehead and wonder how an awkward kiss, hopped up on painkillers at the hospital could spark all of that. What's wrong with me? Maybe I'm just lonely. Maybe it's been to long since I was with anyone I could give a damn about.
And I do, don't I? I loved him and I never got the chance to say it. No, that's a lie, I had a million chances I just waited too long. Too scared of what it meant. Too scared of rejection.
But he kissed me. He's back and he kissed me and there's still that spark, I know it. Maybe my fantasies don't have to remain all that they are. What the hell are second chances for?
