Paul McCutie

I just want to turn you down

I just want to turn you around

Oh you ain’t never had nothin’ I wanted but

audience: 

By far the most disturbing though, upon reflection, was an older man who told me: “keep your innocence as long as you can”.

This was definitely about sex, there is no mistaking it and it made me feel weird and uncomfortable and now I look back on it it’s just… So fucked up.

I mean, how terrible is that that a girl’s sexuality is linked to her “innocence”, and following this linguistic logic when you’re no longer a virgin you’re “guilty”.

And that is how it made me feel, that was the weirdness I felt. I felt guilty. Because I had “lost my innocence” before I was ten, without my consent and I told no one.

The act of having sex for the first time is neither a moment of losing, nor gaining, not inherently. It’s a neutral act really, then we attach emotional language that is constantly geared towards reinforcing societal expectations of women and girl’s sexuality.

Pure, impure.

Clean, dirty.

Intact, broken.

Innocent, guilty.