going to put kate back on my multi for the time being š«¶

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@pastmade
going to put kate back on my multi for the time being š«¶

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#nctafraidā.Ā Ā Ā identification:Ā kevin,Ā ryan.
Kevin didnāt know how badly he needed the reassurance from Kate. He didnāt realize how much tension he had been holding in his shoulders, his jaw, where he kept all his feelings boxed up neatly to come back to at a later date. When he didnāt feel like he had to carry the entire weight of the downfall of their team. He hadnāt cried, but he was close. The night everything went down, he found himself lying on the couch, his head in Jennyās lap as she ran her fingers through his hair. There werenāt any words said, instead silence filled the room as she gave him the room he needed to process. The silent reminder that no matter how bad things got, he was always going to have her by his side. His wedding ring felt heavy as he remembered the promise they made to each other, and how badly he needed her right now. To remind him that he didnāt destroy every good thing in his life.
āIām your partner Kate.ā Present tense, he wasnāt ever going to stop being her partner. āI should have been there to back you up.ā He knew he was just repeating himself, but he didnāt really care either. But her words hit him hard, his breath taken away as the truth that she really wasnāt upset with him really sank in. And he felt the blame he had been putting on himself crack for just a moment. That maybe it wasnāt completely broken. āIām really glad I made it on time.ā He didnāt need to mention that he replayed in his mind what would have happened if he had waited just a second longer. āI donāt know if he will.ā The truth this time. Kevin unsure if Javier was ever going to actually forgive him, because he knew that his partner had a troubled past, had a hard time trusting people. āYou know how long it took him to trust me when I first got here. To him I broke that trust. I donāt think I can get that back from him.āĀ
the memories come back in a rush;Ā Ā Ā a wave washing over,Ā Ā Ā dragging her right underĀ Ā Ā &Ā Ā Ā filling her lungs completely.Ā Ā Ā ryanās resistance in going forwardĀ Ā Ā āāĀ Ā Ā in telling her to stop,Ā Ā Ā coincided with rickās words for her to back downĀ Ā Ā āāĀ Ā Ā to stop running head first into dark waters without a boat or light.Ā Ā Ā they were a lot alike the pair of them,Ā Ā Ā the moral compassĀ against her and espositoās recklessness.Ā Ā Ā no matter the disagreements between them,Ā Ā Ā sheād always respect himĀ Ā Ā āāĀ Ā Ā always view him as part of her family.Ā Ā Ā āyou did what a partner should.Ā Ā Ā you had my back,Ā Ā Ā just in a different way.āĀ Ā Ā Ā she sees it all now,Ā much clearer than her head had been;Ā Ā Ā far too blinded by the past,Ā in uncovering what lead back to her grief.Ā Ā Ā āi still wouldnāt change anything.Ā if i had to go back.Ā i canāt change what my motherās case does to me.Ā iād be lying if i said i wouldnāt throw myself head first into itĀ every single time.Ā but i think i knew deep down inside that...Ā nothing bad could happen to me,Ā not completely.Ā not when my partnerās were always there to save me.āĀ Ā Ā itās what made them a great team;Ā Ā Ā the three musketeers.Ā Ā Ā (Ā Ā before theyād gained a fourth.Ā Ā )Ā Ā Ā they all had one thing in common at the end of the day;Ā Ā Ā uncovering the truth,Ā Ā ensuring each of their victims lives werenāt shoved away in some box gathering dust in age while the sun sets and the moon descends.
