Kitchens are not my strong point. Nor any activity which commences in such a place. Back to eating out.

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@paulfrankrizzo
Kitchens are not my strong point. Nor any activity which commences in such a place. Back to eating out.

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Foods we'll serve at my funeral: a list
1. Soft Pretzels and Yellow Mustard
2. RockStar Energy Drink
3. Beef Jerky
4. Steak Sandwiches: Hell Yeah, but No Cheese!
5. Rib-Eye Steak
6. Iced Tea
7. Bul Go Gi (Korean BBQ)
8. Kalbi Beef (Korean BBQ)
9. Slurpies (All Flavors, Except Blueberry)
10. Orange Juice
11. Lemon Juice
12. Vinegar
13. Cesar Salad with Croutons: Oil & Vinegar Dressing
I might need to hit a grocery store today. But, yeah, these are some of my favorite foods. List yours in the comments.
I Love Waking Up to Really Loud LawnMowers. #PieceOfMind Just Fucking Love it.
Example: You wake up all groggy and tired. Haven't even had Caffeine yet. Head to the computer to Read your RSS Feeds. But you gotta launch iTunes and play something to block-out the noise of the goddamned neighbors' mowing lawns with the loudest lawn mowers ever made. It's just a giant "hum" permeating the entire neighborhood. And these aren't the little push kind, they are the big bad riding mowers; like the one Forest Gump drove in that movie--but larger and louder.
And the best part is, you can't even focus on what you're reading.
And who wears a fucking Hard Hat while riding a mower? Are you in the band "Devo"? You look like a fucking moron. And you are not going to get hurt if you fall off the thing. It only goes 5 miles per hour. You old wanker!
Jolly Fucking Day!
Another Live Version
Album Version
I haven't given a Shit about Video Games since I was 14. Grow the Fuck Up, People.
Wishing Human-Robots would STOP giving Scripted Answers that don't apply to the situation. Talk & interact Like Humans!

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Is it Physically Possible to get any More Salt on a Pretzel. WTF? #SodiumNap
ChainSaws must be really popular in my neighborhood.
Olympic Physical Activity promoted Every 4 Years. Eating Cheese promoted Every Day. Priorities?
If elected President, I will BAN LEAF BLOWERS permanently. And that Beeping Noise Trucks Make Backing Up.
Ever Notice how "Get Well" can easily translate into "Go To Hell" ?

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Human Beings will go out of their way to Withhold information from you. Either that, or they're just Fucking Stupid.
I make really good Salads (read more)
Today, I made a Salad that has Croutons, Onions, Tomatoes, and Egg, on top of Iceberg. Yeah, I normally don't do Iceberg, but I got one of those "Salad-in-a-Bag" at the Grocery Store. I put the toppings mentioned on the Salad. Straight Red-Wine Vinegar--No Oil. 8 TableSpoons.
I also make a great Tomato Salad. And I have been, since I was a Kid.
It makes me wonder about the Shitty Salads you get in Restaurants! So small, so wilted, so cheap, so shitty. It's NOT hard to make a good fucking salad. Seriously, just buy the Bag Salad ($3) and pour the entire bag in a large bowl. Value, MotherFucker!
The only good restaurant salads, that I could recommend, are from the CheeseCake Factory. However, those morons can't figure out how to seat people in a timely manner. Fuck waiting in line when you are with a group of people, and hungry.
Occasionally, a locally-owned Diner might have a good, large salad (if you pay $9-$15 for it). But there is always something missing from them--or they use a few wrong ingredients, or totally wrong dressing. Not to mention the hit-or-miss Waitress Experience. Most of them are lousy, attitdue-prone, minimum wage robots reading scripts.Β #FuckEm
Make your Salad at home. It's cheap, fun, and you can add whatever the fuck you want to it. And you can also control the "dressing." Forget all that Sweet, Shitty-Tasting, High Fat, High Cream Junk you are forced to use at Restaurants.
And by the way, when the fuck did they start putting Salad Dressing on HamBurgers at Red Robin Restaurants? Fuck That! Who wants piss running down their hand and arm while trying to eat a $15 HamBurger? No Thanks.
Come to think of it, I hate eating at Restaurants--the whole experience; from the Shitty way they "Greet" you, to taking my Drink Order and then Hiding for 15 Minutes. WTF?
Grocery Stores, you just got a New Best Friend. #BFF
Every Large Purchase comes with a Monthly Subscription. Here's most of them. Please add yours.
Every Large Purchase comes with a Monthly Subscription: 1. House, Electric, Ins, Mort, Rent 2. Car, Gas, Insurance, Tolls 3. School Diploma, Tuition, Books 4. Bed, Sheets, Laundry 5. Food, TP, Beauty Products 6. Computer, Internet, Content 7. TV, Cable, Movies 8. PayCheck, Taxes 9. Girlfriend, Dates 10. Gym Membership 11. And then you die! --Talk About a PrisonPlanet.
I'm so glad #5ReasonsIHateFacebook is Trending on Twitter. Can't wait for that POS Website to DIE.
How many things keep you Busy? How many things get you Results? There is a Difference!

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Reminded of how much I hate Yuppies. Any out there: Go Fuck Yourself.
Photo illustrating exactly what's wrong with today's society: