Patti Mandel

Don’t forget to remind yourself that you’re on a different path. It’s not worse, it’s not missing something, it’s not less fulfilling, it’s not void of joy, it’s not void of love, it’s different. We don’t have the same goals. We are in different places in our lives. We value people, relationships, knowledge and things differently. We see things through a different lens. Now is not the time to be distracted by noise. Now is not the time to lose direction. Now is the time to look inside, find the strength, and with confidence express pride in your path because it’s uniquely yours. You bring your unique set of skills and experiences into everyday. How you harness your unique skill set will lead you down your path. 

Rolling into my last semester of my associates degree is weird. I still feel ashamed that it’s taken me 20 years after graduating high school to get here and I also have an enormous amount of pride that I’m accomplishing this goal. While I like to encourage others to celebrate their successes, I’m struggling with doing the same for myself. I believe it’s important to reflect and recognize that you’ve accomplished a goal even when it doesn’t happen to your preferred specifications. That being said, over the past couple weeks I’ve finally taken the initiative to tour some college campuses of schools I’m considering transferring to. This has really pushed me out of my comfort zone. I’m surrounded by new high school graduates and their parents who are experiencing this transition together while I’m navigating it alone and much older. Therefore, with this small success I’ve accomplished on my path I want to remind myself that it’s acceptable to be proud of what I’ve accomplished. It’s acceptable to express this pride without also brushing it off in the same moment. It’s a big deal that all the hard work I’ve put in is going to afford me the opportunity to decide which college is worth my time. 

Attending is a success. Completion is a success. Setting and working on your next steps is a success. Allowing yourself to be human and accepting your accomplishments for what they are is a success. This is a reminder to be more gentle with yourself while on the path to success. 

Something I struggle with occasionally is, I express a challenge I’m experiencing in a way that I want someone to have an understanding of what I’m currently working through. The typical reply I get is “that’s college”. 1. That is the least helpful reply. 2. This implies the college experiences don’t equate to real life. 3. I’ve had much more challenging situations to work through in career and life-it just happens that the college experience it the most relevant to me right now. 

What I’m trying to accomplish is engaging in more intellectual conversations. What many people don’t understand is that I’m really excited to have the opportunity to tackle these challenges that I face in college. Maybe I should learn to phrase how I express myself differently so I have more of a chance to have intellectual discussions regarding the challenge. Or maybe I need to have these conversations with people who didn’t go to college just to tick something off of their list. Or maybe I need to have a clever reply to those who choose to give the ‘been there, done that’ attitude. 

Ok.. Here it is, world. I’m 37 years old and I went back to college full-time to earn my undergraduate degree. There’s plenty about this that is uncomfortable. I’ve been very selecting in who I’ve told this information to because I don’t enjoy having these conversations. On the other hand, I’m very proud and excited to do the work. As it turns out, I’m a very good student regardless what all of my high school teachers said. However, I’m coming to a turning point where I need to work on my “brand”. 

How do I market myself? How do I confidently state where I am in life without down playing these accomplishments? How do I express that I’ll be graduating in a couple years without being shameful that I didn’t do it sooner? I don’t currently have the ability to see what I’m doing as a point of pride. I know that I’ve made the right decision. I also realize that one day I’m going to look back and understand that there was no other path to get me where I’m going that would mean as much to me. I believe that is powerful.