āweāve been through too muchĀ Ā Ā āāĀ Ā Ā youĀ Ā Ā &Ā Ā Ā espo have been through far too muchĀ for something like this to destroy the partnership you guys have built.Ā Ā Ā you know him,Ā Ā Ā heās stubborn.Ā Ā Ā he needs time to get over his egoĀ Ā Ā &Ā Ā Ā realise you were right,Ā Ā Ā that we shouldāve executed the plan better.Ā Ā Ā otherwise heād be blaming himself for my deathĀ for the restĀ of his life if you hadnāt saved our asses.āĀ Ā Ā she almost sighs,Ā Ā Ā keeping it containedĀ Ā Ā &Ā Ā Ā swallowing the lump in her throat.Ā Ā Ā āiāll talk to him.āĀ Ā Ā itās the least she could do,Ā Ā Ā &Ā Ā Ā besides,Ā Ā Ā she hadnāt spoken to him since that day,Ā Ā Ā since they were stood in gates office handing over their badgeĀ Ā Ā &Ā Ā Ā gun,Ā Ā Ā when kate had finally decided to throw it all awayĀ Ā Ā &Ā Ā Ā give up her dream.Ā Ā but this was more than her,Ā Ā Ā it was about kevinĀ Ā Ā &Ā Ā Ā javier.Ā Ā Ā those two werenāt one without the other,Ā Ā Ā it was always the two of themĀ Ā Ā āāĀ Ā Ā she couldnāt be the reason it suffered.
ššæš¾ššøšµš Ā ššš°šæšæš“š³:Ā Ā @lingeringscarsā. # 44 / 100 Ā (Ā what a time. Ā )
āi wonder if my mind just leaves out all the bad parts.ā
BUTĀ NOW...Ā IĀ WANTĀ TOĀ BEĀ MOREĀ THANĀ Ā WHOĀ IĀ AM.
šŗš°šš·š“ššøš½š“Ā ā šŗš°šš“ āĀ š±š“š²šŗš“ššĀ from abcāsĀ Ā š²š°ššš»š“ . est. january 2017.Ā Ā re-est. november 2022.Ā Ā Ā Ā©
ššæš¾ššøšµš Ā ššš°šæšæš“š³:Ā Ā @nothiefā. # 22 / 100 Ā ( Ā crisis. Ā )
āi wish that i could open my eyes and the nightmare be over.ā

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ššæš¾ššøšµš Ā ššš°šæšæš“š³:Ā Ā @thisismystageā. # 7 / 100Ā Ā (Ā as it was.Ā )
āsophie,Ā youāre no good alone.Ā why are you sitting at home on the floor?ā
In honor of SPOTIFY WRAPPED,Ā send me a number 1-100 and Iāll write you a starter based on the song.
#NCTAFRAID.Ā Ā Ā ID:Ā RYAN, KEVIN.
The moment replayed a lot in his mind, Espo on the ground. He thought that his partner was dead, that he was too late. Kate was hanging off the side of the building, how he had to throw his hand down and hope that he could catch her before she fell to the ground. How he slipped forward and the guys behind him had to keep him grounded so they both didnāt go over. He didnāt regret saving her life, in fact he knew somewhere inside of him that he made the right choice. But he was still paying the price for it. Kevin had to carry the weight of the choice he made. Javier hadnāt talked to him, which Kevin expected. With Kate gone and Espo being suspended, he was working himself into the ground to try and keep on top of the piling cases.
Jenny was concerned, worried that her husband was shutting down. And maybe he was, because some of the guys in the station wouldnāt talk to him, upset with the fact that he went to the Captain instead of backing up his team. Most of his breaks were spend down in the morgue with Lanie instead of upstairs. At least with Lanie they could pretend things were normal and that Kevin didnāt ruin some of the most important relationships in his life. He didnāt expect to run into Kate, it had been maybe a week since everything happened, but he wasnāt upset about it either. Her and Espo had walked out of the captainās office pretty quick and he was too scared to reach out to either of them. āI could have found another way to do it.ā He shrugged, not sure if he believed the words himself. āI ruined the team. Javi wonāt talk to me, no one wants to be my partner. Gates says that itās budget cuts but Iām pretty sure thatās not it.ā He knew that he shouldnāt be talking about his own problems when everything between them was so up in the air. āWhy arenāt you mad at me? You should be mad at me.ā She said he saved her life, but he ruined everything in the process.Ā
reality still hadnāt settled;Ā whether it be with her future ā the career sheād worked so hard forĀ (given everything up for)Ā or the new found relationship that ignited something deep within her she hadnāt quite known was there.Ā she hadnāt called the boys,Ā couldnāt bring herself to dial espo or ryanās number,Ā Ā hear disappointment or pleadings sheās not ready to deal with.Ā until now.Ā Ā Ā āyou could of.Ā or you did what had to be done.āĀ Ā Ā she can already see whatās settled on his face,Ā whatās riddled between tired eyes and heavy shoulders waying him down.Ā Ā Ā āif anyone ruined the teamāit was me,Ā ryan.Ā you signed up for a partners,Ā not somebody after their own agenda.Ā i brought you and javi into this mess.āĀ Ā Ā and sheād never forgive herself had it been either of them in her place.Ā a part of her still blames herself for their former captain;Ā unable to wash the blood that had nestled between the cracks of her nails and embedded itself through her bloodstream.Ā sheād been too caught up in herself ā in her motherās case,Ā that she hadnāt thought about the consequences in those around her.Ā not till montgomery ā till she was about to slip from a sky high building.
āwhy am i not mad at you?āĀ Ā Ā disbelief washes across,Ā brows lifting as she stares at him,Ā unable to hold back the sigh as her shoulders sag.Ā ābecause! if it was you or espo out there i wouldāve done the same damn thing and iĀ would have neverĀ forgiven myself if anything happened to either of you.āĀ Ā Ā theyāre too deeply entwined,Ā years of damage binding them together;Ā thereās no other way she can envision her future than without those two right by her side.Ā Ā Ā āmaybe espo doesnāt understand,Ā but i would have diedĀ out there,Ā ryan.Ā i no longer cared about my teamāmy partners.Ā i got so caught up in my motherās case i let you all pick up the pieces.āĀ Ā Ā her head shakes,Ā unable to tear her sight away from him,Ā the events from a week ago still vivid ā still replaying over and over again.Ā Ā Ā āheāll come round,Ā you know?Ā you just have to give him time.āĀ Ā Ā her and espo were all too alike;Ā stubborn,Ā unable to accept the right from the wrong no matter where it takes them or how much it almost kills them.
no cause, when am i gonna get a thread where somebody is a fan of the nikki heat series cause ⦠i mean, yes
Q:Ā HOW ARE YOU RUINED? A:Ā ruined by fury.
you are angry.Ā Ā you are angry and everyone knows it.Ā the fire within you will not die,Ā cannot die.Ā for if it dies,Ā you wont have a reason to burn.Ā Ā your rage simmers close to your chest,Ā it boils near something you wont touch.Ā you are angry because it is easier than anything else.Ā you are angry because you choose it over pain.Ā you are ruined because you cannot feel anything but your own ire.

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įµŹ°įµ š«š¼šŗš»š š»š¶šš©š¶šæ .
āĀ it couldāve been a lot worse . Ā ā
šš¶šš¼ šš°š®š¹š²ššš®Ā | Ā sent by @glimpseusā.
her gun still hangs in the air,Ā cheeks flushed from the recent events that had transpired,Ā her breath still catching as her chest rises and falls.Ā slowly her head pans,Ā almost gawking at the other as she stares before squinting,Ā head shaking.Ā Ā Ā āreally,Ā you think?!āĀ Ā Ā unbelievable.Ā her weapon quickly lowers,Ā tense posture slowly loosening as she tucks loose curls hitting her face from the wind behind her ears.
she shoves her gun into its holster,Ā heels carrying her over to the edge as she looks down the cliffside to where their suspect floats,Ā a boat with officers already on their way to collect him.Ā Ā Ā āremind me to never call you for backup again.āĀ Ā Ā leaning back,Ā looking over her shoulder to vito.
įµŹ°įµ š«š¼šŗš»š š»š¶šš©š¶šæ .Ā
Ā āĀ please , Ā just let me explain myself .Ā ā
šøš²šš¶š» šæšš®š»Ā |Ā sent by @nctafraidāāā.
thereās an eerie emptiness to her;Ā the body she inhabits feeling no longer her own,Ā a place thatās become far too foreignĀ ( and not at all one to call home )Ā for the first time in her thirty seven years.Ā maybe itās pure adrenaline,Ā the aftermath of each event that occurred not having been fully processed;Ā as her ears still ring from the wind and her fingers still cramp and slip all too quick as sheās taken back to the edge of that building.Ā lifeāher life all but dangled,Ā ready to meet its fatal demise.Ā i donāt care,Ā i donāt care.Ā not anymore.Ā Ā who had she become to no longer care;Ā for herself,Ā for this case?
thereās a sigh hanging in the back of her throat,Ā a part of her thatās already accepted defeat.Ā Ā Ā āyou donāt need to explain.āĀ Ā Ā there it is,Ā the heaviness sitting on her shoulders that quickly plunges into the pit of her gut upon finally looking in the others direction.Ā theyāve been friends and partners for years,Ā but it might be the first where sheās unsure where they now stand.Ā Ā Ā āyou saved my life,Ā ryan.āĀ Ā Ā the sigh falls then,Ā her eyes closing momentarily as shoulders slowly slump.Ā Ā Ā āyou did what you had to do.āĀ Ā Ā a beat,Ā a pause,Ā as she swallows the small lump sitting in her throat.Ā Ā Ā āwhat any one of us wouldāve done.āĀ Ā Ā lips twitch,Ā something all too bittersweet as she thinks this might be it ā might be goodbye.Ā Ā Ā āyou wouldnāt be you if you hadnāt told gates.Ā itās why we work well together."
AĀ VERYĀ DESCRIPTIVEĀ PROFILEĀ OFĀ YOURĀ MUSE. Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā repost Ā with Ā the Ā information Ā of Ā your Ā muse Ā , Ā including Ā headcanons Ā , Ā etc Ā Ā !Ā
NAME.Ā Ā katherine houghton beckett. AGE.Ā Ā 37 ( canon verse ) 43 ( todayās current age ) SPECIES.Ā Ā human. GENDER.Ā Ā cis female. ORIENTATION.Ā Ā bisexual, biromantic. FAMILY.Ā Ā jim beckett ( father, alive. )Ā johanna beckett. ( mother, deceased. )Ā richard castle ( husband, post season six. )Ā alexis castle. ( step-daughter, post season six. )Ā lily castle ( daughter, post season eight. )Ā jake and reese castle. ( twin boys,Ā post season eight. ) INTERESTS. Ā Ā Ā reading,Ā ice-skating,Ā camping,Ā solving murders. PROFESSION.Ā Ā nypd homicide detective. BODY TYPE.Ā Ā tall,Ā lanky,Ā slim,Ā toned.Ā EYES.Ā Ā hazel with hints of green around the rims. HAIR.Ā Ā Ā golden brown,Ā wavy and long,Ā hangs below shoulders. FACE. Ā Ā Ā sharp features. HEIGHT. Ā Ā Ā 5ā²9ā³. COLOURS. Ā Ā Ā purple,Ā red,Ā earthy tones ( browns and greens),Ā blues. FRUITS.Ā Ā cherries,Ā apples,Ā pomegranate,Ā bananas,Ā cherries,Ā mango,Ā oranges,Ā rockmelon. DRINKS.Ā Ā lives off caffeine. ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES ? Ā Ā Ā whiskey or beer is her go to,Ā but otherwise wine or anything strong / can get her drunk quick. SMOKES ? Ā Ā Ā no. DRUGS ?Ā Ā recreational in her youth. DRIVERS LICENSE ? Ā Ā yes.
no but you donāt understand im obsessed with the audio i put in my pinned because it really ties together not only my url but the entire theme of this blog in kate being so driven by her past but always wanting to be so much more than it
āŖĀ Ā Ā įµŹ°įµ š«š¼šŗš»š š»š¶šš©š¶šæ . Ā Ā ( Ā a Ā collection Ā of Ā various unsorted sentence startersĀ . Ā adjust Ā phrasing Ā as Ā necessary .Ā Ā will be updated frequently .Ā Ā )
why are you here ?
drive .Ā drive fast .
i think we should make an informed decision .
are you coming or not ?
youāve been avoiding me .
[ name ] , Ā what were you thinking ?
this should be your priority .
let me hold you for a minute .
get out of my way .Ā i wonāt tell you again .
that wasnāt supposed to happen .
can you keep a secret ?
i donāt know what i did to deserve you .
you seriously think i couldāve done something like that ?
youāre safe with me .
sorry isnāt good enough .
where is all this coming from ?
who told you about that ?
sorry iām late ,Ā i got caught up .
youāre being paranoid .
why are you looking at me like that ?
youāre the single most important thing to me .
all iām asking is that you hear me out .
whatever they told you ,Ā itās a lie .
we shouldnāt stick around here .
hold my hand ,Ā i donāt want to lose track of you .
[ name ]Ā ā¦Ā truth or dare ?
i love you .Ā nothingās gonna change that .
can you tell me what happened ?
you canāt come around here anymore .
back off ,Ā okay ?
what ,Ā you donāt have time for me anymore ?
youāre asking for too much .
iām trying to start a new life .
what do you mean ,Ā you arenāt coming back ?
sometimes i think you must hate me .
why canāt we just talk about this ?
i know i fucked up , Ā you can stop rubbing it in .
youāve got quite a reputation .
iām not usually like this ,Ā iām sorry .
please ,Ā just let me explain myself .
i love watching you work .
weāre on the same team .
did you ever tell anyone ?
youāve got a lot of explaining to do .
really funny ,Ā youāre very mature .
you call THAT a PLAN ?
can we get out of here ?
i thought things would be different .
this is not up for debate !
do whatever you have to do .
karmaās going to get you for that .
it couldāve been a lot worse .
i asked you to leave me out of this .
maybe itās time to take a leap of faith .
i never want to see you again .
can you see how many fingers iām holding up ?
iām gonna be there when you get whatās coming to you .
youāre the best thing thatās ever happened to me .
iāve been waiting all night for this .
i told you not to contact me .
sometimes i really think you have a death wish .
what do you need ?Ā āĀ what can i do ?
i would do literally anything to keep you safe .
that was supposed to be a secret .
you havenāt called me that in years .
stop telling me to calm down !
we make a pretty good team .
i have so much i want to say to you .
iām not going to let anyone hurt you .
can we please not do this right now ?Ā
wait ,Ā waitĀ ā¦Ā just breathe for a second .
how are you holding up ?
why donāt you stay the night ?Ā iāll take the couch .
i donāt need your protection !
youāre not making this easier on yourself .
are you going to let me in ?
iām supposed to be protecting you .
i will kill you if i have to .
do whatever you have to do .
this is going to hurt ,Ā iām sorry .
what happened to you ,Ā where have you been ?!
there was nothing you couldāve done .
youāre all i need right now .
i donāt believe in love at first sight .
have you been following me ?
i need you to believe me .
what do you remember ?
iām not a good person .
what the hellās going on with you ?
youāre being followed .
just when i thought my day couldnāt be any worse .
iāve been having weird dreams .
so youāve been lying to me this whole time ?
are you trying to get us killed ?
this is the worst thing thatās ever happened to me .
i never asked for your help .
youāre being followed ,Ā pretend you know me .
why has it started to feel different with you ?
donāt worry ,Ā i have a plan .
i heard everything .
do you need to sit down ?
i have the right to know whatās going on .
iāve just gotta catch my breath .
stay out of my business .
what did you think was going to happen ?!
donāt cause a scene .
tell me something about you that i donāt know .
can i buy you a drink ?
what ifĀ ā¦Ā we played spin the bottle ?
this was never a problem untilĀ [ name ]Ā came around .
you canāt ask me to make that choice .
are you seeing anyone right now ?
i need you to listen to me ,Ā we donāt have long .
youāre lying ,Ā that doesnāt make any sense .
you look  ⦠ stunning .
what are you trying to prove ?
who died and made you the boss of me ?
you canāt just show up here like this .
let me make it up to you .
thereās no way iām leaving you like this .
can we stay like this ?Ā just for a little longer .
i donāt need you to fight for me .
soĀ ā¦Ā you lied to me ?
youāre the only one that can help me .
i canāt help you if you wonāt let me .
i never introduced myself ,Ā iām [ name ] .
i expected more from you .
you have no idea who i am ,Ā do you ?
are you real ?Ā is this real ?
can i stay with you ?Ā just for the night .
youāre going to get yourself killed .
why did you help me ?
tell me what i can do to help .
pick a card ,Ā any card .
i never wanted any of this .
i love you .Ā Ā you donāt have to say it back .
do you wanna get out of here ?
what the hell are you talking about ?
i should have trusted you .
get your head out of the clouds .
how is any of this MY fault ?!
what arenāt you telling me ?
i canāt help you if you wonāt let me .
itās never just one with you ,Ā is it ?
youāre not supposed to know about that .
shut your mouth .
i havenāt kissed you yet ,Ā today .
where is this coming from ?
come over here and make me ,Ā then .
keep lying to yourself ,Ā see where it gets you .
iām not a bad person .
is that what you wanted to hear ?
we canāt be seen together .
i canāt give you what you want .
i need you to leave .
are you drunk ?
iām here ,Ā iām here .Ā iām not going anywhere .
you might want to take a seat for this .
have you been listening to anything iāve said ?
i havenāt heard from you in weeks .
youāre jealous ,Ā arenāt you ?
who do you think youāre talking to ?
what are you reading ?
you couldāve killed me !
come on ,Ā we donāt have time for this .
i just need ten minutes of silence .
really ?Ā thatās all you have to say ?
we could leave ,Ā you know .Ā go far away .
you donāt look too good .
i never want to see you again .
why canāt you just leave me alone ?
i thought you died .
youāll do anything for attention .
give me another chance .
howās the weatherĀ up there ?
all you do is hurt people !
iām sorry ,Ā none of this makes sense .
you need to get out of here before anyone sees you .
i told you i didnāt want you around here .
is that supposed to be a threat ?
youāve changed .
donāt look at me like that .
itās a beautiful day ,Ā donāt you think ?
i did what i had to do .
you never know when to stop .
iāve got to get home ,Ā itās getting late .
i have nothing to prove to you .
stop LYING to meĀ ā¦Ā all you do is lie .
you donāt have to be nice to everybody .
donāt tell me what to do .
pull your head out of the past .
nobody can help me .Ā i canāt even help me .
we are not talking about that right now .
are you new around here ?
you have no idea what youāre starting .
iām gonna get us out of here .
whatever you came here to say ,Ā i donāt want to hear it .
everyoneās staring at us .
is there anything i can do to help ?
i wonāt cause you any more trouble .
ā just follow my instructions for once !
do you want to come in ?
i just didnāt know what to do .
you need rest ,Ā lie down .
iām not who you think i am .
i donāt know what you want me to say .
youāre not like anyone else iāve ever met .
i feel like iām going insane .
stop asking ,Ā youāre not going to like my answer .
i didnāt want you to see me any differently .
i wish i knew what to say to you .
donāt give me that look ,Ā you know what i mean .
you should be afraid .
do you still love me ?
i never thought iād get this far .
the world doesnāt revolve around you .
i need you to give me some space .
i know what youāre doing ,Ā donāt play games .
you left me to die .
iām beyond repentance .
when are you going to get it through your head ?
i missed you more than i thought i would .
iām in love with you .
what do you need from me ?
iāll kill them ,Ā Ā just say the word .
[ name ] ,Ā Ā what are you doing here ?
how can i help ?
youāre pathetic .
i need you to come pick me up .
where have you been ?Ā itās eleven oāclock .
i couldnāt live with myself if i let you get hurt .
i canāt just pretend it didnāt happen .
youāre a real piece of work .
do you remember how we first met ?
when did all of this fall apart ?
thatās not what i came here for .
i would do anything for you .
i donāt need you to hold my hand through this .
are you sure this is the right thing to do ?
canāt we try to pretend things are okay ?
what is THAT supposed to mean ?
youāre always late ,Ā what am i supposed to think ?
thereās nothing you can do to fix this .
youāre far too kind to me .
can we go now ? Ā like , Ā right now ?
i have to do this alone .
whereās your common sense ?
we arenāt supposed to be in here .
can you feel my heartbeat ?
i think iāve seen you around before .
why are you acting weird ?
i have a really bad feeling .
i hate seeing you like this .
how am i supposed to react to that ?
what do you want most in the world ?

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming