Pawns Equal Kings

I saw this video today and it made me think of HER and the discussions we would have about how much I thought soccer sucked.

With all of this snow falling, it's days like today that make me miss this blog the most.

Our online portal was down for a week. SHE told no one. But not to worry, “our numbers have rebounded nicely.”

SHE just demonstrated for me how an Asian man was making it rain for small children yesterday. I find it harder and harder to act amused. 

Typos and incorrect letterhead usage couldn’t possibly be HER fault. Coworker meet bus. 

And with that...I’m out.

My excitement for when I get to see new blog posts as a follower.

That feeling when SHE interrupts your private conversation with a story that has no connection whatsoever.

That moment when SHE says something stupid or inane and I get the inspiration for a great blog post. 

Today might be my last day but SHE is really bringing the thunder this morning. As I had predicted back in January, SHE just took her kid in to the doctor yesterday so of course SHE felt the need to compare weights and sizes with me. My kid - PATHETIC 50%. HER kid - 99%!!! That’s right, she pulled out the whole 99% again and is doing that fake laugh/whimper voice about HER kid being so big.

Tomorrow is my last day here at work and my last day to post about HER. Of all the things I’ve accomplished in my career, this blog has been my greatest achievement. Luckily the future of the blog is in good hands as her cube neighbor will be taking it over and keeping us all apprised of her daily rantings, issues, baby talk and everything else that she says and does. Godspeed my friends.

There isn’t a specific story behind this post. It’s just a topic of conversation that never ends.

SHE was on the phone talking about HER upcoming vacation and she bemoaned the fact that SHE had to rent a mini van now that SHE has a kid. Oh yeah, you REALLY hate all of the trappings of being a parent.

During a phone conversation SHE was just having that was literally impossible not to hear, we’re pretty sure she pronounced the name of St. Xavier High School more like a combination of egg + savior.

HER ability to spout out cliche phrases is uncanny. “Shape, fashion or form.” 

SHE continues to update us on the size clothing her “toddler” now wears - 9 month old clothing if you must know. Although, I’m nearly positive that SHE made this same claim a month ago. Is my fake enthusiasm noticeable yet?