❝𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕓𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕕𝕤!❞

tysm for the request!!

Premise: You have just been sent down from heaven to watch over the one and only town known as South Park. It's been pretty hectic over the years (or so you've heard), so you don't know what to expect. Let's get started!

Thursday, 8:00AM. 

School starts and walking through the door is a beautiful girl. With tight curls gently laying upon her shoulder. Her short stature fits her outfit perfectly. Gripping onto her binder she makes her way down to Mr. Mackey's office. 

Everyone seemed to have spotted her when she walked in. Especially Clyde.

"Did you see that girl?" Asked Tolkien, his mouth hanging open.

"Uh huh. She was like… an angel.. I need to be able to talk to her." Clyde gawked. 

On the other hand, there was Eric Cartman. He also found her.. fascinating. He couldn't explain it. 

"YOU GUYS- YOU GUYS. DID YOU SEE THE NEW GIRL?" Cartman ran up to his 3 friends out of breath.

"Yeah she's pretty." Kenny remarked muffled under his orange parka.

"Uh, yeah duh. I have to make her mine poor boy." Cartman's eyes rolled.

"No one wants to date you fatass. Especially not after what you did to Heidi. You're a horrible person and I truly feel sorry for anyone who has to even touch you in the slightest romantic way." Kyle slammed his locker shut and walked away to class. 

"That fucking ball muncher. I'll show him." The fatass huffed. 

Thursday, 8:30AM.

Skylar stepped into her new class, immediately taking a seat between Clyde and Cartman. Clyde gave Tolkien a smirk as Tolkien winked back. 

Cartman, however, gave Kyle more of a malicious smirk as Kyle rolled his eyes. 

It truly is strange how much intent can change a person's whole look while they're literally doing the same thing. 

"Uh oh yeah, class new student. Skylar, over there between Clyde and Eric I'm sure you've noticed her already, she sure does stand out." Mr. Garrison spoke. 

The short girl gave a small smile then continued to look down at her desk. 

"..Psst.. PSST… HEY SHORTIE I'M TALKING TO YOU!" Cartman grabbed Skylar's attention. "Can I help you?" Skylar looked at him with a hint of malice. "My friend Stan's having a party at his farm tomorrow when his family is away. Wanna come?" He handed her a paper slip with the address on it. "Uh.. Parties aren't really my thing.. but sure I guess!" She shrugged and continued to look another way. 

"Score.." Cartman said under his breath. 

Thursday, 11:30AM 

A lunch bell blared through the school speakers. Everyone immediately got up to go to the cafeteria. As Skylar stood up, someone tapped her shoulder. Clyde. Skylar analyzed his chocolate brown hair, the bit of chubbiness under his neck (not too much though), his brown eyes held a sense of sweetness in them, something she couldn't sense with Cartman. "Hey, so I know you're new, haha obviously, but you could sit with my friends if you don't already have people to sit with at lunch." He offered. "I'd love to, y-your friends wouldn't mind, would they?" She became a bit nervous. "Of course not. they're all nice people." 

They walked to the lunchroom without urgency. Skylar didn't talk much, actually she didn't talk at all. There wasn't a touch of awkwardness though. Clyde caught himself admiring her multiple times.

Once Clyde guided her to his table he introduced everyone pointing at them as he said their names. "There's Tolkien, Jimmy, Craig, and Tweek." 

"AGH- WHO'S SHE? IS SHE GONNA SHOOT US I DON'T WANNA BE SHOT" Tweek freaked out. "Babe, that's the new girl remember? She's harmless." Craig calmed down his boyfriend. "Actually, I planted a bomb right under that seat. Better watch out" Skylar smiled, taking a bite out of her sandwich. Tweek's eyes shot open, "I TOLD YOU AAGHJ I TOLD YOU SHE'S GONNA KILL US-" "She's joking." Craig held in a giggle. Tolkien, Jimmy, and Clyde though didn't hold back at all.

From across the lunchroom, Cartman glared at the table. "See, I told you no girl would ever fall for you-" Giving no reaction to the ginger, Cartman stood up and made his way to.. Wendy..

"Wendy, I need to ask you a question. You like boys, right?"

"Uh.. yeah..?"

"Would you rather date me or Clyde?"

"Neither. I love Stan and only Stan."

"No but like if you HAD to choose. Who would you pick?"

"Well anyone over you, so Clyde."

"WHAT? WHY?"

"You're a narcissistic sociopathic manipulative liar who only cares about himself and doesn't pay attention to how the people around him feel. Plus you're not very good looking." Wendy shrugged and continued eating. 

Cartman reluctantly walked back to his table and slumped over. 

Stan, Kyle, and Kenny exchanged confused glances then decided they didn't care enough to ask if he was alright.

Friday, 9:00PM

Time for the party. Skylar put on a beautiful outfit, sure to catch anyone's eye. 

She stepped through the door to Stan's house and immediately sat on the couch. The stench of weed and alcohol filled her nose. "Oh, Clyde. s-s-s-Skylars here" Jimmy spoke. "..Woah." Clyde spotted her on the couch. "She looks amazing.." "G-go talk to her m-m-m-ma m-man man." Jimmy nudged him with one of his crutches. 

Plopping down next to her, Clyde offered her a beer. "Oh no thanks, I don't really drink." She politely declined. "...So what do you know about that Cartman kid?" Skylar hesitantly asked. "Best way I could describe him is awful. He once cooked someone's parents and fed it to him over like $15.. He also abused his last girlfriend. It was horrible to see but she refused help. Scary shit dude.. Why do you ask?" 

"He just gave me bad vibes… I don't know.." 

Friday, 10:20PM

An hour of Skylar and Clyde talking and admiring each other went by. Clyde's eyes averted to the floor for a few seconds, when he looked back up he saw Skylar had.. wings and a halo.. "Woah!" Clyde flinched back a bit. 

"What's wrong? D-did i say something? I'm sorry-" ''No not at all you just- I mean- Wings?" 

Skylar's eyes widened as she grabbed his hand to bring him somewhere more secluded. 

"You can see my wings? She asked, shocked.

"Well.. yes. And a halo.."

"Oh no, God said only my soulmate could see my wings but that doesn't make any sense.. unless.. oh no.."

Clyde tilted his head. Maybe it was his bravery, or maybe it was just the beer, but he gently grabbed her face and kissed her. She melted into the kiss, calming down.

"I guess we're soulmates.."

PREMISE: YOU ARE SHELLEY'S BEST FRIEND VISITING THE FARM. SHELLEY IS AT A DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT WITH SHARRON AND STAN IS OUT WITH HIS FRIENDS SO IT'S JUST YOU, RANDY, AND TOWELIE FOR A LITTLE WHILE. 

Y/N walked towards the farm house's door at a fast pace looking down at theirs and Shelley's messages. 

Y/N: when r u gonna be back at ur house? im at ur door rn lmao

Shelley: I'm sorry itll probably take about an hour im doing a physical exam you can just sit on the couch. my dad may be annoying tho lmao

Y/N: ugh okay

Y/N stepped in the house, slipping off their black shoes. They sat on the couch mindlessly scrolling through Insta when a blue towel with blood shot eyes came up to them.

"Hey wanna get high?" It asked. 

"Huh? What?" Y/N gave it a confused look.

"I'm Towelie, follow me."

"Uh okay…" Y/N reluctantly followed.

Towelie grabbed their semi sweaty hand and brought them out to the weed testing room. 

Y/N heard a voice they recognized, none other than Randy Marsh, "Did you find a new test subject already, Towelie?" He asked, his back turned to the both of them while he stayed focused on his new weed blend. "Sure did." Towelie piped up. "Perfect, I really need someone to test this new strain for me. We're not letting Stan's friend's family across the street sell more than us." Randy put the finishing touches on the strand and turned around.

Pleasantly surprised at the person Towelie brought over, Randy spoke cheerfully, "Oh! Y/N, nice to see you! I didn't know you liked to smoke. Honestly it's refreshing to see kids like you. Nowadays everyone's been using those pussy vape sticks. I'm honored to show you some true weed, Some Tegridy.." He switched to a southern accent halfway through his mini speech. 

"Hi Mr. Marsh, it's good to see you again… I didn't exactly know I'd be smoking but I'm always 100% down for getting high!" They giggled. "Well that's great! come here, I have 3 joints all rolled up for us already." 

Taking a few steps closer, Y/N slipped their phone in their pocket and took the joint Randy offered them. Of course, Towelie took one as well. 

"Alright, let's light up guys." Towelie announced.

They all took turns lighting their joints. 

Y/N took a slow and long hit. The type that you still feel in your lungs even minutes after you exhale. "Mm that's good" Y/N closed their eyes and sat down on the floor immediately feeling the effects. "You can say that again." Towelie stood next to them now at eye level.

"I don't want you sitting on the floor, you're a guest Y/N. Come on, let's go back inside and sit on the couch." Randy grabbed their limp hands helping them up. 

After being seated for around 40 minutes the three heard the door open. 

"WHAT THE FUCK DAD I HATE YOU STOP STEALING ALL OF MY FRIENDS" Shelley yelled. 

"Now Shelley I know you have a weed problem but your dear friend Y/N wanted to try some of the new strain." 

Y/N gave a thumbs up in response. 

"Whatever, c'mon Y/N, we're going to my room." Shelley pulled Y/N off the couch.

A few hours passed and Y/N was about to leave, before they could make it out of the house though Randy and Towelie stopped them. "Come over again sometime?" Towelie asked. Y/N nodded and smiled then left out the door.

thats a cool theme! here u go 🤍💕 -mod tweek

premise: you are kyle's cousin who's moved in to live with his family ⌒☆

"Cartman, just please please promise me you won't make fun of her. I swear she's really cool once you get to know her. I'll give you 20 bucks if you dont bother her for this whole week at least while she's just getting settled in. That means no Jew jokes around her. Not even if it's about me." Kyle pleaded while getting himself seated in class. "Yeah yeah whatever. I just need the 20 bucks. After this week though, don't expect me to be nice." Cartman said dismissively. "Fine."

Mr. Garrison clapped, getting the class's attention, "Alright class, settle down. Today is a very important day. We have a new student with us today. I expect you all to be on your best behavior. especially you Eric" Cartman rolled his eyes. "Everyone please welcome Y/N"

Y/N walked through the door, her head slightly turned down while she played with her fingers.

Cartman's eyes widened. "Woah.. she's hot.." Kenny said muffled through his orange parka. Cartman slightly nodded. "Dude, that's my cousin. watch it." Kyle turned back towards the two.

"Don't just stand there like a whore in church, tell us a bit about yourself." Mr. Garrison nudged Y/N. "Uhm.. well I'm from (your hometown/city/state), I'm Jewish, Kyle is my cousin actually haha, and i actually love kfc.. I don't know.. anything else I think that's it." "Well alright Y/N, why don't you go sit next to Eric over there. Eric raise your hand." Cartman didn't move. "ERIC GOD DAMMIT RAISE YOUR HAND" "fine, sorry" Cartman shot his hand up. Y/N sat next to Cartman and threw her bag on the floor next to her. Kyle eyed Cartman making sure he wasn't pulling anything stupid.

After around an hour of Mr. Garrison explaining his love life, he finally spoke about something school related, "Anyways moving on from my Tinder hookups, I actually assigned you guys a project. It's gonna be about the book Twilight. listen I know Principal Victoria doesn't think it's school appropriate but I think it's a beautiful love story. For the project you'll have to do a slideshow on whether you're team Edward or team Jacob. This is an individual project so you'll be doing it by yourself, except for Y/N. Y/N since you haven't had enough time to read the book you can work with Eric. I'm sure he'll help you just fine. Get to work guys."

Kyle side-eyed Cartman as another warning. Cartman just stared back innocently.

"So, uh, Y/N who should I choose to side with?" Cartman turned towards her. Y/N shrugged, "Bro I don't know you're the one who read it, not me." "Okay, first of all don't be a bitch. Second.. I guess I'll go with Edward" Y/N took out her phone to check the time, "Sounds good to me.. when's lunch by the way?" "At like 11:30. why?" "I'm hungry. I think my aunt packed me kfc for my first day." Kyle who was eavesdropping responded, "Yeah she did. She packed some for me too. You made a mistake of telling this fatass that though" "AYE DON'T CALL ME FAT YOU STUPID JE- you stupid idiot." Cartman caught himself. '20 bucks 20 bucks 20 bucks' He kept repeating to himself in his head. "Yeah, that's what I thought." Kyle gave him a sly smirk. Y/N cleared her throat shifting in her seat, "Uh anyways, i-if you want I guess I can do some research on Edward for the project to help you. I feel kinda shitty making you do all the work-" "Don't feel bad whenever me and him are paired up he makes me do all the fucking work because he's an annoying shit." Kyle cut her off. "MIND YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS KAHL." Cartman retorted. Y/N turned back to Cartman "..Anyways if you wanna come over later to work on this I'm sure my aunt won't mind. She'd be happy I'm making friends." "What! I don't want him coming over Y/N please-" "Shut up Kahl. Sure I'll come over Y/N! It'd be my pleasure" Cartman said in a disgustingly sweet voice giving Kyle the same sly smirk he got from him earlier. Kyle stared daggers into him.

Time skip to lunch

"Dude, he's just hanging out with her for a project. It's not like they're dating." Stan comforted Kyle. "Yeah, I'm sure it'll be fine," Kenny patted his back. "Whatever, I just don't want him near her. He's a horrible influence and a horrible person. Y/N's a good person, I don't want her being corrupted by him. Plus, once this week is over he's just gonna resort to bullying her."

Cartman sat at the table, followed by Y/N. Kyle rolled his eyes looking over at Stan who just gave a sympathetic look. "So uh how is your day going so far Y/N?" Stan broke the tense atmosphere. "It's going pretty well. Everyone's really nice. I'm hanging out with Wendy tomorrow, she's your girlfriend right Stan?" Y/N smiled. "Oh, yeah she is. She's really sweet, you guys will be great friends." Stan smiled back.

Y/N took the kfc out of her bag. As expected, Cartman's mouth watered at the sight. Taking notice to him eyeing her piece of chicken Y/N spoke, "Do you want a piece? You can just ask, you know. We're basically friends." She giggled. A light shade of pink dusted Cartman's cheeks, barely noticeable to everyone except.. Kyle.. His cheeks grew red too, not from good feelings though. An explosive anger grew inside of him. Stan began to ask, "Uh dude are you okay-" "WHAT THE FUCK FATASS!" Kyle yelled. The cafeteria went silent except for Kenny's giggles. "THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR KAHL?" "I NEED TO SPEAK WITH YOU RIGHT FUCKING NOW." Kyle forcefully pulled Cartman into the hallway.

"What do you want!?" Cartman half yelled. "DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON MY FUCKING COUSIN?"

"Kahl I-"

"ANSWER ME YOU FAT FUCK."

"WHY DOES IT MATTER?"

"BECAUSE YOU'RE A NO GOOD ASSHOLE. YOU'LL RUIN HER. REMEMBER HEIDI?"

"DUDE I'VE CHANGED."

"Yeah fucking right. Stay away from her or I'll kick your ass in front of everyone."

Kyle stormed off back into the cafeteria, slowly followed by Cartman.

Y/N stared quizzically at Stan who just shrugged back at her.

"Uh.. anyways are you still coming over after school?" Y/N asked Cartman. Kyle banged his head on the table letting out a loud groan. "Yes, yes I am Y/N."

Time skip after school

"Sorry if my room's a bit messy, I haven't really had time to unpack all my stuff yet" Y/N sat on her bed. "No, it's fine." Cartman smiled looking around. "So.. uhm before we get started, can I ask you something?" Y/N said fidgeting with the fabric of her comforter. "Yeah, fine."

"Why do you and Kyle hate each other so much?"

"..Well.. it's been happening since we're like 4. It's not that big of a deal."

"Then why'd he get so mad at you earlier? I've never seen him like that before."

With a slightly visible blush on his cheeks, Cartman sat next to her on the bed.

"It's.. it's because he doesn't want us dating. Fucking stupid, right? Like I just met you" Cartman dodged the fact that he liked her despite just meeting her that day.

"Why? I mean you seem sweet enough.. Also.. I don't think it's stupid to like someone you just met. Sometimes when you know you just know. you know?" Y/N finally met his eyes.

"Yeah.. yeah I do know." His voice lowered.

They unintentionally inched closer together. Soon enough, without even having time to think about it, their lips met. They stayed like that for a little. Just kissing each other like nothing else mattered.. that was until Kyle opened her door, "Y/N my mom asked if you wanted- HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME CARTMAN?!" "UH OH" Cartman shot up from her bed. "I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS FATASS"

"NOT A CHANCE JEW" Cartman ran past him.

BASICS

17 years old

rot/rotself cor/corpse he/him stork/storkself

I love south park! and writing

Rules

I'll write any genre

any ship and any x readers r fine!

i only write south park

Extra

i love bo burnham!

[𝓑𝓐𝓢𝓘𝓒𝓢] ෴

17

lem/lemons, beep/boops, meow/mews, death/deaths, and more (it/its is fine too)

i love south park and writing!! (i can do other fandoms too)

[𝓡𝓤𝓛𝓔𝓢] ෴

ill write all kinds of genres (fluff, angst, etc) and any type of pairing (x reader, x character, multiple characters, etc)

headcanons and one shots only, no full fics!

no illegal ships !!!!

[𝓔𝓧𝓣𝓡𝓐] ෴

i dont always tag artists- all credits to artists!!! ૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა